My boyfriend and I have been dating exclusively for more than a year. I have a house, he has a house. He had a 30 year marriage die in that house, and two failed relationships, so don't think I wish to live in that house. I left an 18 year marriage and moved to another state.(he was a drunk, then had an affair...) I would like us to buy a different house and sell the two we have...it would be cheaper, and frankly I don't wish to live alone any longer. We are both in our 50's, young, energetic, and $$ is no problem. Do I continue to stay in this relationship with no committment to live together, or do I set a dead line, or do I bring up the issue, and if it is not resolved, just bail??? Don't like living by myself, wish to live with him, but he feels rushed. Idea? Comments? Serious only, huh?
2006-07-19 06:50:12 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's only been over a year. Why are you hounding him? Maybe he loves his home and his memories in it. Maybe he doesn't want to sell it. Maybe he's not ready to live with someone again. If you want to live with someone because you are lonely that is fine. Don't force that on him. You'll both be miserable if one of you is against the idea when you move in. Give him some time. A year is nothing. Especially when you want to BUY a house together. That's being a bit impatient.
2006-07-19 07:01:09 · answer #1 · answered by jdscorrupted 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
talk about it with your boyfriend first. if he in the end, decides to live together, this is what i would suggest.
because of the bad history in both your houses, get a new one, even an apt. if you have to. but i wouldn't sell either of your houses because in case things don't work out or something (hope that it doesn't) you guys will still have a home to go back to. while you guys are living together, rent the rooms in your individual houses or lease the houses to families (collect rent monthly) or something like that. that way, you can make money AND be living with the guy you love. :) b/c from what i know, renting property/rooms can make you a lot of extra cash (depending on where you live i guess).
but if he doesn't want to move in together, you really love him, and everything else is working out great, i wouldn't bail. i'd try to work things out? i don't think the problem of living together is the reason to leave a relationship? and hopefully even if he isn't ready just yet, one day he will be... and you don't want to leave just in case that does happen.. you know?
2006-07-19 14:08:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's only been a year, he has every right to feel rushed. He was married for 30 years, then had 2 relationships after that - its no wonder he is in no hurry to completely settle down with you.
If you really love this man, you will give him the time and space he wants and deserves. If after another year or so passes without him mentioning moving in together, I think then would be a good time for you to bring it up.
2006-07-19 14:19:21 · answer #3 · answered by thersa33 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One year sounds a bit like rushing to me too. Selling houses is a big deal for someone you have only known a year.
I would wait a while longer, and then re-ask him about his commitment plans.
If you NEED a man right now, then I suppose your ultimatum idea is fine...but if everything is going okay in the relationship, why rush things?
2006-07-19 14:03:10 · answer #4 · answered by Nightwish 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay in your house and stay on the course of the life you have chosen. It would be worse if you moved in together and then realized there was no real commitment. Now you would have to extricate yourself from that situation, and from the looks of it, you'd had enough already. Don't rush into it, a year is not too long anyway.
2006-07-19 13:56:49 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you talked about moving in with eachother? I say bring it up on a special occasion and get his feedback. If he is some what shy of the idea. Offer some solutions about the houses.. Think of different options so he doesnt feel he is losing his control of his life.
2006-07-19 13:58:31 · answer #6 · answered by ♠♣♥Rogue♣♥♠ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should be talking to him about that. If you really think you love him, then you guys should live together.
2006-07-19 13:55:57 · answer #7 · answered by ~*Jenny*~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1yr max..
2006-07-19 15:27:59 · answer #8 · answered by bhadgyrl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋