tennage mums!!?

Question

why are people always judging teenage mums?? i am 20 years old and have 2 beautiful little girls age 3 and 1, i fell pregnant with my 1st at just 16. No it is not a good idea to have children so young but i am proud of what i have created and i am not a bad mum atall, both of my kids have the same dad, and i am now married to him and we do not live off benifits as we both work while the children are at nursery. My children have everything that they need and everything that they want and are very well looked after!! please dont judge teenage mums, unless you really have reason too.

Answer 1

I want to say something about this. Teenage mothers ARE NOT horrible stereo-typical people. Alot of them pull their act together and get better grades. MY MOM DID IT. As did my co-worker. Yes, there are the ones who do depend on their parents to take care of their kids. So obviously she is not a "RARE BREED." First off she is a human being. She is married, she is happy. Some people just like having children young. I would if people didn't have stupid stereo types like this. And I'm a damn good person and I would support a child. I can say this honestly. And I'm 16 years old!

Answer 2

congratulations, i admire you being 20 and having 2 children i am 20 and have recently had my daughter and currently in process of adopting my neice and me and my husband have been married for 4 years it was strange i got married when i was 16 and many people only thought we got married cos i was pregnant (was half true however i lost my baby), not cos we love each other which we do, and they thought we would be divorced by now and i can honestly say ive never been happier. Me and my husband both work, well until had the baby and we dont really get benifits, i can understand why so many people are against teenage mums but many of the mums i met are fantastic mums and work hard and look after their children however there are a few exceptions to the rules and these are the ones who we all read about and are well documented.

Answer 3

I was a teenage mom myself, all my so-called friends at school thought I was a hussy for having a baby at not quite 17, but I finished school, and waited 12 1/2 years before I had another baby..I wanted to go to college and get a degree so that I would be able to give my now 16 yr old son what he needed. I must also add, that his father and I are STILL together and also have a 4 yr old and I am currently 7 1/2 months pregnant....
I think as long as you are responsible, and don't live off of benifits from the state you live in, your a responsible parent..It is VERY TOUGH, but noone said parenting would ever be easy....My mother always told me being a parent is the hardest, but the most rewarding thing a woman will do in her life..

Answer 4

I am 40 years old now, got pregnant at the young age of 16, and gave birth to my son 2 weeks after my 17th birthday.

I remember the looks, the whispers, being judged...

At my age now, I understand why.

Being a parent is TOUGH! Tough no matter what your age is! But even tougher as a teen, or very young adult. I thought I was a good (teen) mom too, but now at this age I think back and KNOW that I would have done SOOOOO many things differently. Who you are now is NOT who you will be 5, 10, 15, or 20 years from now. Life IS school! We constantly learn new lessons at every turn in life. At every age life presents us with new experiences, new challenges, and new things to learn.

I wish I had waited until I was older to have my son... gotten my education 1st so I didn't have to juggle being a Mom AND my education at the same time. I had to make many sacrifices that I feel didn't allow me to put my son's best interests 1st, but being a single, poor Mom, I had to do what I had to do. I wish I would have been better prepared to be a parent, educated in life and career, stable income/job/medical benefits, financially stable, stable relationship, a home of my own, and patience. I was not prepared at all. I KNOW that I was ill prepared and not grown up enough at the time, and feel if I had waited I would have been a MUCH better mother, and perhaps my son would be alive today. The life I gave him was not good enough and ended up making life very difficult for him which led him in the wrong direction.

One day when your older, you will understand. Young people think they are invincible, have all the answers and love will conquer all... not true.

In a nutshell, life is hard enough... why make it harder on yourself by having children at such a young age...?

You can use ANY learning analogy to make this point... Would you try to learn to play a guitar without some sort of lessons, or book with instructions? Would an employer hire you to do a verrry important job with NO experience? Being a parent is THE MOST important job you will ever have! How can someone that's just learning how to be responsible for themselves be responsible for another helpless human being/a child?

I believe most teen moms didn't choose to get pregnant, they just didn't use birth control, and like myself thought, "It won't happen to me."

This is all general stuff, not directly related to you as I don't know you. I'm only speaking from my experience, and how I can see both sides of the fence.

I applaud you for keeping your kids and doing the best you can do at your age.

Answer 5

I was 16 when I had my eldest and am still with the father, working and putting a roof over their heads. Yeah we aren't all bad mums, butr you have to admit it, the majority of teenage mums suck!

And it isn't just teenage mums, a lot of mums suck at the job (and dads) But do me a favour. Take a look at some of the girls you went to school with. How many of them are single mums? How many on benefits? How many still living with their own parents with their children? How many dump their children on any Tom Dick or Harry while they go out getting drunk or whatever it is they do?

My guess is the answer will be the majority of them. It is THOSE tennage parents that get the slating. Society knows that not all teenage parents are like those, and society knows that not all older parents are saints either. But you have to admit, there is a huge majority of them that deserve a slating, because they ARE rubbish.

The thing is not to feel offended by what society says about the majority groups. All you have to do is carry on being a good parent. You don't have to prove anything to anyone. All that matters is that your family are happy and healthy and people who don't know you can please themselves what they think. If they are personal towards you in any way, it's their problem. They don't know you, they are just being small minded and it is them with the problem, not you.

Take care of your little girls, and yourself.

Can I just add, to the person who was blaming the parents. My parents did not force me to have sex with my boyfriend. My parents did an excellent job in teaching me about safe sex, STD's etc. DO NOT blame my parents for me getting pregnant at 16. I have my own decisions to make, and I made them. My parents LOVE me and they SUPPORTED me in making MY OWN decision. It was my decision to make, not theirs. THAT IS WHAT A REAL PARENT WOULD DO. SUPPORT THEIR CHILD, WHATEVER THEIR AGE, IN MAKING THEIR DECISIONS.

And before you go on about the 'support their child' bit and make snide comments about yeah, you're just a child having a child, we are ALL out parents children, no matter what our ages. Also, many people can be a child by age but not in the head and vice-versa.

Answer 6

Because a teenager is suppose to be focused in school and get a great career in life. A teenage girl isnt suppose to be worrying about who I want to f.u.c.k tonight. Ok , my bad I was 17 when I lost it, but im 22 now.. and I have not gotten pregnant. It alright to have sex but the thing is your a teenager, teenagers are still babies.. like they say a baby having a baby.. you know.. im working full -time and Im studying for my phd in finance.. I mean.. its just sad, in my point of view that a girl your age had to have had a baby at 16... but its not ur fault it your parents fault for not lecturing you.. hey you are doing good now.. which is great. but some other girls dont have the same luck you did..

Answer 7

Most people don't like hearing about teenage mums because they are still children themselves but everyone is different like yourself there are ones that just have baby after baby and aren't even in a proper relationship but that can apply to all ages.
So yes you are right don't just judge teenagers unless you really need to !!

Answer 8

Unfortunately, as with a lot of things in life, some people give others a bad name.
I am sure you have seen or heard of young mums who don't work and have no desire to. Who have babies just because their friends have, or to get a bigger house from the council. I know quite a few and it really does upset me, and I am sure you too.
I work so many hours for so little pay and cannot afford a mortgage. I have to have a budget wedding, we can't afford a honey moon and I haven't had a proper holiday in my life. Then I look at people just down the round from me, getting back from Miami- their children wearing Nike trainers, and I have to get mine for £3 in the sale from Tesco.
My partner also works long hours, we just about get by every month. We've never had any money from anyone, and it makes it all the more rewarding. I admire you for what you are doing, you are a rarity. Please don't take it personally that people paying taxes look down on young mums. We are all just trying to get by, and its frustrating to see others getting so much of the money we earn.
It's not just young mums, its a certain demographic that abuse the benefit system, saying they have 'disabilities' and what not, it's terribly frustrating for the rest of us who have to work until our late sixties in jobs we probably don't like for little praise and little money.
Again, I do admire you for what you are doing. This country needs more people like you :)

Answer 9

I agree with you to a certain point. I am a young mother myself but some teens are more mature then others, i have friends who have kids young and they still wanna do things that young energetic people do like raving, staying out late etc, because they are at the age where they can do what they want but with a child that can sometimes be a hold back 2 some parents. I think you are one of the mature young mothers who knows what she wants, where she wants to be, and who she wants to be with as u said your married,not all young mothers have a steady lifestyle. but not all young people have the same thoughts and level of maturity, so sometimes it not a judgement it's a fact.

Answer 10

your not the kind of teenage mum thats been stereotyped, read in closer the other day about this guy hes 21 and his gf is pregnant with his 7th kid, all by different girls, who are all under 20, thats the kind of teenage mums that are judged. after all, thats probably the stupidest situation to get yourself into.