My mom's frm a 3rd world country & she just will not conform to the American way of life which I have lived for almost 30 years. We alway butt heads when it comes to child care, health issues, independence (she feels that women can not survive without a man) and just EVERYTHING!!! PLS Help!!!
2006-07-19 02:10:55 · 15 answers · asked by phatsinglemom2 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Move out or kick her out. You aren't going to change her just like she is not going to change you. If you can't agree to disagree and just shut up about it, you will never be able to have any peace of mind.
2006-07-19 02:14:05 · answer #1 · answered by Blunt Honesty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how conservative people from the 3rd world country can be...
I think she just loves you and wants the best for you, but she doesn't know if you're happy just the way you are right now.
Well...american way of life is more open minded and sometimes it's just too hard to chew it all for her. Maybe you can give her more time to adjust to the situation here...
You can also show her that everything has changed and this is not a 3rd world country, that women are equal to men and that we are strong enough to survive without a man...if we want too
It'll take time for her to realise it...but if you try to convince her that there is nothing wrong about your way of life...I think she's slowly start to understand that you are happy with how things go right now...
2006-07-19 09:25:16 · answer #2 · answered by belle_chocolatiere 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun, It's your home, your rules. Just like when you lived with her as a child you had to obey her rules. Same applies to your mother. If she doesn't like it then she has to take her bags somewhere else. Don't let her take control of your life, that will not teach your children anything. Your mother should learn to appreciate what your doing for her. Stand firm and tell your mother this is your house, your rules, your country! It will be hard to do this. Things will go allot smoother when its done. It is so hard to have two controllers in the same house. So take back your game!
Best wishes!
2006-07-19 09:19:19 · answer #3 · answered by christy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know you are in a very difficult situation... mothers are so important... mine went into a nursing home yesterday because she is so ill and needs 24 hour care.. but she was never mentally or verbally abusive to me.. i think that some other arrangement should be made for your mother.. she is upsetting your home and you...is there not any body else she can go live with... you can not be comfortable in your own home with all this going on....i am sorry you are going through this and i hope that you can figure something out.. talking to her obviously does not help... tell her it is your home and that she needs to stop the way she is doing because it is upsetting your home and lifestyle...but other than what i have suggested i really do not know...good luck though...
2006-07-19 09:18:36 · answer #4 · answered by sanangel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her know you are grown and you've come this far without using her third world ways. Of course show much respect because she still is your mother but let her know it's your life and decision and you have to live and make them on your own. Doesn't mean she can't still be mommy even when you're over 30.
2006-07-19 09:16:07 · answer #5 · answered by ShawtyPhat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that you live a different life than her. You have a different culture. And that while you welcome her advice, it is your life, your children and YOU.. you are not her.. BUT on the other hand.. you have to respect that she is from another culture than you and to her.. the things that you are doing might seem really bad. Sit down with her and tell her that you understand where she is coming from, but she is in another country where the rules are different, and where things aren't the same. She has to respect you, but you have to respect her..
2006-07-19 09:13:23 · answer #6 · answered by Imani 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't need to take that kind of abuse. If she is so convinced a woman cannot live without a man, why is she living with you? You need to tell her if she will not respect your right to live as you want, she should not live with you.
2006-07-19 09:30:12 · answer #7 · answered by cross-stitch kelly 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can either spend the money with her and get mental health intervention of you need to part and move on with your life!
Good Luck and God Bless You.
2006-07-19 09:29:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should try to get her into family counseling.
If you can get her to participate it would be a great help. She is set in her ways and needs to be shown that life is different here. If she wants to be part of your life and here grandchildren's life. she need to get some outside help. someone who is bias. Good luck.
2006-07-19 09:16:46 · answer #9 · answered by kag6667 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is mentally and verbally abusive, how is it that you are stuck with her??? Let her know that she changes or you move out!!!! Try it, I know it might not work, but its worth a try. Have you tried counseling??? Good Luck.
2006-07-19 09:15:54 · answer #10 · answered by winona e 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋