When I suggest a plan, my wife can only reply, "I don't know. I'll have to wait and see." This drives me crazy.
2006-07-19 04:47:38 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Umm - opposites attract. It depends on what type of plan you are talking about. If it is to do something important then instead of suggesting tell her you have made an appointment with so and so to get it done. If it is not important like we eat breakfast at 7:00am then at 7:30am we go to get groceries then don't make a plan just go with the flow. Compromise is the best some times plan (when important) other times go by the seat of your pants.
2006-07-19 04:53:55 · answer #1 · answered by middle aged and love it 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I agree with Sasha. Also, I would suggest telling your wife how you feel. Tell her how important it is to you to plan and ask her if you two could find a middle ground. Maybe she could have some time to wait and see and still give you an answer in a reasonable time. Ask her why she feels the need to not plan things. Maybe she's afraid or something. See if you can find out why. Maybe that will help you come up with a solution. If you she doesn't want to change, you might just have to accept it.
2006-07-19 11:55:05 · answer #2 · answered by sharbysyd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it long term stuff that involves both of you? If so, that's tough! Can you talk to her and tell her how you feel when there is no plan? Keeping it at "I feel" statements is often beneficial as it allows the other spouse to empathize more with you. Maybe telling her that you love her and want to build a life with her and that involves a plan...that may make her feel important to you and she may try to work with you more. If you don't think that stuff will work, you have to ask yourself why she is this way. Is it her personality? Could it be her feeling toward the marriage? And I know you didn't want this answer, but talk to her and ask her. There is something at the root of this more than she doesn't want to do it. Maybe a financial planner or life coach or couples therapy will help. Good luck to you!
2006-07-19 12:57:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When the time comes around, does she usually do what it is you suggested? If so, then go ahead and make the plans and tell her but don't expect her to commit there and then. Or make the plans and don't tell her until right beforehand.
For as much as you can't stand hearing "I don't Know" it probably drives her just as crazy when you make plans and ask her if she can do it.
2006-07-19 11:55:47 · answer #4 · answered by married2004 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she won't give you and answer, then make the plans and tell her what the plan is. She won't have a choice at that point and will have to go along with you. Most women like a man to make a decision and follow through with it. Good luck!
2006-07-19 12:12:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what? You married her and must have known that before you did. Just make your plans, tell her what your doing in plenty of time and she'll either be there or she won't. You can't live your life waiting for her to wait and see and she isn't going to change so carry on.
2006-07-19 11:51:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does she often have a hard time making decisions? If she's anything like me it's because she's not very confident in her abilitly to make good choices, and she wants to please you.
Here's what you do. When she does make a decision, praise it as such a good idea. (helps her build confidence in her abiltity to make choices). Ask her to fill small decision making responsibilities - tell her to choose a restaurant to go to etc. Send her to pick out a movie...she'll get the hang of it. I've been getting better at it anyhow.
Best wishes.
2006-07-19 11:55:06 · answer #7 · answered by daisyk 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she does not mind you doing the planning, maybe you can be the planner and she can follow your plan. I know I am not the planner int this house and it works fine for me!
2006-07-19 11:52:40 · answer #8 · answered by paintingj 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there isnt anything you can do!!!! my husband and his ENTIRE FAMILY are the same way!!! I've asked his mother and dad and sister to come to our new home and eat and stay a while...and they always say welll i dont know.....i'll have to see whats goign on..so i cancel all my plans only to find out they've decided not to come ! UGH!
2006-07-19 11:56:24 · answer #9 · answered by Nikki B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would go ahead and plan. Don't give up things you want to do or look farward to because you are different in that respect.
2006-07-19 12:16:13 · answer #10 · answered by grudgrime 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋