Is suicide the answer?

Question

I mean no one in my family accepts that i'm gay even though i told them when i was 14, i'm 17 now and i'm so depressed. My dad and I used to be so very close but now its all over, i seem to sicken him and its killing me inside. I just want him to hold me again, my mom too but it's like i don't have anyone except my girlfriend and i'm being forbidden from speaking/seeing to her since my dad caught us kissing. We find ways to see eachother but its getting harder. And i'm just getting more and more depressed. Now that i'm older and a lil more active in activities involving glbt teens the situation at home has gotten worse. I've started cutting, not seriously. But its the only way i get release, can someone help me?

Answer 1

no suicide is never the answer and releasing blood is not the best way to release any emotional issues

if your parents wont love you, there is always a God that loves you, thats the truth

Go to church, youll be accepted there and no where else will they love you as much

im sure even though your parents hurt you, they dont want you to kill yourself, rethink it and email me if i am wrong about anything

Answer 2

Simple answer is NO. I think we all went through this one time or another and its hard. I'm not going to rehash what everyone else says but in all honesty... Your parents might not be happy now but things can change.

Its hard when you're young and don't have anyone to talk to but you really should look at support groups out there either on line or at a center because believe me honey, there are more people like you than you know.

The good thing is, you are in a time where there are support groups and people to help. Be strong and just be who you are. At 17 you are a turning point in your life where in the next few years it won't matter what your parents think. You have to be who you are and trust me, there is NOTHING wrong with you and I think that we all agree (who have replied and will reply.)

Now about the cutting. Stop that!!!!!! Its very unsightly!!! and will mar what a beautiful person you are. Its not the answer and neither is suicide.

I know you don't see it but there is light at the end of the tunnel and things will get SO much better for you especially if you let them and do what you can to affect change. You can read all you want on depression, cutting and suicide but remember you and only you can change things.

I don't know you but I know what you are going through...

Another side note, in time things may heal itself. I remember when my parents found out - about your age. And things weren't great at home. I finished college, did graduate school away from home and met so many people like me and was accepted for who I am. This can happen to you as well. Also, my partner and I love our families now and our families love us. Funny thing is my mother loves my partner now. So does my dad. You have to realize they are in a state of shock and it wears off.

It will all be OK, take it from us. We've all been there. It gets better. You are not alone. And lastly, no matter whatever anyone says, you are normal, wonderful and will lead a great life :) Just be who you are.

Considering you have had 25 (or so) answers in the past few hours should prove that people care.

Also, talk to someone - its a better outlet than cutting yourself and a friend or therapist can usually give you better insight.

Answer 3

Cutting and suicide are not the answer. I know it's hard, but sometimes you just have to accept that some friends and family are not very open to our lifestyles. Since you are only 17, your best bet would be to keep your relationship low-key until you can move out on your own. In the meantime, look into counseling, not only for yourself, but with your family. Maybe having an outside party can help them come to terms with your sexuality.
I was a cutter for 17 years myself...this is something you want to stay away from! I now have lost most of my self-esteem, because my body is covered in scars that will now be a constant reminder of how hard I was on myself...
Join a church, make some friends, find a support group...but if your dad keeps beating on your or being physically abusive, report it to your school counselor, as this isn't legal and it should NOT be going on!

I hope some of this helps....and if you ever need a friend to talk to, come talk to me!

Answer 4

I often felt trapped like you do and even wanted to take the big step and end it all. When I was small, my father was an abusive alcoholic and so was my mother and I suffered both mentally and physically and then my mother died. I was living in Hong Kong (I am white) and was cut off from friends by language but eventually I met a Chinese kid that befriended me and later his father became my guardian( my father literally sold me). While this was happening, I hid on a mountain and cried my heart out everyday. There were no hugs from my real father and very few from my real mom and suddenly I was alone with my new family but my new daddy made my life. His own sons (my brothers now) and his wives (he had two) made me change from a scared and insecure person to the person I am today. My advice to you is to expand your horizons through school, church or teen clubs or other places that can bring some comfort to you. I realize my advice is barely lukewarm but I have been there and done that. You are an important person and have to keep things straight for only you. Adults mess up. You can't, you have something to offer others!

Answer 5

Parents tend to be very protective of their children and your father may be even more so if he doesn't understand what you are going through. Try doing things that make you happy rather than self destructive venues. There are many groups out there that can provide you with someone to talk to when you are feeling upset. Suicide is never the answer. Ending your life won't make you happy. You're only 17 and should look forward to the fact that you will soon be able to be in charge of your own life and decisions. Writing about your thoughts and feelings can help quite a bit. It channels your feelings and regardless of whether it is a pulitzer prize story or a mis mash of words, it can help just to know that you've gotten your anger and frustations out onto a piece of paper. In the long run it will improve your writing skills as well which is an important talent to have for the future. From how well you've worded your question I can tell that you know how to write. Happiness comes from within yourself and having been in your position I know that you will become a very strong person. If you contact the folks that run www.outrightvt.org (which is a youth group in my area) they should be able to chat with you and possibly even get you in touch with a similar group in your area. Even if there is not a group in your area, they have penpal groups and send information as discreet(no return address) mailings. Good luck and the best of wishes from a gay boy in Vermont:)

Answer 6

Suicide is not the answer. You may think that nobody accepts you but sometimes people just dont know how to act when they find out things like that. If you commited suicide your parents would feel guilty and you would be very much missed.
You may think that nobody cares and they cant accept or dont accept you when really they just dont know how to act or what to say.
I had a friend with pretty much the same problem and it took a few years for his family to take in the information. Things changed in his household when his family found out things never got the same but the family started accepthing it and they started to know what to say and how to act.
But commiting suicide is not the answer and is not the easy way out. Just think of how many people your leaving behind...

Also the cutting is not good either. You need to talk to your parents or a counsler. I use to cut my arms and it is not something I would want to do again. You may think its hard now but you really do need to talk to someone about the way your feeling and the things your thinking and doing. You will feel alot better once you start talking. I hope things get better for you.

Answer 7

Nope. Suicide is not the answer. (Cutting isn't a good pathway either.) Sounds to me like you're going through some hell (seems there's enough here for everyone at some point). I've been through some torment myself; (even had a gun once -'nuff said). Tough times maybe aren't meant to break us, just to forge us, if we don't let ourselves be broken. There is a way to see this come out for the better - a way to get your purest feelings to be heard and respected (though maybe not believed) by those most important to you.
Allow your feelings to be visably vulnerable - do not close yourself off. Yet allow your heart to be visably strong - not hard, strong. Never back down from the argument - even if there's nothing being said. But don't enter into an argument without respect for them.
Best wishes.

Answer 8

Do NOT take extreme measures, life is plenty of things, I see your parents are not educated enough to accept you, but they will change with time.
However at this time just take a good breath and think ahead, on how beautiful life is, this thing that are happening are just momentary, (think momentary in terms of so many years we are here on earth) .
Think in yourself, you are discovering many things and will discover more, even your girl friend will not be for ever, you have one life, so enjoy it as much as possible.
You are 17 and suddenly you are going to find in the 20s and every thing will be in the past.
Your parents are hurt because no parent espect to have a gay in their children, and many are not prepared to it, (I have two) they are married now, but it was a talk witn my wife before: how if they becomes gay? in that case we decide to help them be what they wanted; but none of them told us any thing in respect with that tendency, however we were prepared.
Now day we ask them what they think about the gay people, and they said: they are humans also.
I understand gay people and I love them, they are more understandable than the 'straight' ones, they listen your problems and try to help.
So you are not alone, it take courage to face the world and make it a better place to leave.
your family will accept you the way you are, a human person with your own identity, (in their inner soul you still are the little girl)
So remember God loves you so do I.

Answer 9

hey sweetie,

don't ever feel like you're alone. you're not. you've got a whole community supporting you. I can't imagine what you're going through, no one should have to go through what you've been going through. I admire you for seeking help. Don't hurt yourself, sweetie, it's not your fault, and suicide is definately not the solution.

Now, I know this may seem difficult, but if you have any other family members living close to you, like aunts or uncles or cousins, grandparents, ask them if you can stay with them for a while. It'll get you away from your parents for a little while, and give both you and them time to think. Your parents may finally figure out that you're their flesh and blood. They do love you, they always will, but they're just having difficulty coming to terms with your lifestyle. People take a while to adjust. You've done everything right, sweetie. You came out to them. I know this may sound difficult still, but you may have to ask them directly why they haven't accepted it yet. As you said, it's ben 3 years. Just be honest with them. I'm sure they'll tell you, and then you and they can figure out a way to live together happily.

I'm sorry if this hasn't helped. If ever you need anyone to talk to, please contact me on [e-mail]. You are not alone, Sweetie.

Answer 10

Honey, NO WAY. Suicide is not the answer to anything. I am sorry you have had a difficult time coming out of the closet. I think you need to turn your father in. There is NOT A DAMN REASON on the face of this earth to be abuse by NO ONE. PARENTS, PARTNER, STRANGER, ANYONE.

You need to seek ALL the help you can from authorities. You need to get out of the house some way. I can understand you and your dad were close. But that is still not OK for him to beat you just because you are a lesbian.

Answer 11

Suicide is never the answer. Trust me I know this. We burried a friend about two and half years ago, a brilliant composer who just couldn't deal and blew his brains out in the front seat of his car in a public park overlooking a waterfall. The unmitigated hell that Matt's family and friends went through is beyond my ability to articulate it in the English language. His best friend and roommate Mel tried to get there to stop him, but he was too late and instead he got to be the first one to see his best friends brains blown all over the driver's side window. Mel has been in counseling ever since and I doubt he will ever be the same.

The point of my very graphic description of this is to really illustrate to you that suicide is messy. If you want to kill yourself, think about the bloodstain that is going to be on the carpet that your parents are going to have to look at every damn day. Someone is going to have to be the first one to find your body, and that person will probably never get over it, so choose wisely whose life you are willing to ruin because you can't deal.

You're 17, and trust me, there is this whole big world outside your parents house. Maybe they will never ever accept you and that would suck. But there are plenty of gay people in the exact same situation, and let me tell you, you live through it by creating your own damn family. Find supportive friends and foster those friendships, find a partner and start your own family. Instead of turning your pain inward, look outside of you for a second. Are you going to college when you turn 18? If not, can you still apply? No matter how poor your grades, someone will take you. No matter how poor you are, someone (feds or a bank) will loan you money. Get the hell out of your parents house and college campuses are a great place to meet other homos. And if college isn't the path for you, then you need to start saving up money and looking at moving the hell out of your parents house. Can you get job training somewhere? How about a night school or a tech school program in your area? It's easy to sit on your a$$ and whine about how much your life sucks while you listen to angsty music and dick around with a razor blade. That's the easy way out.

And if you're serious about stopping cutting, you might benefit from this answer I gave to another cutter a while back:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/;_ylt=Agzlxcle4J2ErTb7r4db1HYjzKIX?qid=1006020914415

This is what we did with a friend, and he hasn't cut in almost 4 years.

And obviously, you need some serious counseling dude. If you're not already seeing someone, you need to show your parents this question and ask them if they can afford to send you to a therapist. If not, you best start saving up the cash yourself, because trust me, once you're suicidal, you need the help of experianced professionals. And you might find your parents will relent in their bigiotry once they know that you're freakin' suicidal about it. I wouldn't bet the farm on it, but hey, stranger things have happened.

You might also want to pick up the phone RIGHT THE F*CK NOW and call the folks over at the Trevor Project. They are a non-profit that helps suicidal LGTB teens. They'll be able to direct you to resources in your area and better answer any questions you may have:

http://www.thetrevorproject.org/