I hate my mother for the abuse she allowed me to endure as a child?

Question

How can I show her how much I dispise her for all the pain I have gone through?

Answer 1

Does She Abuse you that bad?
I feel pretty bad cause my mom us to do that but i moved to my father and now she calls my dad every day beging to see me and my brother but my dad wont let us go see her cause hes scared she might hurt us. So i Fixed my Problem.

Answer 2

First of all I would like to say sorry for all the abuse you have gone through.No child should ever be abused.Now,without knowing your whole situation and what you have actually been through,I cansay that maybe your mother was being abused herself.Maybe she was confussed and did not know what to do.Maybe she did what she had to do to survive herself and was not thinking about you,which is wrong.As I said,without being there and knowing the whole story,this is a hard one to answer.I can say that you only have one mother and you need to approch her face to face and ask her why she let this abuse occur.Ask her if she tried to stop it and if not then why not.You need to talk serious with her instead of approaching her with an all rowled up ready to get even attitude.There could possibly be behind the scene actions that you know nothing about.Remember that none of us are perfect and we sometimes let things happen to the ones we love and we feel that there is nothing we can do to stop it.Maybe she was like this and felt she could not stop it and realizes now that she made the wrong choices and could have done something about it.If this is the case then you need to forgive her and let her know that you were hurt but you do love her and are willing to put this in the past and start over.I really hopes this gives you some new insight and I wish you the best.

good luck and god bless

Answer 3

Me, too. And, I love her as well. I couldn't hate her if I didn't. How to love and hate the same person. To be, and to not be, all at the same time. It took me a long time, but my life eventually fell apart. I realized that either I would find a way to trust just enough to let someone help me or I'd cash my cookies in. Now, I feel like I missed out not only on the innocence of childhood, but also on a big chunk of my adulthood. Rage does that. Trying to pretend it away does that. It's exhausting and it stops you from becoming the person you really are.

I can't tell you that I have it all figured out, but I can tell you that slowly, I am feeling a lot better about me. Since you said "that she allowed," I assume that your mom was not the abuser. Mine wasn't. She was the silent partner. It was impossible for her to consciously see the horrible things. I'm guessing that maybe she is an easier target for you to hate than your abuser, and that maybe wrapped up in that hate is self-hate as well. These are things that no one can fix by themselves. Find a therapist, one you like, one that relates to you. There are online resources that can help you find some in your area. Most do sliding scales on your ability to pay. I hated the idea at first. Resisted. Truth is, it terrified me. This was the most difficult choice I made, and made again and again every time I dragged my butt in. Slowly, it got better, I begain to feel better. It's the best money I will ever spend. I no longer obsess on how it could have happened, how can I stop myself from blowing a fuse and literally showing my parents how much they hurt me by hurting them.

Confront yourself before you confront your mom. Learn about you first.

Answer 4

As bad as you want to don't even try to get even. You need to see a therapist in order to try to deal with your issues. If you are still a minor tell someone.
I have hated my mother off and on for life. I know what it feels like to have nothing done, or a step dad chosen over you. Now 42 I know that my mother is and always will be a very sick woman. She has passed that on to me her only child. when I think of her illness. I am glad I can recognize that I am also ill and seek help. She never will and that is a pity for I love her very much.

Answer 5

The best thing to do is talk to your mom about how you feel and what she done to you,if she don't listen try and make her you cant force but u can let her know you mean business and if that don't work then walk out of her life and tell her this.Your not a kid anymore and you will not allow her to hurt you anymore,if she cant say she is sorry and mean it and try and rectify things then you are done with her and she is no longer your mother she id dead to you.And until her attitude changes you will never speak to her again unless she wants to amend things then u can go from there.

Answer 6

you really need to go through a healing process part of that may include a talk to your mother. you are going to have to get rid of all of this anger and hurt one way or another. If you think that her knowing that you are hurting is what will help, she will not know unless you tell her. so talk to her. Believe me, as a mother and a person having a history of child abuse I really understand. The mother side of her will hurt. If hurting her is what you want to do, it is that simple. But talking about it will heal both of you.

Answer 7

You have to let it go and keep her out of your life. Believe me on this one, or she will continue to hurt you over and over. I am in the same boat and let me tell you the best piece of advice I ever got. A therapist told me that sometimes just because we "think" someone should act or love us a certain way, sometimes they are unable to. I have dealt with a lot of pain because of my mother and what she did or allowed to happen to me, but hating her does ME no good, and it gives her power that she doesn't have. Good luck in life and if you can't get over your feelings you should really talk to a therapist because they can help.

Answer 8

my mother did not protect me from abuse as a child either and was a willing participant in much of it. hate is not the opposite of love. when you hate someone that means you at least feel something for them. i cut off all contact with her (for more reasons than just not protecting me) and i feel very indifferent toward her now. i think the best revenge is taking away her power to hurt me anymore by removing myself from her life.

Answer 9

Hate is not the opposite of love indifference is, if you hate her that means you still care therefore you need to go to therapy and find a way to maintain a healthy life. It is true there is a thin line between love and hate! good luck

Answer 10

when you growing up, married and have children you will know why your mother act like that
because she love you and she didn't want you get hurt from outside she do the best to avoid that
sometimes I think like you and I hate my mom for what she did to protect me
and I go back and think again
it's only shows me nothing that my mom love and care and she know what the best for me and my life

Answer 11

You should seek counseling for yourself. And when you feel like you're ready - work with your therapist on what would be productive to share with your mother about your experiences growing up. Revenge hate-spew sounds like a big loser for you and her.