is my fiance cheating on me?

Question

We've been together 4 years and currently he is living out of state. He's moving back here next month and we are moving in together. He has never acted like he has cheated on me, but girls have left notes on his car after work and referred to him as "Baby" and he's gotten a lot more phone numbers from girls since he has been up there. He lived me for 3 years and has spent the last year out of state. We keep in contact regualrly and visit each other once a month, but reading the notes that girls leave on his car make me suspect he could be cheating. Neither one of us has ever cheated before (to my knowledge), we've been engaged for 2 years, going to be living together for the second time and at the beginning of the new year we are going to start planning our wedding. Could the notes and phone numbers mean anything, or am I just not trusting him enough? What do you think?

Answer 1

Ask "Cheaters" to investigate for you.

Answer 2

I'm glad to hear you guys will be moving in together before you get married. This will allow you even more time to get to know him and his possible habits before you make that final step.

Hearing that other women refer to him as "baby" is concerning. Nicknames like that signify a relationship of some sort. Unless huge men named Tiny also refer to your fiance as "Baby," I would be concerned about it.

Someone suggested calling Cheaters. I would recommend that as well. It's one of the best ways to find out for sure what is going on. Don't try to investigate it yourself; if he finds out he will think you are insecure or jealous. Get a PI to do it.

Someone else suggested that look, "sex is just what a man needs bla bla bla." While that might be true, it is not fair to you that he continue a committed relationship with you while pursuing other options.

Sure, you COULD confront him and tell him you want these phone calls and notes to stop, but what guarantee do you have that it will stop while he is so far away? That's why I'm glad he is coming back. And of course he will SAY it's nothing....

But your instincts are possibly telling you otherwise. Either way, you need more information BEFORE you start planning that wedding.

If he comes home to you and you tell him you want all that to stop and he agrees and you see no further signs of anything strange going on, then maybe he's being honest with you and really trying to keep this relationship strong.

Good luck.

Answer 3

I think you need to confront him, and let him know what you're thinking and feeling. Point out the notes you've seen and the numbers from the girls, so you have valid points as to why you feel he might be cheating. If he seems offended or really defensive and becomes upset or even starts yelling, then it's very possible he may be. If he seems sad or immediately denies the allegations it's more likely he hasn't been. But a talk with your to-be hubby is the best bet. If things don't seem like they went well and you're still suspicious, then I would consider a private investigator or something of that sort. You have every right to know the truth, especially since you are planning on marrying him.

Answer 4

Is it one girl that leaves the notes or many? One girl might have a crush on him but he doesn't do anything back. I'd give him the benefit of the doubt on that one. But more than one girl and I would wonder. If he's doing his job and minding his own business, why would those girls think he is available? Do you run around leaving notes on men's cars that you don't know...? Exactly!

If he is going to stay in state with you after this time, then maybe you can let it all go. But, if he is going to be going out of state on a regular basis, I'd check up on what's going on. If he's cheating now, it usually doesn't get better.

You can't change anyone - only yourself.

Good luck.

Answer 5

I'm sure the opportunity to cheat is there, whether or not he has cannot really be determined. I would guess YES only because he lives out of state and he could do it without you ever finding out. The notes and numbers are a very lazy sign that he may have cheated. You would think he'd be smarter and hide stuff like that - but maybe he wants you to see it. Maybe he wants you to worry. I would seriously reconsider marrying him. I would only marry a guy who lived in the same state as me.

Answer 6

I wouldnt think he was, but he has evry oppurtunity to if he desires. Out of state relationships are tough as hell. What you need to focus on in my opinion is he going to be faithful once you are together all of the time! Im not saying it was ok for him to cheat, but there isnt really a way to find out for sure unless he tells you. You need to get back in the same place and see how things go. I wouldnt get ready for a wedding right away. Get to know each other again a little bit first

Answer 7

you won't be able to have a courting without believe and accurate off the bat he breaks this with you. His excuses are rather pathetic in case you question me. he's only attempting to administration the priority by using toying with your emotions (i'm scared, blah blah). He would not understand he's doing this, he's only preserving this stuff because he changed into stuck. you may want to no longer have had to discover this out for your self, he must have got here sparkling from the initiating. Why may you go with to commence a wedding ceremony this kind? certain, he probably is making use of those different women for countless causes only as he's making use of you. appears like he struggles with believe with women typically. If there is any desire for this marriage i'd strongly strongly recommend getting premarital counseling to sparkling issues up in case you go with to stay with this guy. you won't be able to start up a wedding ceremony on the speed you both are going...

Answer 8

Well cant say for sure but any normal guy living greater than 50 miles from his girlfriend is having sex with other women. That doesnt mean he is cheating on you................it's just sex..........just a physical act.............now if there were feelings involved then he is cheating. Look men and women view sex totally different............men can have sex and have it mean absolutely nothing. It is actually abnormal for a man not to want to have sex with other women. It would be like eating cheese pizza for every meal every day for the rest of your life. After a while you are going to want to eat something different. Look I am sure he loves you but only seeing you once a month.............his needs need to be taken care of.

Answer 9

Congrats!I too am getting married -on Sat!I have always been a little jealous too.If you have any doubts,hold off with the planning until you know for sure or trust him enough to not even question these things.My fiance and I actually did a year of couples counseling before we even decided to tie the knot.Believe it or not it really helped!Remember it's alot easier to get married than it is to get divorced.Good luck!

Answer 10

Look as a male I would run far,run fast but run ! Why waste your time and energy on somthing that sounds like a disaster from the start . I can't immagine having to worry even before getting married !
!

Answer 11

theres a big possibility they he has or is cheating on you, but there is a very small chance that these are just friends or girls that really like him, but your boyfriend doesnt take it any further then friendship. If your that worried about it, keep bugging him about it. Do alittle investigating yourself.

Good luck