it's me again and i need more help?

Question

first thing is to say thank you to all of you that reply to my post,
but i saw that most of you said that i have very lowself esteem and i need to get help for this.
how can i get a self help on this and how do i get others to help me to for free.i am a low income and cann't afford to pay someone to help me with this,is there anyone that can help me get through this some how.
i thank you all again over and over and hope to get the right help soon.i don't like feeling this way,i feel i need him to make it and i should know better then that but then you don't have it to live and thats all you have,i'm getting deeper in that low spot,can someone please help me.
i'm 45 and need to be lifted up and find some kind of good in my self and hope for me.
i'm afraied of being alone and don't know if i can do it,if we breakup for good.
someone talk to me.

Answer 1

I have what I call a pity-party. I only allow myself a certain amount of time, and then I make myself get up and do something.. Dry those tears, and go to the local library, there is lots of good books dealing with low self esteem. Check you out a couple of them. You can live without this man, I am not going to tell you it will be easy, but you can....so, what if you are 45. I am 44, and fixing to be single again, and I know how hard it is. I also know how scared you are. I have been with this man for 27 years, I thought I couldn't breath without him, but you know what I can-and I will. Just like you are! You sound like a wonderful caring person, and I wished you lived near by, and I would kick you in the butt, because that is what my friend did to me. Yes, I gave up, thought of suicide the works, and you know what-no man is worth it....I decided I would be better alone, then sit there and let him rip my heart anymore. I have some good friends and I hope one day I can find a man who will make me forget and love me like I will him. We all deserve that-and that includes you!
So, call a friend, get dressed up and go have a coke or coffee with them. Check into going back to school, you can get grants, and it wouldn't cost you a dime. Join a club. I started taking dance lessons at a local bar, and I am enjoying it. It's free, and I have met some very nice people. It's so scarey till I was shaking, but I am doing it. I have bad days, but I can quarntee you it gets better. I hope he will help you, but if he doesn't want to work at the relationship-then tell him to take a walk. I wish you well, and I will be praying that you find the strength and the courage that you need...still wished you lived next door, because honey I definitely would give you a ear full.....God bless...

Answer 2

sometimes it hurts before it feels better, It is going to hurt no matter what. God will never give you more than you can handle. Hold your head up and own the world.. You can make it without someone by your side 24/7. It is called being dependent on yourself. Learn to love yourself, make a list of good things about yourself and go from there. Again, get in touch with you and who you are, If you feel that you can not live without this person, what are you saying about yourself? That you are worthless, that no one will care?? Seriously, no man is worth that, Nobody is worth that, I have been in some pretty low places myself, You DO have the inner strength to pull out of this it will take some time and some SERIOUS PATIENCE with yourself. You will be okay... Everything you do from now on just do it for you... Be selfish for once... Pamper yourself... Look forward to the future not yesterday it is gone and there is nothing you can do to get it back...

Answer 3

Alone??? With so many millions of people on this planet, ALONE is a matter of perception, a false one at that. Honey, listen! You do NOT need him AND you CAN survive without him. How can you get help? Start by helping yourself. No money required! find a good church, join a good support group, start one for that matter. I said this to someone earlier and I will now say it to you. How people feel about themselves and how others feel about them is all opinion. Where there is one person who thinks of you and treats you one way, there are thousands of untold others who will treat you better. If one person thinks another is better than you, a hundred others will think YOU are the diamond in the rough. You do NOT need this person! NOT when there are so many others out there that will be a thousand times better for you than that! The point is that ONE person does NOT make you who and what you are! YOU DO!!!!! To hades with him! Get out and start over. YOU CAN DO THAT! Yo have options. talk to a clergyman and call around to see what kind of housing options you have. Income based would work until you are on your OWN feet. Start with one thing at a time. YOU CAN do this without him. Surround yourself in friends and a good socail network, like church friends. Change your thinking. YOU have this situation, the SITUATION DOES NOT have YOU! If I can help, I will! If you need a positive friend, you found one! Feel free to e-mail me anytime. [e-mail]! I'm willing to talk and listen and help if I can! God bless and best wishes! good luck!

Answer 4

You need to go to church, pray ,and fast and assk the lord to guide your steps. remember the footsteps when only one set of footprints were in the sand ? The lord was carrying you and he will again if you put all your faith in him. do not worry about what is or is not beacuse he will not leave yu alone, even when you feel like you are. All you need is faith the size of amustard seed. I can tell yu from experience. The only man you need is GOD Trust and believe. If you have insurance call and ask them for participating counselors and make an app. all you should have to pay is the co-pay for a specialist. that is what i am doing myself right now.Or if you belong to a church make an appointment to see the pastor and talk with him as well.

sweetie you need to stay in prayer and ask for guidance. he will never lead you astray. Then again I am always an e-mail away. try all three.

Good Luck Nad God bless

Charise

Answer 5

I have really low self esteem too. Exercise (and a new outfit every now and then) really helps!! Exercise every single day! If you have really low self esteem and don't want people watching you exercising then go hiking ! People can't even see you and you will look great in no time!!! Please follow this advise!!! Hiking will make you into a new woman! Also, do you like to take pictures? Bring the camera along to capture all the beautiful things you see! A soon as you start having more self esteem you husband will really enjoy it!
[e-mail]

Answer 6

Dr. Laura is awesome... you can listen to her on the radio.

However, I personally believe that anything YOU want, you can achieve. Don't rely on others to fulfill your goals and ambitions.

What is your ideal of a confident, secure person with high self-esteem? Do they walk with their heads up, look others in the eyes, smile big when they meet others, shake hands, say what is on their mind, ask for the things they want?
You are no different then the people that act in this manner. Just go out & do these things. When you are at the grocery store, talk to people... look them in the eye. The more you do these things, the more comfortable you will become, and these actions will become second nature to you.

KNOW WHAT YOU WANT. Don't settle for less. This works in everything from ordering at McDonald's to looking for Mr. Right.

Good luck & God bless!

Answer 7

Being alone is scary if you've never done it before. What do you like to do? Find things that you used to do before you were married and go back to that. When I was alone I kept myself busy. I joined a bowling league, I jogged, I went roller skating, I hung out with my gay friends (didn't want to be hit on by straight men at that time), I read a lot of books including some SELF HELP books to deal with low self esteem, break ups, putting you back together..., I went to the movies, I make blankets, I had monthly dinners for my girlfriends (we men bashed, but it was fun)... You see what I'm getting at? Do the things that you really like to do, that you had stopped doing because he didn't want to or he didn't like it or he wanted you home with him. Obviously, you lost yourself in him. So get you back. You may meet the next one while you are out doing your thing. If you get busy, you won't have time to focus on being alone. And don't leave the lines of communication open with him because it will only confuse you. A therapist told me "you have to shut the revolving door".

Answer 8

There should be no fear in being alone I've been where you are I thought I couldn't breathe without this person no matter how much she walked on me and without her I'd die I did but now I'm reborn. You were not born with this loser you don't have to die with him life is never over because of age. I think in order to gain esteem you have to believe in yourself if you don't he won't it takes courage and heart. we know you have heart you cared to write this just find the courage. I did you can lol 313

Answer 9

You are contemplating on having cosmetic surgery and paying thousands of dollars for a doctor, but can't afford a shrink? You must be kidding me!?

Your insurance should cover any therapist/psychologist visits. Call your insurance and ask them what's covered and how much the copayment is.

Answer 10

There are many books and tapes you can borrow for free at your local library to help build your self esteem.That's all you really need and some time to get over him.Everything will work out if you think positive.Try it- It works.Good Luck!