Can any one here give me a full answer for my long question?? :-(?

Question

- I want to ask about my situation -
I can descriple my self as not self centred i mean no longer getting contact with my abilities. I quit study,work for 5 years for hard time i went through. I was so depressed back then now i started to train my body. I always write down notes for my self ....notes of encounters i have in my daily life ( i do not know ) how to activate them seriously.
PLus i always has the expectation thing which bothers me alot.
They say expectation is frustration...is that right?
Plus i do things waiting for comments how i can i get in my own actions and sayings with out them? Someone told me you have to challenge your self so you can grade YOURSELF. But i have to boost the feeling of SELF first. Is there any kind of training for this? I hate the way i think toward things i do.
How Should i take (compliments) from other people and use them for MY SELF>??? inestead of taking them suprefacially:-(
Maybe when i was a kid i was not like this..it was differ

Answer 1

To yourself be true. Sounds like you have been in some ruff waters as of late, all you can do is hold on and weather out the storm. Just remember that after the dark comes the light, life is great and it is what you make of it, i myself used to be sad all the time but a positive outlook and lots of medication and the love of a good women helps me pull through. good luck... Don't worry Be happy...............

Answer 2

The First and most important thing i noticed is that your placing yourself in a situation where nothing you do seems to be good enough.
You wish to grade yourself or test yourself to feel better but seem to say that they only way to test your self is to do somthing impossible (taken from the use of challenge).

I belive the best thing you can do first is to take a step back relax and not just look back on all you have done but appreicate all the effort and work you have put in to get where you are now.
once this is done if you wish to test yourself its easy take what you can do now and set up easy to follow steps where you plan to progress to the next step once you passed the last step.

Finaly i would like to say there is no need to try to take things too seriously (yes its also good to be serious from time to time but it is bad if it becomes everything) you are a great person with much potential to do great things if you only allow yourself the time to be proud of all youve done.

Cheers
Michael H Flack

PS: do somthing nice for yourself (go to the movies etc) i feel you have earned a care free day.

Answer 3

The organization of your thoughts suggest to me that you might be bipolar. I would suggest testing for that. There are some effective treatments for this if that is the case and many of those issues will go away with treatment.

You clearly suffered a deep depression. The pulling away from people for example. When you stopped doing things you love to do that is a huge warning sign you are depressed.

As for expectations. Sometimes you will exceed what you hoped for by a thousand times. More often you are disapointed, sometimes you are crushed by the disapointment as the expectations were so high. Most people only have really strong expectations about love, career and family. An athelete for example who trains hard and does poorly in compitition can become extremely depressed about such failure. It is very common for romantic failures to cause such depression.

If you are always disapointed then something is wrong. No matter how bad your luck at least some good things happen to everybody. So there are two questions to ask. First are you seeing the good things? If you are just so focused on the negitive that you overlook the good things then stopping and just making yourself look for the good that is happened lately can be a big help. If nothing ever goes right and you really cannot find a good thing then you are sabataging yourself. You are making some of the bad things happen by expecting the worse and often pulling out before things can go right. You'll even force a bad outcome just so you don't have to wait for the outcome which you'll know is bad. In reality the outcome is undecided until you force the events and assure that the worst possible outcome is exactly what happens.

The note keeping, again tends to make me think you might be bipolar. Journaling is a good outlet for depression, however it can also cause you to obssess about events. Journaling should be done quickly and relate thoughts. If you wind up going over and over again accross lifes events then you are cycling into depression. Each circle you make with those thoughts do two things. First it feeds the problem. What might be a minor problem gets bigger each time you feed it. So you will act all out of proportion when you do take action. The problem by then will seem huge to you and taint all of your activities. The second is that each circle allows the chance to inject rationalization. Thus it is no longer not your fault or becomes all your fault depending on the way it is rationalized. This can easily lead to where all reality is washed away and the problem no longer exists because you buried it in self or externalized blame. A simple test for this is can you honestly say all of your problems are either your fault or completely other's fault? Reality is that very few problems do not have at least a little blame on both. Once you lose the perspective that problems are neither all your fault nor all other people's fault then touch with reality is gone. Once that is gone irrational behavior comes easy. After all it's all or none of your fault. So therefore all constraint is gone. A sort of false freedom sets in. Once it sets up camp it can be might hard to ask to leave :)

So, first step is to step back and let go of everything. Do something you always wanted to do. Don't cause yourself undue financial burdon doing it. If you cannot afford it pick something else. If you cannot find something else that's affordable look around for something else to do that looks interesting. Forget EVERYTHING for a few days. Give yourself a vacation from problems. That is set up at least two days where all your bills are paid. All family knows not to contact you for those two days. Friends the same. Decide you will have NO problems for those two days. That you will NOT think about anything. Hide your journal/diary. Take ZERO notes. Just enjoy yourself for two days. Maybe it's making pottery, maybe it is a trip, maybe it is going to a concert. Do something and insist that it is going to go right and do what it takes to make it go right.

After you've had 2-3 days to refresh your mind try tackling them. If you are unable to let go for 2-3 days then there are deeper issues. This assumes that if you have children you can find safe babysitting for them and that they are old enough to spend a couple days away from you. If you have very young children instead pick an activity that you spend time just doing kid stuff with them. Same if babysitting is impossible to find/afford. Things that will keep the kids in a good mood most of the time. Do not allow them to spoil the weekend however. Kids are kids, they will push until the parents say enough. If you do not have firm lines the kids do not know to cross they can turn even the best outing into a nightmare. So don't expect anything involving small kids to be anything. Small kids have short attention spans and little things can easily turn fun into a bad time. They fatigue easily and get bored quickly. So a short hike is fun. A long hike for example can often be a pain. So activities with small kids need to be short, organized and end to a chorus of can we stay just a little longer. Anything else is only going to defeat your purpose of getting away from everything.

Anyway hope this helps.

Answer 4

you forgot to trust in you! It will be more easier for you if you would take things as they come and stop analyzing everything. Talk to a good friend how you feel, and you'll feel better. If someone offers you feedback just accept it, don't think if you deserve it or not, just think about what abilities you've used and which of those abilities were seen by other people. Don't be so tough with you...it is great to have expectations, in this way you could make plans for the future and compare your achievements!
Take some time for yourself and think about the things you achieved by your own(every little thing count, even answering to a question on Yanswers;)It is better to write down the best things you can do, like making a great pie for example, everything counts!
Trust in you and feel proud with what you have and what you've achieved !

Answer 5

First of all, you sound a very interesting person, very stimulated by what goes on around you and seeking to grow in who you are. I can imagine that you have been put under a lot of pressure and whether this has been self generated or from others is something only you can answer.

What is also interesting although not unique to you is that you may take what people say far too seriously, what they say is only THEIR opinion, and as long as you are comfortable with who and what you are is all that is relevant.

Consider - you do not have to focus on how the world sees you, that is their issue, enjoy who you are and what you are. You do not need to focus on you, do not be concerned, enjoy the world and life, enjoy each moment.

Answer 6

There are many books on the subject of positive thinking and self help, how to be successful, how to like yourself more, etc., etc..but these books sometimes cannot really help. So why not look on something or Someone who is more powerful than you to give you self satisfaction? The question is not " do you love yourself?" but "DO YOU BELIEVE IN GOD?" Do you believe that we are created in His image and He wants us to be happy? Do you believe that He has gifted you with abilities and that He gave you a uniqueness of your own? You are special. He created you to be you..and that pleases Him. To see yourself in the eyes of others is really disappointing because people have different expectations. Why not look at yourself as God sees you, a wonderful creation and He is just waiting for you to NOTICE Him so He can make you what He really intends for you to be..a happy, contented person.

Answer 7

Well first of all leave the history behind ur self and think ahead for the future that holds a lot of surprises for u in store.
U seems to be in a confused state of mind. this may be due to the harsh realities u went through that u refer to as ur 'unresolved expectations'.

No expectation is not frustation. its a challenge though, that motivates u to look ahead and face the realities. the outcome of this challenge is not in ur hands but that should not stop u from moving ahead. frustation is a perception that crops up in the minds of defeated people. but let situations not defeat ur real purpose in life.

keeping a personal diary is a good thing but u should also learn from whatever u hav jotted down in it. meditation is the best recourse for self enlightenment. deep breathing early morning in the fresh air will also help clear ur minds of all the negevities.

remember.......respect is earned through good conduct. so try to look positive and move ahead.

Phew!!!!, i hope i did not bore u.

Answer 8

Be yourself.

Expectation/s are not frustrations. It could only be defined as such if you're not ready enough to learn. Learning is a continous process. Observe and have an open mind to digest that: "everything happens for a reason".


DWELL NOT ON THE PAST.
Use it to illustrate a point, then leave it behind.
Nothing really matters except what you do now in this instant of time. REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.

Answer 9

First of all no one can reasonably answer your in depth question without saying depression is a disease and you need professional help. A counselor can help you not only figure out why you think that way but also help you retrain yourself to think differently. Seek help it makes a different outlook on oneself and life.

Answer 10

hi, i hv answered yr last question also, wtever condition u saying abt ur self, dont worry, the whole world going to same way, even 99 % world all abt madness, u r the one of few , who noted and atleast accepted it. now its right time to find yrself.

go for meditation, and it will change yr life, go to the way of osho , study him, try his meditation techniques, u will feel that how wonderful and confident u r.

best regards ..yr friend