She started reading the book she found in the basement that once belonged to her mom; Fairy had already fell in love with reading. It was like being in a whole knew world for her… if she was stressed, sad, angry, or confused she would just open her book and read. It would calm her down. She started feeling sleepy, so she looked for her bookmark, but she couldn’t find it, so she just kept her book open and set it upside down.
After a while she fell asleep. It was the end of the dream she had the other night. What? Where am I? All the creatures that she thought were screaming in the dream were actually cheering. She stared in amazement; there were so many odd creatures here. She looked around, it was all so beautiful, there was a beautiful big waterfall, grass as green as green could get, tulips and wild rose bushes blooming in the air, every food you could imagine growing on trees including candy, fruit, and… even chicken.
2006-07-19 05:49:22 · 10 answers · asked by maltese_i_love 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
Well, I admire your imagination. However, there are some grammatical errors and misspellings. Example: "Fairy had already fell in love with reading." It should read "Fairy had already fallen in love..." Also, "knew" should be "new"
2006-07-19 06:03:16 · answer #1 · answered by Padme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is undesirable. I study the 1st paragraph and had to stress my eyes to study it. Your first sentence became into incorrect, and complicated. do no longer use ( ) issues. You had many grammar errors and the paragraph became into basically boring. It became into written VERY poorly. maximum folk at right here very own some writing expertise and capacity, yet I could be honest and inform you which you have none. i will see your final paragraph as I write this, and it is likewise incorrect. you're think to initiate a clean paragraph/line while a distinctive individual speaks. If i became right into a writer or agent, i might probable seem on the 1st sentence and toss your manuscript. My in straightforward terms propose to you, is to examine some issues approximately grammar, communicate, and something with regards to writing! you will choose some severe, substantial, help in case you elect to be an author. do no longer toss this tale, nonetheless. save writing it for a on an identical time as until eventually you study that what you're writing is crap. it is going to furnish help to swap right into a greater effective author.
2016-10-08 02:24:19 · answer #2 · answered by vanderbilt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this is a good book, but you need to explain why she was having this dream. does it have to do with the reading? you did a great job in detail, because i could totally envision it, but you do need to elaborate on the character, why she fell in love with reading. is there something sentimental about it? why did she have the dream? what was the dream about in the first place before the creatures were cheering her? other than that, it is good work.
2006-07-19 06:00:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a Thesaurus, so you have less redundancy. don't know where this is going, but better fix on an age group early, spell check will do you no good, if you do not know the meaning of knew/new...what's the importance of the bookmark? does the book being open have meaning? keep working on it.
2006-07-19 05:59:21 · answer #4 · answered by curious115 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it gives you pleasure to write carry on. But if you want the truth it is pretty bad. If you are serious about writing for an audience, you need to read all you can and as many different genres. study grammar and sentence construction, learn to spell and punctuate, take some writing classes etc. Then think who am I writing for and fix your story to that audience
2006-07-19 09:15:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It has something sweet inside. It reminded me of the lullabies when I was a child. It does have feeling, imagination. I don't know what comes next, but if you free your mind I'm sure that you can find something very interesting to continue. Maybe you have already found it.
2006-07-19 06:31:58 · answer #6 · answered by klodjana82 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are very creative and have promise but need to devote much time and energy to learning English.
2006-07-19 21:12:01 · answer #7 · answered by darleya 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like the wizard of oz
im into dialougue and
i plan to b a filmwriter
this could b good for a children's movie
2006-07-19 06:30:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it has potential but it needs a little work. Keep it up!
2006-07-19 06:10:10 · answer #9 · answered by Dara K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok you are descriptive but do you have a story line is this going to go anywhere.
2006-07-19 06:00:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋