My boyfriend cheated on me, what should I do?

Question

Here's the story. I'm 19 and he's 18, we've been dating for 2 yrs. In April we celebrated our 2 yr anniversary and the very day after that I found out through Myspace that he's been cheating on me for the past 7 months with this 15 yr old girl. I emailed her and met up with her. We ambushed him and we all talked. He told me later on that he only cheated on my because he couldnt stand the arguements, oh and he took her virginity. He tells me he loves me more than her. He said to trust him and wait for him because he didnt want to hurt her so I just had to bear with it and i did. Finally last month he broke up with her. But i still cant stop thinking about her with him. When Im with him I keep seeing her face, and I even dream about them being together. Im so lost now, I feel upset and depressed all time, but I love him or at least i think i do. We've been through so much together and I really dont want it to end this way. Please help me . Thank you.

I have read everyone's answers and I really thank you for those who took time to help me out. This a rough time for me and its really nice to know that even strangers can make you feel better. And in conclusion I have decided most of you are right, I just really wanted to try my best and work things out, but I guess there's not much more I can do. And yes everything does happen for a reason. Thanks everyone.

Answer 1

get a real man who's over 25!

Answer 2

Hey,

First stop feeling so upset and depressed. You have not done anything wrong except loving this guy.
What does the guy mean by saying that he went behind a 15 yr old girl just cos he couldnt stand arguments. I can understand if it was just once that he cheated on you, but it wasnt once..it was continuously for 7 months....If he loved you & he was serious why couldn't he just try to solve this problem of his by talking to you about it..Need he have gone to another girl ? And that to a 15 yr old girl? There need be no doubt that the girl is going thro a very traumatic stage right now..& she is still an adolescent. Analyse now what you define about love? Just becos u ve gone thro a lot together dosent mean that u should be with him. I always believe in giving a second chance to people who are really worth it. But the question here is do u think that he's really worth it?? Think about it.

Answer 3

Here's the thing, he may have only been using her but he betrayed your trust. Trust is something that has to be earned and now you will find that you'll always remember what he did. Two years is a long enough time to know if it's real love or not. And if he really loved you no amount of arguing would drive him to cheat. He should have tried to work things out instead. You are both young and have your whole lives ahead of you. You deserve to be treated with respect and he obviously doesn't. If you're fighting all the time it can't be that great of a relationship to start with. Why don't you accept all the great times you may have had together and treasure those memories, but you have to decide for yourself if you believe he'll be faithful now. It sounds like your subconscious is telling you something. Listen to your heart. You know that you deserve better than what he did to you. Be Strong and tell him that you deserve better and either he becomes that man or you'll go find a better man.

Answer 4

Once a cheater is always a cheater. I doint think you should be with him. yeah you had good times. But think about it. he was cheating on your for 7 months. He lied to you. I mean it's makes you think if he really loves you. Hes just scared to be alone and wans control over something.
My e cheated on my and I stil think about it until this day how he did me wrong. And I can't get that image out of my head. I didnt see him with my eyes cheap but I couldn't go on with the relationship without thinking about that other b!thch. It;s normal for you to see her when you are with him. And it's always going to be like that trust me. You might have forgiven him. But you will never forget. The best for you to do is let go.

I know it's hard to let go. Because 2 years is something. But when he cheats and didn't tell you. that is just wrong. You are not in an honest relationship. I know it's really hard to end things but it's not going to work out if he lied to you before. what make you think he wont do it again. He took you for a fool. This is not a healthy relashionship and you know it. You should not be affraid to call it quits. You are dying inside. you dont want to be with a man that makes your stomach turn everytime.
I have a hard time trusting guys now. But I deal with it. It takes a lot out of me to give out.

At the same time i'm glad it happened. (got cheated on) eventhough it hurt so bad. It made me a stronger person thoughout the whole experience. I didn't get over it until months. we were together for about 2 years too. You have to learn from this. And avoid getting hurt again.
You might have been thru a lot within the 2 years. But it will never be the same. the past is the past don't use it as an excuse. You can still be good friends. Just not lovers.

Answer 5

Well, this is really tough. Not very many girls would stick it out like you have. But if you are not able to get over his cheating as many many of us could not, then you need to get out. That's the plain and simple truth. No one can tell you to just leave if you are able to forgive and forget and move on, but we all know the chances of him doing it again are high. Especially if his reason was arguments between the two of you (which is stupid that he would sleep with someone else to get away). If he runs to escape your arguments...then you will only keep arguing and that will lead him away again. Be strong in either decision. You are still very young and love changes over time. I would be much happier if i left a guy like this and found someone who worked things out with me and didn't find sleeping with an underage girl a solution to our problems. I don't commend you for staying, but I do for your strength. Do what you can to be happy, if it is to stay and work it out then take your chances but be strong. If you leave, don't ever turn back and be a beautiful independent woman that some man will never think twice about leaving or deceiving. Take care of yourself and be careful.

Answer 6

If he cheated he's going to do it again and again and again and again. I am telling you this from experience. they tell you they love you, they tell you they wont' do it again, and that it was a mistake. BUt really, they don't. they are selfish and have no respect for us. Once you go there, there's no going back. he already planted that seed, and no matter what he does, or how much you try to trust him, it will alwyas be there. cause you will always be wondering if he really is where he tells you he is at. you will always be wondering what he's doign when you are not around. NO MATTER what. I been there, i know how you feel. You need to move on and drop him! throw away anything that reminds you off him, cut off any communication. Don't fall for his act, cause he'll do it again to you. please listen! i was there, and i forgave that guy, and guess what? later i got pregnant and i went throught what seem like hell. Dont' do it. Stop now before is too late! you will thank yourself later and be glad. i know is so hard right now and there will be weak times. you deserve better. i wish i had realized that before.

Answer 7

Personally I think he really does love you but if someone really loves someone else then why cheat cause all it does is weaken the relationship. If I were you I would just dump him because if he did this once than what stops him from doing it again.
You guys can still love each other without being in a boy friend girl friend relationship. I think you should break up with him but still remain in a good friendship.

Answer 8

Look, I was in your exact situation and it was never better until I was out of it. It is intimidating and it hurts but you need to leave him. What he did to you is one of the crappiest things a person can do to another person he claims he's in love with. He just wanted everything he could get. You are young enough that you will meet many more people. I met a few more after that jerk I dated and it paid off. I am now marrying someone who respects me way more than that jerk ever did. If you find the strength to move on (which you really need to do...AND YOU KNOW IT) you will thank yourself in the future.

Know this: HE WILL PROBABLY DO IT AGAIN NO MATTER WHAT HE SAYS! BELIEVE THAT!

Answer 9

You both are still too young to be playing GROWN UP games anyways. You could wait around and wait for him to do it again...or...you can tell him to take a running leap off a short pier ...NOW. You are still so young, why waste your life on somebody who is already showing traits of being a First Class idiot? You have some living to do...do it wisely...or regret not doing
it later on. You are 18....I am 57......need I tell you how many times a guy has told me that lie too? It was only last year that GOD brought a real true love into my life. I guess being Christian has a lot to do with {we both are}. You use self respect honey, because until God Himself finds you the right guy...you HAVE to respect YOU.
Nobody else will...Get a grip of your life...NOW!

Answer 10

dump that fool, why are you messing around with a young, stupid 18 year old, anyway! Although idiotic, immature men come in all ages - you need to be by yourself for a while to sort yourself out, even if it takes years. Once you complete that, find an OLDER more MATURE man!

Good Luck!

Rule ---> never date a guy younger than you, and never give him time ti dump anyone and stick around, geesh. If you would take that from a youngin, an older man will have you bouncing off the wall.

Answer 11

I know this may seem harsh but by the sounds of it he didnt stay with her because he didnt want to hurt her because what about your feelings that he didnt mind hurting while he was cheating on you? I've been cheated on in the past and the majority of blokes once you let them get away with it once they will do it to you again! You've got to sit and think about it hard!! because if you decide to stay with him but cant get over what he has done to you then it will start to tear you up inside and hurt more than if you left him! Plus you may find that if you have an argument you might bring up what he has done which will push you further apart! Hope this helps!! and good luck.