As most have read I am going through or near the end of my divorce and have been getting on wonderfully with the soon to be ex. We have been spending time together, having deep truthful conversations with no smoke and mirrors. Last night he talked of reconciliation, stopping the divorce and trying to work this out. We both agree he will not move back in [if this was to infact happen] he would remain in his house, we would talk with my family about this [as he has none]. I am fearful but feel this could work for real this time, but the 'what ifs' are close by - What do you think? Do you think its possible to reconcile a 12 yr marriage that was so close to a final divorce?
2006-07-19 01:39:28 · 10 answers · asked by libby s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I absolutly believe that its possible... just take thing alowly and don't fall into the same traps you did the first time along....GOOD LUCK!
2006-07-19 01:45:17 · answer #1 · answered by Liz 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes i do.. if theres even the slightest bit of love there when 2 people seperate then anything is possible.. and u know what they say , absence makes the heart grow fonder.. i think ur right in having him stay at his place i think u both should start all over again just like u did all those years ago date again, find the passion and the giddines again.. so that this time u can be even stronger then before.. and if there are kids involved its much easier on them if u do your trial period with ur x still outside of the house because on the chance that it doesnt work out this 2nd go around, they shouldnt have to have to go through it all over again.. Enjoy it.. dont think of what if's that will only spoil it for both of you, give it a shot.. a real shot.. and if u find urselves back in love wonderful.. but definately give it a bit of time first to make sure your making the right decisions..
GOOD LUCK I WISH U ALL THE LUCK IN THE WORLD please let us know what happens.. would love to hear a story of a husband and wife getting back together.. and finding that love again..
2006-07-19 01:47:14 · answer #2 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes,yes and yes .. I have friends of my Moms that were married for 10 married young. They divorced went threw with it and 2 yrs later got remarried again and have now been married 25 yrs now. They said they handed in the towel too quick they still cared for each other. I think it is important to at least investigate this option. Living a part and dating again and learning new things about each other is a great idea. Either way you are damned if you do damned if you don't ... u have nothing to lose right so I think you should consider it as long as he has been faithful to you and neither one of you have cheated cause that could happen again and you don't want that.
2006-07-19 01:48:57 · answer #3 · answered by T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what caused the divorce, but you obviously loved each other enough to stay together for 12 years.
As for getting back together, maybe the divorce was the wake-up call you guys needed. If you love him and think he loves you, go for it! If not then proceed with the divorce.
Start slow. Don't move in together. Go on dates, get to know each other all over again. You'll be surprised at how much you don't know about each other. Let yourselves fall in love all over again. Just take your time and know that if it's meant to be it will be.
Good luck
2006-07-19 01:48:29 · answer #4 · answered by kara_lacey 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Libby:
A wise answerer to an earlier question pointed out that, to paraphrase, "words disappear and and actions linger". Do you feel you'd be in better or worse shape if you now reverse the divorce proceedings and then, later had to re-instate them? Would THAT be more, or less, confusing for the kids? From my experience, it is VERY, VERY difficult for a person to change their behavior patterns. That's true even if they've been in counseling and therapy. You are bright, caring, intelligent and I have every confidence you your ability to make a good decision.
D
2006-07-19 01:50:26 · answer #5 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Were all 12 years bad? There had to be a lot of good times or you wouldn't have been together that long. Go slow, date for a few months or longer until there is no question in your mind. If you have any doubts at all you need to resolve them before you do anything.
2006-07-19 01:49:27 · answer #6 · answered by mandp 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes i do think it's possible to reconcile. follow your heart. that is great to hear that you guys had a deep and meaningful conversation. 12 years thats a long time you guys was put together for a reason. go ahead make it work
2006-07-19 01:45:42 · answer #7 · answered by TEXXBRATT 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him if he really means it, he will not do anything to mess it up this time. Either he shapes up or you're shipping him out and this is the last chance and no more time will be wasted on your part. Sometimes you gotta lay down the rules and tell it like it is.
2006-07-19 01:47:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anything is possible if both are willing to try..good luck.
2006-07-19 02:31:54 · answer #9 · answered by Goodspeed 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well,I,m in the process myself,after 16 years,as for myself...i miss the good parts....and thats all I miss......obviously...there was a problem....remember?..but go with your heart...and live with your decisions.
2006-07-19 01:46:32 · answer #10 · answered by outback 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋