I'm married, but I'm in love with someone else?

Question

Married and I'm not happy with spouse, but I do love another, what should I do? Is this normal

Answer 1

I think you know the answer, but you seek for validation....... yes, get divorced.

Of course it's normal...... and irresponsible

Answer 2

Normal? I dont know. I think you should really think about this person your suposedly in love with. Are you really in love or just infatuated with him/her? Do you stilll love your husband? Do you two have children together? All these things need to looked at when thinking of moving on. Have you told your spouse you were unhappy? If you havent told him maybe you should talk to him and see what is up. Maybe he is stressed and doesnt realize it is affecting you guys relationship. Maybe he doesnt know that he isnt making you happy. I am sure if you tell him you are unhappy he will do what he can to try and fix it. that is if he loves you. if he loves you will he put fourth the effort. if not then forget him/her. But, if he doesnt know that your not happy there is nothing he can do to make you happy.

As far as the other person...Does he/she know that you are married? If so, what does that say about his or her morals? If i was that person and i dated someone who was married and cheating i would think that they might do it to me. How does the peron feel about you being married? Why do you love this new person? Do they do thing that your spouse used to do?

There is a lot you need to do. But, first you need to tell your spouse you are unhappy. See what he/she says and then go from there. if they are willing to make you happy, then stay. That is what marriage is about trials and tribulations. Working it out for better or worse.

then you need to decide whether or not to tell your spouse you have been cheating. I wouldnt advise you do this until after you tell him your unhappy. Maybe even a little while after. Me perosnally i dont know if i would even tell him at all. But honesty is a part of marriage too. so eventually you would have to tell him.

I hope my advice is helpful. Good luck and maybe you can answer the questions i asked and that can help me to give you more advice on your particular situation. Good Luck!

Answer 3

I think it's normal to question your own happiness. But -- maybe you should look at what your feelings really are. Can you picture yourself apart from your spouse? How would you feel if you didn't have him/her in your life? You may indeed love another, but it doesn't mean that it will work out.

Remember the old saying... "the grass is always greener....". Sometimes things seem more attractive/fun/appealing because you can't have them.

If you even remotely love your spouse, try counseling first. If you don't love him/her.... then you should let them free.

Answer 4

First, is the only reason why you're unhappy due to the love you feel for someone else or is it because of something else? You owe it to your husband to see if you can work things out. If you can't ,then leave. Life is to short to be unhappy. I am in the same situation as you. I love someone else and am not in love with my husband. The first thing I did was open myself up and see what I wanted in life. What was missing and why I was so unhappy. I love someone else but even if I leave my husband that doesn't mean I will be with this person. You have to be complete with your self and know what you want and go get it. I have decided to get a divorce but because of me and what I want my life to be. Not because of the other guy. If it is meant to be then that will fall in to place later after I get on my feet. I never should have gotten married, I had doubts but I was told it was normal but it's not. You will find your way just listen to your gut feeling of what is right for you. Do not cheat on your husband make sure that part of your life is settled before you involve someone else. Good luck.

Answer 5

no - this is not normal. You need to talk with your spouse and get into marriage counseling. You need to find out what went wrong and if it can be fixed. With a 3rd party in the mix, only more issues will happen. Please - give your marriage a chance first. You may end up making the biggest mistake of your life. Have all the answers before you hop away.

Answer 6

It is normal for married people to develop crushes. The issue here is that your not happy in your marriage. You need to decide if you want to work on your marriage and try to improve it or if your ready to give up and get a divorce. Either way right now is not the time to get involved in another relationship. You need to deal with the one your in now by either fixing it or ending it. If you end it then you can consider another relationship.

Answer 7

No it is not normal for people to commit adultery but it does happen. And you should leave this other guy alone since you love him so much you should handle things with your husband and get back to him when you are no longer a married woman. Because the love that you are giving right now is a selfish one.

Answer 8

I do think that you should talk to your spouse about your feelings, if there is no way you can work out your marriage, then you go your seperate ways. Don't start the next chapter before you close the first one.

Answer 9

You should let your spouse know and then you need to figure out what to do. It is very hurtful when spouses find their mates cheating, so be bold enough to tell your spouse what is going on.

Answer 10

Marriage takes 2 people to work it out.Nothing comes easily in life.Ask urself that whether u'll be sure that u'll be happy if u just walk out from this marrige & start ur life with the new person in ur life.What makes u sure of that?Don't try to run.u can run but u can never hide.The rest its upto u.

Answer 11

if you don't love your spouse you shouldn't be in the relationship. i have no idea what this feels like or how difficult it will probably be for you but ... for BOTH of you, it's healthiest to end it. loving someone else and maybe having an affair will destroy the relationship even further.