About a month ago, she returned from a week long trip to Bonaroo and told me that she believed that someone else was her soulmate. A man that she's known for 13 years! I've got a lot of frustration, anger, and sadness that I'm dealing with because of this situation.
However, I do have some hope that she'll want to be with me. She's said that she needs some time to "figure out what she's doing with her life". This time will include a trip to see this man who lives 1400 miles away. Clearly, I am choice number 2. As much as it hurts to know this, I still want to be a supportive, loving part of her life.
I'm working hard at just being her "friend" right now. However, I also am sad and a bit obsessed with her and I hate that feeling.
How do I deal with my own feelings, emotions, and life and remain a supportive, loving person to her?
2006-07-19 04:22:20 · 6 answers · asked by jkomisar 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I've already told her I'll wait until I hear what her decision is before moving on. And, at the same time, I'm working on myself. Exercising, looking for a better job, spending time with my 2 kids, etc.
I suppose I'm looking for validation of my own self worth from her. The reality is that there isn't anyone who can validate my self worth, except me.
Thank you all for your kind answers, BTW.
2006-07-19 04:40:48 · update #1
thats a tough situation to be in!
I think that you should tell her that you prefer not to discuss her trip and her search for whatever she is looking for....let her know that it hurts you too much to hear about it! tell her that you want to be there for her and want to support her but dont let her hurt you more than she is by sharing her details in that area!
no one deserves that! being choice number 2 is never fun,I know been there myself! I suggest though that you try to find YOUR soul mate,yea it is hard to get away from the person you want to be the one,but why shoud u be #2?
it takes time and alot of effort to stop yourself from being # 2 but it'll b worth it! I know because Im now with someone that never puts me second
you can find that too! just tell yourself that you are worth it and show her you are..ya never know maybe if you dont let her know how bad you have it for her by showing her your pain ,she may just realize you are her soul mate after all? good luck
2006-07-19 04:32:49 · answer #1 · answered by adc7492 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just turn the tables on her, and tell her you're breaking up with her.
Do you really want to be with a girl who wants someone else?
You're #2, like the other person said. She's just stringing you along until she finds out if the other relationship will work out.
You don't need that...grow a spine, and get on with life. Go out on dates, work on you...work out, etc etc. Be a catch the next woman won't think twice about.
Your gf might come running back when you break up with her...but don't give in. Make her prove over time that she really does want you as her soulmate.
2006-07-19 04:32:07 · answer #2 · answered by Nightwish 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, it's ok and completely natural to feel the way you do. Secondly, thank goodness you haven't already married her. Use this time to find out more about yourself and what you want from life and from a life partner.
I can't really tell much about you from four short paragraphs but you sound like a decent guy. Someone out there will find you to be their soul mate; however, you may have to be patient and wait to find them. For the love of all that's holy, don't settle.
2006-07-19 04:27:59 · answer #3 · answered by Saphira 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just give her space and do your own thing. If she changes her mind and you still want her so be it, but if there is any difference in the equation so be it too. Life is too short to live on maybes.
2006-07-19 04:29:18 · answer #4 · answered by rastus7742 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should talk to my husband, I think he feels the same way.
2006-07-19 04:26:53 · answer #5 · answered by a.kranz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get an answer from her soon or dump her.
2006-07-19 05:38:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋