Why can't I find a man my age who wants a baby?

Question

Honest, I can't find a single man in his 30's - 40's who wants a settled relationship and a baby. I have been searching high and low for ages. What do you imagine is wrong with these guys? What are they afraid of? I'm not scary at all..

I am 38. It was my birthday in June.

I think I am running out of time!

I don't meet a guy and blurt out "I want a baby" what I try to do is , through getting to know him and conversation, gage his interest and reaction to having kids.. I'm very civilised and diplomatic. I do make it clear that I want one at some time. The reason I have left it late is because I was in a BAD marriage and that took a bit of time to get over. Now I am ready to have another crack at life. Is that so wrong?

Answer 1

I guess you're looking in the wrong places, although I do believe there is someone out there for you.

Most blokes of our age will be either sad characters still living with their parents, unhappily married, or divorced and covered in Scar Tissue.

So you are basically looking for a handsome and sexy bloke who has been saving himself for you? It is late to start a family, as most men that have children won't want to go back 10 years to the nappies and night feeds. I did all that 18 years ago with someone elses baby, and would find it a real struggle to go through all that again.

I guess blokes are just lazy and it sounds too much like hard work at this age.

Answer 2

only if you were 20 to 15 years younger you would have been perfect. i want 3 kids and already have 1, but marriage did not work. want to get the next 2 out of the way so that the next time we go on vacation i won't be collecting social security. So am looking for a woman to settle down and have 2 kids with.

sorry

Answer 3

l'm 19, l went out with a 30 year old for the best part of a year and he had no interest in babies or marriage or even having me live with him, and he was still clubbing every weekend as if he was the 19 year old!
l'm not saying l wanted him to put a ring on my finger or a baby in my belly just yet as l am far to young, but it would have been nice to know that one day in the next few years we would have moved it up a gear.
We had a few probs cos my family didn't like him, but, when times got hard and l needed his help, he didn't want to know!
l cloud understand a 19 year old not wanting to help me or settle down, but l couldn't really understand it from someone of his age.
OK, maybe l just wasn't the "one", he didn't love me in the way l loved him, but l wasn't the first girl he had had in his life who he let down cos he didn't want to settle down.
l don't know much about his past relationships, but he said good bye to all of them when they wanted to get serious!
What can l say, some men will just never be the settling down type, but l'm sure you will find him, stop looking and you'll find him when you least expect it! x

Answer 4

Don't worry about it. It will happen for you. What a man says and what a man means are too different things. All men say they don't want a baby but when it happens they're just as pleased as us women. Maybe you should try finding a man that doesn't already have kids. It's not the type of thing a man wants to talk about anyway. Good Luck with your search.

Answer 5

as a decent single 34 yo let me give you an honest answer. the problem is your reproductive life is near an end and i want to make sure any female is the right one to be the mother of my child and that takes time. I don't want to get some one pregnant a few weeks after we meet. A settled relationship, yes. a baby only when sure.

Answer 6

I think the thing you're doing wrong is looking. I think whether or not he wants kids should not be your main priority when meeting a man, you should just get to know him, and, if you like him, take it further. I think that you should enter into a relationship with a man you really like and could love first, rather than eliminating who could be the good ones simply because you don't think they want kids - get to know the man first, then about the kids later. Who knows, maybe he does want them, or maybe loving you could persuade him that having children with a woman he loves goes against his previous feelings about kids and he would want to have some after all. My advice = stop looking, start loveing. Kids will come up later.

Answer 7

You just need to remain positive and it will eventually happen for you and don't let people tell you your to old to have children... your not!

I have a friend who divorced his wife three years ago after she cheated on him,he said that he didn't want his next girlfriend to have any children as he hadn't got any.After months of getting over his divorce and going on numorous dates he eventually found someone who took his breath away and fotunately she had no children.They have now been married for 6 months and their first child is on the way.

By the way she is 42 and he is 43 so it's never to late!

Answer 8

Usualy by that age they have been married before or a least have children already. Most that have them didn't want them in the first place. If they have never been married, never had kids you don't want them 'cause they are obviously not interested in the settled life.

Answer 9

Having a child is a big upheaval and when someone gets to that age they are settled in a routine so you cant really blame them. there are people of that age you would still want what you want but why has it took you so long to decide this is what you want.

Answer 10

I doubt it has much to do with you.....however, that age group quite often have children already....and maybe it is they don't want a bigger family....Maybe you are being to pushy.....or maybe they don't want to have the responsibility for a child that you want, and yet seem not to want them......there could be many reasons, we would ahve to know more about the situation to give a good answer