How do I convince my girlfriend I do enough when i pay all the bills & do all the cooking & bought her a horse

Question

I work all the hours that god sends and she spends her time playing and yet I feel guilty for not doing enough.
Thank God i've gotten that off my chest

Answer 1

Hell, you've convinced me.

Answer 2

You need a new girlfriend. Some women can't be pleased no matter what. Keep paying the bills, but don't give her any money. Does she have a job? She is not your wife who is staying at home with the kids...tell her to get a job or get out. You are being used by an ungrateful female. This may be harsh, but I've been the user and I've been used. Neither is good for the soul.

Answer 3

If anyone should be doing any convincing, it's her. She should be trying to convince you to keep her. I've been in a situation like this before, but my self-esteem has built to the point I have learned from my mistakes, & won't do that again. One of my ex-girlfriends couldn't hold down a job, skipped almost every other day of college because she "didn't feel good", & wanted to spend all her time doing stupid worthless arts & crafts projects & designing web pages for her friends. I didn't like losing her at first, but now I'm so glad she's some other guy's burden & not mine, I can't believe how grateful I am God didn't let me marry her. He protected me from making a BIG mistake.
Personally, if it were me in your situation, I'd sell the horse, kick out the girlfriend, & tell her not to come back until she can get a job & pay half the bills herself, & start helping with some chores. Of course now, I wouldn't allow myself to get into that situation. I look for career-minded women who have goals for the future, & avoid the slackers at all costs. Trust me, bud, there are decent women out there who would absolutely love to have a guy like us, & you just have to be patient & put things in God's hands, & when the time is right, He'll bring you a girl who will treat you like gold. Don't settle for second-best. You can do better.
On a final note, don't feel guilty. All guilt is is resentment turned inward. It's easier for you to feel guilty than it is to face the truth & resent her for not helping you. Once you allow yourself to face how bad a situation you are in, & how you are being used, you won't be able to help but resent her for mistreating you in this fashion. Place the blame where it belongs, not on yourself.

Answer 4

You sound like a very nice man! You may have to tell her you do a lot for her; tell her that many times a week. Sometime people need to be reminded to know about something thoroughly. One thing into keep in mind is don't say it to much because you could annoy her, but just enough so she realizes it. Also make sure you don't tell her this with the motive of expecting something good in return. Instead tell her it with the motive of simply of feeling good about your self about being loving and caring about her.

If you feel that your mate is being spoiled simply withdraw a little bit. A healthy relationship has balance.

Answer 5

lol shes stupid if she doesnt think u do enough or if u dont think u do enough, im a single teenage parent now because my fiancee wouldn't get a job and pay the bills and i was about to sit there and let my baby live like that. i love him alot but i did whats right for my baby not me. so if u ever think ur not doing enough even after all u do then u need to recognize that ur doing more than enough and she isn't doing anything and even though u love her you need to find someone that will share the duty of relationships with u instead of u do all the work and she go play

Answer 6

Hi,

I'm curious how old you are. I'm 51, been married twice and have had many girlfriends. One thing you will eventually learn is that your idea of doing enough willl NEVER meet the expectations of a wife or girlfriend. You can just do the best you can, try to be the best husband, boyfriend, father or lover that you can be, always support your woman and never cheat. Whether she's content or not at least you can sleep easy knowing you've done your best for her.

Answer 7

Wow! I have a great idea I'll send her my boyfriend... who is so pro-woman he seems to think I should work all the hours in the day, pay all of the bills and cook dinner so he can fish when he likes and spend what money he earns enjoying the summer by the seacoast... they can hop on her horse, he can catch 'em their dinner and when they finally get what they were gettin' they can gallop on back to us.

Answer 8

Hmm.. what is she doing that makes you feel like you aren't doing enough? Or is that your own conscious telling you that?
Paying bills, cooking and buying her gifts (horses) does not relly constitue doing much at all. My dad only exsisted in my life AS gifts and money, what I would've given for him to be around to spend time together. In my relationships with men now, I much preferr someone who will spend time on a hike with me or eat cheap take-out at home and watch DVDs than someone who takes me to expensive resturants and buys me jewlery...
With that said, I think if she is making you feel guilty you need to communicate with her 1 what her reasoning is and 2 that you don't appreciate it (she should be talking to you if she has a problem rather than making you feel sh*tty through manipulation/actions). If you analyze her behavior and she hasn't really done anything to make you feel guilty, you just simply, feel guilty- than you should look at the fact that maybe you aren't there enough for her, possibly emotionally, sexually, or time-wise. There is alot more to a partnership than money and gifts and home cooked meals..

Answer 9

Are you kidding? She should already be convinced. I would love for someone to be that good to me. She obviously does'nt realize how good she has it. Why don't you try telling her that since things aren't working, she needs to start paying her share. Either she will throw a tantrum, or she will change. Honestly though, if she throws a tantrum and tries to make you feel guilty. She probably knows exactly what she's doing. Taking advantage of YOU.

Answer 10

I'd move out for a while. When her bank account starts to dwindle, she's living on microwave meals or take-outs and her horse is in danger of being sold because she cant make ends meet, maybe she will realise how good you have been to her and stop taking you for granted. You've got nothing to feel guilty about!

Answer 11

Hey dude,
You don't have to convince her at all. Do that for me, and I'll move to live with you, perform varied and sundry sexual favors, be properly appreciative, and give you foot massages. I could use more time to write, and I love riding.
If I can have a show-jumper and time to ride... words don't express the joy. It's amazing how appreciative you get of other people's work when you're making a living for yourself.
Trying cutting her off completely.