Should friends date your old flames?

Question

I had dated a man a few years back and we lost touch. Fine he came back into the picture and i had introduced him to one of my friends but then they started to like each other. I said ok that they could date, but then I went back on my word. I lost her as a friend and i also lost him as a friend. I think that line should not be crossed. i lost her because she could not beleive that i had gone back on my word.

And to make things worse he dumped her and left with out a trace.lmfao

Answer 1

If you are no longer dating them and you've given permission, then I'm sorry to say I think you were wrong to go back on your word.

Also, if you have no interest in being with that person, why deny a friend the opportunity to be happy???

Answer 2

I always had a strict policy: NEVER date a guy that has dated one of my friends!
Nothing stirs the flame again like seeing an ex with someone new. It just gets ugly all the way around. It's not worth losing your friends over!
BUT, since your friend was considerate enough to ask you first, and you gave your blessing, then it was not right for you to recant. That was disrespectful to your friend. I would try apologizing to her and just dealing with your feelings. Is this really worth losing your friend over?

Answer 3

I really don't think so.Usually,when people break up, there is still some feeling between them and they resent their friends having a relationship with their ex.............or they feel that the friend will be on the ex's side ........or the whole dog in the manger thing where they don't want anyone else to have what they had and don't want or can't have anymore.

Answer 4

People are split on this one. I believe that you should never date your friends' or families' ex boyfriends, because no matter what "permission" is given, it will always lead to awkward situations. In this case, you were trying to be a good friend, maybe noble, by telling your friend it was okay, when I suspect that you weren't 100% okay with the idea. It's always best to go with our feelings with friends and family, people we can trust.

Answer 5

Some cases that may be true...in your case you gave your friend the go ahead..so taking it back was only selfish of you...many circumstances may not match you with Mr. Right but lead you to someone who knows him and as fate may have it...because of one bf, you've met Mr. Right..each case is different than the other...so some work out ...some don't....but you'll never know unless you try.

Answer 6

Well a real friend always believe in there friends if she doesn't trust you just leave both of them alone and you find some good friends to hang with and that will trust you.

Answer 7

no it's to complicated even though you guys are not together dose not mean that once upon a time you all didn't have feeling for each other and no matter how many years and how many relationships it still hurts to see some one you liked happy with someone else and its even harder to deal with when that person is suppose to be your friend i admire your courage for admitting to them that your were not okay with there relationship

Answer 8

I hate when friends act like that, an old flame! come on. You have to have your main boyfriend thats off limits but anybody else, any old flame anyone can touch them who cares. Your acting jealous and they both know it.

Answer 9

I THINK THAT IF YOU GAVE THEM THE OK, THEN YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO GO BACK ON IT. FEELINGS WILL ALWAYS BE THERE, BUT YOU HAVE TO DECIDE WHAT IS MORE IMPORTANT AND OLD FLAME OR A GOOD FRIEND.

Answer 10

first question? why did you lie about it in the first place?If your not OK with it,you should have told her so.second:can you fix what you broke?If you can't,understand it's your fault they are no longer friends with you and learn from the mistake you made and move on,you have no reason to be mad at them cause your the one who introduced them.