She is only 12 years old, I caught her on the phone talking to a boy.. when I asked her in regards to whom she was talking to she lied she to? She said it was her bestfriend Alyssa. TheBoy is a friend of my sons' he is 13 years of age . It is a rule, a known rule NO TALKING ON THE PHONE TO BOYS!!! I have no problem with her having friends of the oppisite sex.. just do not think it is wise to allow children this young to talk on the phone. I really think she likes this boy. Help !
2006-07-19 02:28:37 · 31 answers · asked by violet 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Well If that's your rule stand by it, but at this age you need to sit down with her and tell her about sex and let her know the does and dont .
Make sure you ask her about him and convince her to open up to you, build a strong relationship, but if continues to go against what your rules are in the house, punishment is needed
2006-07-19 02:35:59 · answer #1 · answered by The Truth 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If you skim through some of the (frankly frightening) questions that are posted on this site by 12-year-old girls, I think that you might be grateful she was (a) only talking on the phone and (b) to a boy her own age. Okay, she knowingly broke a rule and then she lied about it. But what she is doing is perfectly normal. She is simply exploring being a girl. I think you might like to sit down with her and renegotiate what she can and can't do in terms of boys. You're going to have to do it soon. She's going to be 13, then 14 ... ease up a little on the reins, give her a little trust and she won't feel she has to lie to you. B
2006-07-19 03:05:36 · answer #2 · answered by Bethany 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i talked on the phone to boys when i was 12..i was by no means a wild child as i have never been to a party in my life...i have been with the same guy since i was 13 years old and i am now 25 and we are married and have 1 little boy and another on the way....mothers have to choose there fights wisely..it is better to instill strong morals and values in her than stop her from doing the things that all of her friends are doing because she will dispise you for it...as long as you have brought her up correctly there is nothing to worry about in this situation...my friends mother wouldnt let her do anything and low and behold she was pregnant at 16 in high school...girls rebel when not given there own opportunity to make lifelong decisions on there own she has got to grow up sometime and if you dont let her try now it only gets worse for you...she will be going in to high school soon and believe me you are going to have to talk her out of a whole lot more things than a phone call...in other words if you pick at the little things you turn into the bad guy....good luck
2006-07-19 02:37:41 · answer #3 · answered by valerie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you AS HER PARENT (people seem to have forgotten that point) feel that she's too young to talk to boys on the phone, then stick to the rule. The biggest mistake you can make is to listen to others and tell you that your rules are out of hand or to harsh. I can see if you teaching her hate or even not allowing her to grow in some way, but not alone boys to call over (and she calling them) does not stunt child growth and development.
2006-07-19 04:58:37 · answer #4 · answered by King H 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi, your problem is very common and not so serious. Allow your daughter to make a decision herself without feeling forced to. get her to talk about the boy to you, so she thinks you are interested in HER opinion. She will open up and tell you all. she'll be happy to have someone showing interest in her opinion. When you establish this important link, then you can take over the role of a guide and advisor, using your friendship to persuade her towards a certain decision. It's not hard. She must be loved and feel that YOU love her. Then maybe the boy's love would not seem to be so important any more.
2006-07-19 02:38:33 · answer #5 · answered by onlyhuman 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Too restrictive. You'll end up pushing her into doing just what you DON'T want her to do, as a means of rebellion. Let her talk to boys on the phone. Establish an age she can date at. Explain to her your reasoning WHY. Do not use the "because I SAID so" line.
Otherwise, the way things are today, you'll have a pregnant 14 year old, just to SPITE you.
2006-07-19 02:33:01 · answer #6 · answered by Quietman40 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If u allow her to have guy friends than sorry to say she will find a way to talk to them on the phone if u like it or not.Girls have a mind set of their own. Boys r included in it.Once she turn 13 she will not listen more and more becuz of the way u r treatn her now so let her hav some space and it wont turn out to b a lot of trouble in the end.
2006-07-19 02:40:24 · answer #7 · answered by dagirl10149 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you are going to stay strict like that she will continue to push you away because she know her friends can talk to boys so she is going to say you are too controlling. all you can do is talk to your kids and allow there to be an open honest relationship, even if you have 30 minute discussion where anything said in that 30 minutes no one can get punished. make sure you all talk not just you one on one. another thing she'll go to older siblings before going to the parents so talk to them and stop trying to be strict otherwise you will lose you daughter and she'll be pregnant at a young age and wont be the person she can be
2006-07-19 03:07:58 · answer #8 · answered by Kandice 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a 12 yr old as well, and to me, if it's ok to have friends of the opposite sex, then why not talk on the phone?
Just don't let her do the 'bunker-down in her room w/the door closed' thing.
Let her talk on phones in common areas- the den, kitchen, hallway, places like that, so that she will have a tendency to keep the conversation 'nice', not too personal.
If you have given her a phone in her room, you may want to find a way to get the phone back, then make her earn her privacy, as well as eventually earning the phone in her room again.
I know we have to learn to trust them, but we must teach them how to be trustworthy- none of this comes for FREE!!!
Good luck!
2006-07-19 02:37:28 · answer #9 · answered by M J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just relax she is going to talk to boys eventually just make sure you keep the lines of communication open.... oh and as a piece of side advice.. make sure you are never shocked by what she tells you because I can almost guarentee before she is 18 she will probably either, start cutting herself, start having sex, start purging, develop an eating disorder, stop eating, or become clinically depressed and she needs to be able to come to you with that type of stuff ya know
2006-07-20 12:21:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're psycho. at school, she probably has more guy friends than girl friends. i could understand if she was like 7 or 8, but 12? in middle school, 75% chance her lockers going to be3 next to a boys. calm down. talk to her about him, and tell her it's okay that she was on the phone with a boy, but that you'd prefer that she hadn't. give her like a 10 minute limit per week to talk to him on the phone, and make her put it on speaker. this way, you can hear the conversation. if she likes him, she likes him. you can tell her not to, but you can't make her. and that's that. you have to let her have friends, of the same and opposite sex. and if you thinks she's going to go and have sex with him now that their friends, that's crazy. just take a moment to think about what i just said.
2006-07-19 02:49:03 · answer #11 · answered by pengwins_not_my_name 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋