how much can being beaten up as a child effect an adult? do u think its different for eveyone?

Answer 1

I would imagine it is different for everyone. However, I know there was a time I spent most of my free time engaging in mental training to encode automatic responses to abuse - reasoning that if I am dealing with a large, angry assailant, the only way I will win is by taking drastic action. Fast enough that there will be no time to think about it, so that all the thinking has to be done beforehand.

And indeed. I ended up turning myself into a female version of Frankenstein: a monster who if I got the slightest idea that someone was attacking me, I would immediately forget I had any relationship with them (regardless of who it was - even a close relative), and think only about one thing: What can I do to neutralize this evil enemy object? No time to even be afraid. Only time to assess the situation and take decisive (even potentially lethal) action.

And it was indeed no longer completely under my conscious control. This led to my hitting my boyfriend backhand across the face for egregiously raising his voice at me. It was just automatic...

It has influenced my choices of who I find attractive. I almost never find anyone attractive who outweighs me by much more than 10%. When I was younger and skinny as a rail, this was quite conspicuous - it led to their often being 6 inches shorter than I. Nowadays, I have put on weight and am now a normal weight for my height (6'1"/180#) - so there is very little limitation on my choices anymore.

To this day, I am aware of the strategies I worked out over the years, as I go out at this time of day, to that place, with that person. Every situation is assessed in terms of the dangers it poses, and I am always aware of my capabilities, of what I can do to get out of the situation if need be.

Over time, however, I have learned to confine this to simple awareness. I don't go into a situation assuming it *will* turn out badly; I just remain aware and see how the situation develops before I do any more than that.

Also, to this day, I haven't been able to think up a better strategy for dealing with a child, to avoid my parents' mistakes, and I am aware that it would be unsafe to leave me alone with a small child - especially my own, because at least if it's someone else's child, you can leave when you've had enough... See, there are few things I hate more, to this day, than a disobedient, bratty child. My own child could end up being a mere spot on the wall by the time I was done with it....

And the best I could do, even for my own husband, is to tell him in advance what happens when I get mad, and what he needs to do to ensure his own safety. I cannot guarantee even to the man I love that he will never need to defend himself from me, that he will always be safe under his own roof...

Yes, I believe God is able to do the impossible, but it hasn't happened yet, so for the time being I suppose it's better I am single and will probably never be able to have children even if I wanted them...

Answer 2

I think it's different for everyone. I know a few people who got beat up at school alot and they have trouble as an adult. It depends on the person. I think if a person is easy to forgive then they have no problems when they become an adult but if someone who is weak and tender hearted then those are the ones who develope problems because they spend most of their time thinking about the situation and they sulk into their pitty, year after year and they replay it in their head. Instead of letting go they hold on.

Answer 3

I was raised by an alcoholic father and a psychotic mother. I grew up going to AA, Alanon, and family counseling sessions---all leading to being hung in the basement by my wrists for hours at the time, being whipped routinely with a leather belt with a buckle on one end, being slapped in the face, punched, kicked down stairs, and told---without fail---just how much of a burden I was to my mother.

Everything we experience in our lives shapes, colors, and influences our lives as adults. Without question. HOWEVER, we reach a point in our lives when we can make the decision to NOT be the people who raised us. Every day you will want to identify WHY you feel a certain way---then let it go. If you don't clean house because you still carry that feeling of a belt going across your back if you didn't clean well enough or not fast enough. Recognize where that feeling comes from---write it on a piece of paper----and throw it away. You don't have to feel that anymore, because those people are no longer in control of your life.

Get counselling----have someone you can go to on a regular basis who is trained in dealing with abused children and Adults who were abused children---just until you can learn how to recognize your baggage, and who can give you permission to empty those bags and throw those "old records" in the trash!!!

I am going to be 52 years old in August. I have 2 biological children and have fostered 27 other children over many years. I have NOT ONCE spanked my children. Even after my mother died, I grieved for the mother I WISHED I'd HAD----not for the mother I had. I tried, every day with my children, to be the mother I wanted my mother to be.

You can decide to break the chains of abuse. The abuse can end with you. Decide to empty the baggage, one piece of paper at a time.

You can do this! God doesn't take us through a storm for his enjoyment. He takes us through so we can have the strength to face the trials and challenges we will face as adults.

When you have "flash backs" of the times you were abused, take from those the lessons you need to be a loving, caring, nurturing, and honorable woman, wife, and mother.

Answer 4

It has different effects on different people. It also depends on what age the person was beaten up at, and by who. If it was child abuse, the effects are anywhere from rising above it to continuing it with their children to become a violent criminal.

Answer 5

Yes it is it depends on the person personilaty an how they take thing personly. Some can be extremely mad pppl or nice scared of things easily person it depends on the person. But it effects them cause its a memorie an a memorie will never fade an some times abuse there children to or don't it all depends on the person.

Answer 6

It's different for everyone. It can also cause Multiple Personality Disorder- now call Disassociative Identity Disorder, or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Answer 7

I got the living sh*t beat out of me when I was a kid andI turned out just fine I actualy turned out better because for that happening I wont hit a woman or a kid I actualy will stand up for them if I see it happen I have been locked up for hospitalizing bf that hit there girls I cant stand it and I think it is realy wrong I figure if you want to beat on some one beat on some one that will beat back

Answer 8

i was hit by my parents when i was a child. not very hard, but it did make me resent them. not only that, but i got very rebellious. instead of doing what they tell me to, i always do exactly the opposite. and also i am unable to have an affectionate relationship with them. so, for me, it did have effects. if you want your child to love you, you should restrain yourself.

Answer 9

post tramadic stress syndrome,,it effects you as you get older,,counceling does help,each of us is different in how we deal in life and how we allow the past to reflect our future

Answer 10

i think it varies upto the quantity & quality u r being beaten upto.
however it cracks one's future upto some degree