Ladies, please read this?

Question

I love my wife with all my heart, but she is very overweight (I mean she has no figure at all because she is so big). She is really upset with me because our love making is not passionate and it is hard for me to be really passionate towards her because of her size. I have only ever told her that I love her but when she has asked why our love making is not passionate, I have explained to her that the more I can see of her figure, the more excited I get for her. I have never told her she was too big or anything like that (I would never do that). She still gets upset because our love making is not passionate enough and I don't know what to tell her anymore, I just keep saying the same thing and she still gets mad at me. What can I do?

Answer 1

First of all if your wife is very overweight, unless there is some medical reason for her condition, I would guess that she may suffer from an eating disorder. Overeating is an eating disorder. What accompanies an eating disorder is often depression. Support her in seeking some kind of professional help for this. Most importantly, is that if you really love her, you must love her unconditionally. Women have a better success rate with weight loss if they know their husbands or significant others love them no matter what.
As for you, our minds are one of the most powerful instruments of the sexual act. Close your eyes, use whatever fantasy gets you going and keep that spark alive. Thank goodness weight can be lost! My husband married me 60 pounds heavier than I am now and because I knew he loved me and found me sexy no matter what, I dealt with the issues I was hiding behind my weight, dealt with the accompanying depression and have maintained my weight loss for 6 years. Best of luck to you both.

Answer 2

Be honest with her just be tactful in doing so -- then reassure her that you love her and always will no matter what size she is or how much she ways. It is unhealthy to be over weight so tell her you are concern for her health. Offer to diet and exercise with her. But weight should not matter if you love her. Try focusing on why you love her and not her weight when making love. Passion comes from the hurt not physical attraction. I am glad to know there are some men out there that want to make their relationships work and love their wives so much they don't want to hurt their feelings or insult them. Good luck

Answer 3

Oh man, The only thing I know to do is...Maybe ask one of her best friends or one of her family members to say something to her about her weight. Be gentle and don't let the third party say anything about you wanting your wife to loose the weight. This may sound very strange but I know this to be true. If you want you could get one of your buddies to start taking a fancy to your wife. The reason I say that is because a women will start loosing weight when she falls for a man. Have you ever thought maybe that your wife is loosing her feeling for you. Maybe you should try to put that spark back where it belongs, in her heart and not on the stove. Good luck my friend and best wishes.

Answer 4

with a name like guy4laffs, I must say I am skeptical about your question, but....is your wife sensitive about her weight? Has she tried to lose weight or exercise? If she is happy with herself, then you being totally honest with her shouldn't make her mad. Has she always been overweight? I do think it is kind of shallow that you feel that way...but I would have to say that of myself as well...there were a couple of guys I dated that were very overweight, and I just couldn't imagine myself being with them sexually, even though the rest of the relationship could have been great! If she has tried, or wants to try to lose weight...first of all it needs to be for herself and her own health concerns, but you should try to get involved and be supportive...Maybe be her workout partner (even if it's not something you are interested in...remember...you will feel more attracted to her as a result, so her health won't be the only benefit). If you are concerned about how to approach her with this, you could try bringing up the health issues with being overweight, or maybe just throw it in if she happens to mentions something along those lines.

Answer 5

maybe i am going to seem out of line here. are you in love with your wife or the figure that your wife used to have? making love goes so far beyond the visual. i am not saying that having a killer bod ever hurt anything, but not having one should not affect the passion that you have for your woman. start depending on some of your other senses that are heightened during love making.

Answer 6

Do not say anything to her because she will resent you for it. Women never forget! She will only lose weight when SHE is ready to do it. Instead, start offering to help her cook, ask her to go on walks with you, join a gym together and then go workout together, etc.

One day, she will lose the weight. If you have been negative about her size in any way, she just may leave you once she has her slim, new body.

Answer 7

i think that you should be honest, but not mean with her. if you really love her like you say then you should tell her and you guys should talk. maybe the truth will help the situation and maybe it will make things worse, but the problem will only get worse if you keep it to yourself. think about it, the less attractive your wife becomes, the better the chance at you screwing some skinny ***** for no reason other than she can actually see her ankles.

Answer 8

Maybe encourage her to go for walks with you and encourage her to eat healthy food. Let her know you are concerned about her weight affecting her health and that you love her a lot and want her to be healthy and to live longer. Help her lose the weight with support and encouragement. And think about how much you love her when you make love, not her size.

Answer 9

you and your wife need to have a serious talk.now that you know what is the result even if you lied to her for her not to be angry or upset..then its time to tell her the truth..its the same thing anyway,
she gets mad bcoz she knows what you mean.she just finding her way out of the real question.one of the wife's job to their husband is to be fit physically and look pleasant infront of their hubby.many woman/wifes always ignore this type of situation.most of them they always think that "if my husband truly love me,he will accept me no matter how i am"...i agree.but theyre not sure if they can feed their man in full pleasure in bed which is one of the most important thing to a marriage life.If your wife concern for her self and your caring she must do something for herself..besides,if she is overweight one of the benefits she will get for your being concern and awareness is good for her health too.i wish she knew how lucky she was to have a loving husband like you.Most husband never tell what is missing specially on makinglove..communication is much important.Never cheat on how you feel when it comes to bed.you can only get the true passion of makinglove when you offer and give yourself completely to your partner.but if there is something bothering you everytime you do it with your wife,time will come that you will be tired of just keep on taking whats infront of you knowing that you know exactly what makes you satisfied....this is one of the reason why some hubby cheating with their wife..So ladies,better you think about this question...if i was your wife,wow! i will start to do something about my weight bcoz i definately agree to you that when you are physically on right weight....you can drive your man crazy in bed!!!!....duh!

Answer 10

I would probably talk to her about her weight and her health, just say you are worried about her health. I don't want to tell you to lie but if you push the health issue and have her go to the doctor, she may be motivated to lose more weight this way than if you tell her, "Look, I'll be attracted to you more if you lose weight."

I have kind of the same issue with my husband. Only I'm not concerned with his looks, that doesn't bother me, I'm genuinely worried about his health. He's 6'5" and 300 pounds which isn't too bad at that height but I'm still worried and want him to be alive and on this earth as long as possible!!!