my boy friend and i have been going out for 4 years and have one 2 year old daugter. at the begining of our relationship he cheated on me i we seperated for a while and then he said he said he wanted us to be together again i was above and beyond nice the first couple of months but scince then everything just seems to be going down hill we get a long and we try to be a normal family but some thing has always been off even though i have never been able to put my finger on it. last night we were arguing and he said that he didnt love me any more that he never has. he said that he has tried but hasent been able to. i was shocked. and in a way it made alot of things make more sence. did he say that because he was mad or did he mean it? what do i do?
2006-07-19 06:19:31 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Dear,
For someone to love you, you have to love and respect yourself first.
Relationships go two ways: give and take. Do not be so surprised at what he said, of course he means it. A man that loves you would never hurt you with unkind words. Learn from the experience and set clear boundaries for your next relationship. If you jump too quickly into having sex and moving in together you are sending the message that you are not special, just one like any other from the crowd. Value yourself and others will value you as well.
2006-07-19 06:29:30 · answer #1 · answered by Missy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on! Being in this for 4 years and having a child will not be easy but this is something you need to do now and not 5 or 10 years from now. You do not deserve to be with someone who doesn't love you. You deserve to be loved the way you want to be. Do you want to go to bed every night feeling unloved, not cared for and unstable? Also, think about the example you are presenting to your daughter. What would you want her to do? I'm sure you know what you should do deep down. It can be scary but you'll come out dominating! Believe me!
2006-07-19 13:35:11 · answer #2 · answered by ophee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he did mean it, he just couldn't find the right time to tell you so. I kind of agree with him, when he said he tried to make it work because it seems that you both tried but it there is something missing, well it think you call that, LOVE. Maybe he has a different feeling towards you, Maybe he's just used to you and needs you as a friend more than a lover and this may be the same for you. For your daughters sake you both gave it another try but it didn't work out, and that is OK, the good thing is you both tried, unfortunately Love is not there anymore, and in order to raise a healty, loving family you will need a lot of love. Dedicate all your time and love to your little one who will need it, don't try to find love for now. Love is funny and it will find you when it is time. I wish you the best, good luck to you, him and your little one:) Don't hate him for being honest with you. You should thank him for telling you the truth and be good friends for your little one's sake, she will need to see both of you getting along, believe me this will help her a lot. Again good luck:)
2006-07-19 13:36:42 · answer #3 · answered by ange!s26 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him NOW and do what you have to do to make sure that your daughter is financially supported by him immediately!
There is no way you will ever change his feelings. He has admitted them finally and you are better off taking him at his word. Look at it this way as well... even if what he said is NOT true, would you want to be with someone who would sink so low as to say such a thing to push you away? He is cruel at best...
Also, start to look at yourself and your refusal to see any signs that there were problems.... and start to work on attracting more healthy partners.
2006-07-19 13:31:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't waste any more time on him. You've lost enough of your life to this bastard. He probably did mean it but only said it because he was mad. He may have been trying to make it work for your daughter. Leave him because you deserve someone who will love you and he is out there. Don't waste one more breath, not even a word. Just leave.
2006-07-19 13:25:02 · answer #5 · answered by Phaylynn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You guys need counseling... but one thing i can tell you that is when people are madd and arguing their true fellings shows.. maybe you need to try counseling but if it dont work my advice for you is to move on.. because who wants to be in a relationship that you know that you are not loved... everybody needs love.. and for now and on when or if he tells you he loves you your going to wonder?? well today at this moment you do cause your not madd... this is defiantly a good case for counseling... and im only advicing you the counseling because you have a baby together.. if not i would not even tell you to go conseling that is very rude of him to tell you he dont love you now..take control of your life.... make good choices for you and your kid.. good luck.
2006-07-19 13:33:00 · answer #6 · answered by boricua_2290 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋