My boyfriend comes from high society, I don't.?

Question

When we have dinner with his parents, it's a table cloth, fine silverware, champane glasses, and talking about politics. His parents are super-rich and my man has a MBA. I am a hairdresser. When we go to my parents for dinner, we go swimming, eat pizza standing around the island in the kitchen and drink beers and soda. My parents are lower middle class hippie surfers. I always hear people say, "you only got him because your really hot", "You'll never get married because you come from two different backgrounds". Is this true? I am only 21 and have never heard that. Is that the way it usually goes. The rich only want to marry the rich?

Answer 1

No, that's not true. They are just jealous that you have a wealthy significant other.

Answer 2

Its not really a question of getting married. If he really loves you he will marry you. But things change in long term after-wards so.... the problem remains about getting along after marriage... no matter how compatible you are, there are lots of tiny little real world things which start to look bigger in life, when you come from different backgrounds. There is nothing wrong in being rich or not, its just the way people lead life...... is different.
Which are completely overlooked when you are in love, and they show up after an year or two, in some cases even early and start affect the marriage eventually.
You start having small arguments, leading to bigger ones and on and on.. sometimes to some serious end.
Well if you look at it from a positive angle that what the life is all about.. trying to get to a balance in life. but this personal life affects your and your spouse in so many other ways. and at a certain point either of you might feel that it was a mistake and that's it! End of a Happy marriage.
So if you really want to be happy try to learn his ways, I don't know if you are living together right now... but if you are, good. Try to do things in his way, also in general household and also try to talk him out about the things you do not like.. rather than just being a pair of love birds. Keep in mind, he is a MBA he loves to get things done rather than doing...

Answer 3

If he cares and loves you than the two different backgrounds thing would not matter. Number one, the people that are being rude, are probably jealous because he picked you. Depending on his maturity level, and how much he cares for you will be the deciding factor. Do not let the snobs get to you, their blood is the same color as your blood, and when they die, they can't take their money with them. Number two, remember that if you weren't good enough in his eyes, you wouldn't be with him. Hold your chin up, and so not worry about how differently you were raised, or your backgrounds. You wouldn't judge a book by it's cover would you??? Nope, you would read a little and make a decision. Do not harp on this or it could break you up. Enjoy your relationship, and relax.

Answer 4

It totally depends on the people involved. There is no one "rule" that every single individual follows.

You could ask your boyfriend what he thinks about the fact that he comes from "high society" and you were raised by "hippie surfers." Find out what his thoughts are on the matter. It is possible that he likes you because you're hot and/or because your family's lifestyle is so different--that is, it is possible that he likes you simply because of the externals. But it is also possible that he likes you for your mind, your spirit, your energy--the internals. You can't judge this until you talk to him. It's pretty pointless to sit around and speculate. Go to the source to find the answer you seek.

That said, do you want to marry this guy? How long have you been together? Are you hoping to enjoy his company and have fun, or are you in it for the long-haul? In other words, do you *need* to have your questions answered right now? Is it too early in the relationship?

Moreover, what is it about him that draws you? Are you in it for the money, the "society"--the externals? Or are you attracted to his mind, spirit, energy--internals?

My biggest suggestion to you would be not to judge based on appearances, dollars, and items. What one looks like and owns is just (a) the luck of the draw (physical attributes) and (b) junk they've accumulated (cash and goods). Ultimately, these things are of little value. So if you are overvaluing your boyfriend's parents' wealth and lifestyle and undervaluing your family's lifestyle, then you are setting yourself up for an inferiority complex that is totally pointless. A person's worth is not determined by their tax forms. And if you think your boyfriend's family is somehow better, you're in for trouble.

In any event, try to enjoy your life and stop worrying about other people telling you this and telling you that. People have all sorts of ideas that are not based in reality. My fiance and I appear so different, and other people thought that we'd never last. They were probably placing bets. But what they didn't know was that our spirits and souls connected, which ultimately had/has little to do with what things look like on the outside.

I think that YOU need to do some soul searching to determine who you are and what you want, independent of other people and independent of your boyfriend. If you know who you are, you will be less inclined to freak out about what other people say about you and your relationships.

Answer 5

Just because the parents are one way doesn't mean the kids turn out the same way (or have the same ideals). Sounds like communication is the big issue here. Find out if you have the same goals (regardless of what the parents "goals" may be). But its important to find this out soon and not waste time developing a relationship if for no other reason than to avoid the "I told you so" from your friends. Hope this helps.

Answer 6

That is sometimes the way that it goes. I'd try not to plan your life out. Live each day for each day. You'll only make yourself unhappy if you constantly fret about where you're going to be in 5 or 10 years. It's the same as always wondering what might've been.

If you and your boyfriend love each other truly, I don't think you have much to worry about. It might be hard, but if you're willing to stick with it because you love him, then you'll have won the best prize in the world.

Answer 7

This is not true. My in -laws are rich....My parents were not rich, but above middle a bit. Money and Love are two different things. Actually I'd choose the love over being rich, although money is nice to have I must admit. Whoever tells you this is just jealous and wish they were sailing the same boat you are is all.

Answer 8

I don't think that you have to worry about him not wanting to marry you.

He is with you because he likes you and you know that for sure if he hangs out at your parents and doesn't make excuses not to. And I am not saying that because your parents are bad people I am saying that because if he didn't like the way they were and the way you are he wouldn't want to go over there with you.

Probably he views you and your family as a breath of fresh air. People he can be around and relax. I don't think you have anything to worry about.

Answer 9

Everyone just wants to better themself. So basically the more perks you have, the more they'll like you. That means a plus if you're rich, a super plus if you're famous, a plus if you're goodlooking, a plus if you have lots of connections and so on. Chances are you do something for him on a personal, perphaps sentimental level, that no one else can give him, this value, combined with the rest of your perks are what make him like you so much. Money doesn't have much to do with it, but at the beginnning It would simply be about the money. No one wants to acquire a burden. Push come to shove, there's just something about you. He loves it. Everyone else is envious.

Answer 10

Usually yes... but you know what... why not?? if you are a pretty girl and just because you dont come from a rich backround doesnt mean that you dont have class... swetty class is something your born with not something you buy?? ask your boyfriend too ask him im curious of why are you with me is it because im hot or do you see something else in me?? dont ask him would he marry you someday ask him you think you could marry a girl like me,,,an avarage girl?? talking financially... how do his parents treat you?? because if they treat you good well it means that they dont believe in all this high class mambo jumbo... you dont have to feel bad of where you come from as long as you were raise with love and manners... if that man loves you he is not going to give a danm where you come from or what you have or dont have... you just be you... and just see what happend.. good luck.

Answer 11

Do not let people do this to you they will be the reason you relationship ends. They are undermining your confidence just because they failed does not mean you will fail.

Or more simply stated never forget where you came from but evolve into a better class of person. That seems to be your issue so become more sophisticated if you want beware of the land sharks.