how do I know if my husband still loves me even though he left me.?

Question

my husband left me and my children. I could someone just shut off there feelings like that. He is very angry at me about something, and will not give me any explanation why. The only thing he keeps saying is that I do for my family and not him. I think he is seeing someone else, Im not sure. The signs are all there. I have been with this man for 14yrs of marriage and plus he was my highschool first love. He gave me no signs of leaving. I came home one weekend from my daughters skating competition, and he started giving me the cold shoulder, then the next thing you know he left. I am so hurt and devestated I dont know what to do. He is a very hard person to talk too. I think he wants to see me fail, so I can go running back to him for help, not sure though. You think all the years Ive known him I would at least know what he feeling! But I dont. How can I get back the love of my life.................

Answer 1

Sweetie, is he really the love of your life? Would you really want to hire him for that job? Someone that plays mind games with you, wants to see you fail, and is jealous of your children? I was married to a very mentally abusive man. They have no reason for the things they do. They like the game of watching you scurry around to "fix" things and jump through hoops to reach them. Surprise his sorry butt by cutting him loose. The love of your life doesn't make you feel this way and you didn't do anything wrong he did......so why are you the one having sleepless nights about making things right? You have kids to think about. Give them a strong image of a woman and a good example of what to expect from a loving safe marriage. You only have one body, life and soul and if you don't care for it no one else will. I wish you all the best. May God bless you and keep you well! Good Luck!

Answer 2

If he left you and won't tell you why then it is hard to believe he really loves you. A man who loves his wife doesn't run away, he stays and fights for that relationship. If he won't tell you why I don't think there is anything you can do. It takes two people working together to make a marriage. At some point you are going to have to consider divorce and moving on with your life rather than living it stuck on hold just because he is mad. I agree, there is a good chance that this is about something he has done like an affair more than what you have done.

Answer 3

Carol S, the word's you typed are so clear to hear that i could feel the pain you are going through. Sometimes people can't express what they want like your husband. It's very hard to know a relationship could end without explanations, but as a mother we need to let go of that pain and move on for the children, they should see mom happy. Don't give in to what he wants your better off trying to succeed with your children and keep your head high. I'm proud that your successful and a single mother.

Answer 4

I think you answered your own question. You say all of the signs are there of him having an affair. If he loved you, then whatever he might have been upset about, he would have told you. He has no explanation for leaving abruptly so he comes up with the paethetic excuse of you doing more for your family than him. It sounds as if he had been planning to leave for some time and finally got the courage to do it. Did you ask him if there was somebody else prior to his leaving? If so, he might have thought he was going to get caught so leaving was easier than facing you. If you really want him back at any cost, then please don't go running to him, calling him, asking other people about him. Act like you could care less and if he has any feelings for you at all, you will get him back. Do NOT be clingy, don't use your kids to get to him. Act cold and indifferent. Men tend to not want what comes so easily to them. Good luck in whatever you decide and big hugs going out to you!!

Answer 5

Normally I would say that if he left you then it's time to move on and stop letting him rake you over the coals with the idea that he might still love you and might come back to you.

Except for one thing. You said your daughter is in a skating competition. Is that figure skating? Does that mean that you spend the majority of your time away from home?

Seems to me he want's you to make a choice between your future with him and your daughters future. Frankly anyone who would ask you to make that choice isn't worth worrying about.

If I were you I'd write him off, however I am not you. So you might want to ask him if he would consider marriage counseling. Then he makes the choice. If he says no, then it's over and move on.

Answer 6

How can you believe that you love somebody and yet have no idea what has been going on inside their head for 14 years? How can you love somebody you don't even know?

I will guess that your husband has found somebody that has connected with his true inner self. Perhaps he is angry because he has been with a partner for so many years that could not understand him. His anger may be with himself but is being projected on you.

That's what happened to me. I was not in a bad marriage. I was in the wrong marriage.

Answer 7

The way he went about all this is wrong. If he was having problems, then you, the one he is supposed to love, should have discussed them with you. Sounds like to me that he is up to something and possibly someone else in his life. You should have someone follow him and find out what he is up to secretly. If he loves you he wouldn't have separated himself from his family. Is he having troubles at work? What do his friends say? You can e-mail me if you would like.

Answer 8

He cares for you. He would not love you anymore a minimum of no longer how a guy might want to love his spouse of 20 years. He would not opt to damage you and thinks that is easing your discomfort. it is not. He would not opt to be the undesirable guy and only shrink it off with you so he's leaving it as a lot as you. so that you want to make your recommendations up if that is the way you go with to stay. Has he said divorce? have you ever? again you want to make your recommendations up the way you go with to proceed with him. taking section in video games and attempting to study indications will no longer help you, if he's not residing with you and attempting to win you again by using shifting in and breaking off this courting then you honestly favor to position it down for him. further upload: He sees you once per week because he would not opt to be the undesirable guy and this makes him experience extra proper about what he's doing to you. He only sees you once per week. If he were in love with you does no longer he opt to be certain you extra? Is he inquiring for forgiveness? Asking back?

Answer 9

First thing you do is don't jump on him for are you seeing someone???? Just call him said Do you want to talk about it? I can't read your mind. I really want you to be straight with me and tell me. I would like to know because sometime you are so hard to talk to. If you just open up more and tell me. You are my first love in high school to now for 14 years. If you think it not going to get any better talking about this or anything. If you think seeing someone will solve the plm? That fine, I do want to work it out and make things better. You have to tell me, If you can't tell me How can I make it better?

My wife tells me this Honey how will I know if I don't know what going on and if you not telling me and I can't read your mind. So I started to tell her and she like oh wow my fault I didn't even notice that. and step at a time and got much better and now way better than before and now I can talk to her about anything. and now we are married fo r9 years.

Try to tell him Hey I am here if you need to talk to me. I know it not going to better over night. we can do step one a time. So, pls feel free to talk to me. I really would like to listen how you feel.

I hope this works.

Answer 10

I feel for you and your children. I don't think he loves you though....if he did he would care about you having closure to him leaving.... You didn't do anything, so you are gonna have to file for divorce and get some child support and alimony.... You have to do for your family, just like the creep said...you will have a better time doing for your kids and not having to worry about him.