... are still doing this. Theres no reason for it, i have good jobs, im a gd person, i dont do drugs. Thing is it messes me up as im always striving to get there approval, and as hard as i try i cnt.Is there anyway i can get out of this vicious circle???????
2006-07-18 22:03:21 · 21 answers · asked by tunachunks199 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
You have to break the circle
And do you know how
The only approval you need is from yourself
And that you are doing the best you can
If we wasted our lives seeking approval from everyone we would lower our own self-esteem
Just look at yourself as you are the white sheep shinning bright.
Love & Blessings
Milly
2006-07-18 22:11:18 · answer #1 · answered by milly_1963 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you try to see that the problem is not their treatment of you but your desperation for their approval, it may help take you out of the vicious circle. As long as they treat you differently and you strive to be accepted then the situation will continue and continue.
It may be worth bearing in mind that friends may be the way forward for you - Edna Buchanan said "Friends are the family we choose for ourselves" and in the sense that the people we CHOOSE to surround ourselves with are people who we feel good about and thus who make us feel good about ourselves then it can only have a positive effect on you. Don't cut your father and sister out of your life, but don't allow the way they treat you to impact on your emotional wellbeing - after all you know that you are a good person, with a good job and they have no justification in treating you this way. Distance yourself if necessary- enjoy who you are and share your life with people who appreciate you for who you are.
2006-07-18 22:29:58 · answer #2 · answered by honey2thebeee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i ask your self what her perspective is? that is irrelevant for her to come back knocking on your door given you had under no circumstances met her before in any social situation. changed into it like, knock-knock-knock.."hi, i'm your father's new spouse and that i favor you to come back stay with us"...even although i do not comprehend you from a hollow interior the wall and that i'm waiting for our first newborn who will keep us all up through the nighttime AND we've favor of reachable babysitters. extraordinary. So sorry to take heed to of your mum passing. i will wager you're nonetheless hurting from the loss. I agree that this isn't a tremendous time that you may want to might want to play positive with a stranger even as you're nonetheless determining your destiny. i'm no longer certain a 19 year old may have the capacity to furnish you perfect coaching and discipline although (her lack of time/journey/etc.). nicely, universal, you're probably extra proper off the position you're. in case you had doubts about this determination although, you've not said why. Is it that you should have a sparkling equipped-in kinfolk? ultimately i am hoping you'll patch issues up with your father. He made blunders many years in the past that I believe he's matured sufficient from to no longer repeat. If he's the only different residing relative you stay on the point of, then be style because you under no circumstances comprehend once you'll honestly favor him.
2016-10-14 23:02:25 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried talking to them about this?
First thing to try is to explain to them as gently as possible that they way they talk to you is hurting you, and you would like to be treated with more kindness and respect. Ask them if there is anything that you are doing which upsets them.
If this approach doesn't get you anywhere, and if they really don't have any good reasons for their behavior then you will probably have to let them know that if they don't start acting like they appreciate having you around then they won't be seeing much of you in the future, and be prepared to follow through if they don't change.
If their behavior is really making you feel worthless and they won't change then you just have to minimise your exposure and gather around you people who love you for who you are.
Keep your head up.
2006-07-19 04:16:01 · answer #4 · answered by Some Guy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say "Im always striving to get there approval, and as hard as i try i cant" could be the core of the problem maybe your trying to hard. time to take a look at your own life move on get your own life and good luck
2006-07-18 22:17:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave the country. Come back 10 years later with a wife and child (or husband, or whatever depending on your proclivities).
Sounds extreme, but it is what I did. And if it dont really solve the problem 100%, you will have the self-confidence and independence to say the can think what they like about you, you'll have more important things to worry about!
2006-07-18 22:11:10 · answer #6 · answered by femuricious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Read this page to help you have extreme happiness and loads of peace. It tells that trying to get approval is a road that will bring you unending misery that gets worse and worse and worse and worse.
Reading this site will get you to like yourself more so you can choose the better road for yourself. If you were Osama bin Ladens' child you would have to want to kill Americans to be accepted. I tell you now that you are the lucky one not your brother and sister. They treat you like this since they are miserable.
http://phifoundation.org/happiness.html
2006-07-18 23:06:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you livign for yourself ..or for your parents. you do love your parents and that's why your are seekign for their approval on the things you do so then they are happy about you. and so that you don't feel rejected. but, do you really have to chnage the way you are for those who don't understand you or neva tried to?? no point going aftre somethign you are not happy with.why put so much of effort , when people don;t appreciate you?? be yuorself. you don't mean harm to anyone.too bad if others don't see the speciality in you.stay the way you are. one fine day, you will see how otgher had "missed" you through out their lives..
2006-07-18 22:10:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trying hard for approval messes you up. Move out and on with your life. Be yourself and do what you want, or you will miss out on an awful lot.
2006-07-18 22:11:35 · answer #9 · answered by Thia 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might be trying too hard. Why not move out and ignore them for some time? They will certainly realise yuor value at that time and start to give you some respect. Right now, you are TOO available for bashing.
2006-07-19 01:40:25 · answer #10 · answered by SmartAlec 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋