Last April I paid for my wife to go on a nice 3 week holiday in her native Philippines, so she could visit her folks with our son. While she was away I discovered some papers indicating that she had had an abortion in Februray. When I confronted her when she got home she admitted that yes she had been seeing another guy since mid 2003. We now arranging for a divorce. Trouble is my wife seems to expect the same financial priviledges since before I discovered her infidelity, and she expects me to pay for her UK citizenship application. What should I do ?
2006-07-18 19:58:41 · 36 answers · asked by suburbanyogi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
CUT HER OFF AND LET THE COURTS DECIDE WHAT'S FAIR.... Good luck.
2006-07-18 20:00:14 · answer #1 · answered by heidielizabeth69 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she married you for her own reasons, British citizenship. She has no right to claim a penny from you after what she did.If she really cared she could have spared you all the heart ache by leaving out some details.I know we say honesty is the answer but at times it destroys us.You did your duty by her.How many husbands will pay for a trip for one to go and see her folks. She messed up, if she has any conscience at all she will accept that fact and let you keep your money in your pocket ,however DO NOT FORGET YOUR SON because he has done nothing wrong.Fall out with the mother but not your son.
2006-07-18 21:18:44 · answer #2 · answered by okamgomezulu 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Send her packing!
Let the new boyfriend take care of her. She spread her legs for him thinking that's what she wanted, well, let her have him. Also, make sure that you can get your money from her and/or him for the trip and the abortion.
Also, make sure in the divorce settlement that YOU get custody of your son and make her pay you child support until your son is 18 or you re-marry whichever comes first.
Oh, about her UK citizenship, FORGET IT! Make the new boyfriend pay for that as well, and try to get whatever money you have paid for her to become a citizen of the UK reimbursed to you.
2006-07-18 20:10:58 · answer #3 · answered by GottaGo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
initially i was going to advise you to stop all forms of payments or gifts (rent, groceries, electricity,etc.). however, after considering the options i would tell you to consider the following:
1-after the divorce, will you still want to see your son?
2-how much is the application?
3-will the divorce cancel the application for citizenship?
4-how old is your son?
5-do you have a place to stay, that your wife will not find you?
if you want to continue to see your boy, paying her application would guarantee that she does not have to leave the country. or if you want to have your boy you could take him to a place where she won't find you, take your vacation and have her deported, evicted, or arrested.(a lot of different ways to do the jail thing)
good luck
2006-07-18 20:35:11 · answer #4 · answered by jazzmen4u28 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did she marry you for a British passport (sorry, but I do know someone to whom this happened). If she doesn't get her citizenship, how will htat affect the relationship with your son? Will she return to the Phillipines? Think carefully before you decide to cut her off. She is, unfortunately it seems, the mother of your child. Yes, her behaviour is despicable, but there is a little boy involved.
2006-07-18 22:59:28 · answer #5 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry that she did that to you. You do not owe her anything. Don't pay her one red cent. Tell her to go stand on the street corner and make her money that way. It is after all what she's good at...
Why are you even bothered asking yourself this question, she is not your responsibility anymore. Let her **** buddy take care of her.
I wish you all the best and although it feels really painful at the moment it will get better.
The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it is indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it is indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it is indifference.
2006-07-22 02:10:09 · answer #6 · answered by Jenny C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The word "adulterous" should stop you dead in your tracks. If somebody has that title, they shouldn't be married. Notify whoever is handling your divorce papers that she's of that nature. Get some proof (copies of abortion papers, any other marriages she was involved in, criminal records, etc.), and she'll be legally bound to pay you back everything you've given her.
2006-07-18 20:04:56 · answer #7 · answered by shadow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Come on now. I hope you don't. We cannot reward cheaters. All that does in fuel the cycle of infidelity. She needs to be shown that when you wrong a person there are consequences. No, don't do it. Let her man on the side worry about that.
2006-07-18 20:25:54 · answer #8 · answered by Big Daddy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest having a long chat with your lawyer, legally you may be obliged to pay for some things, but don''t give her a penny more than she is legally entitled to, and tell her to get a job and pay her own way in life.
2006-07-18 23:35:26 · answer #9 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if she's gonna be the one housing, clothing, and feeding your son then yes you should still pay. Because at the end of the day you should care more about the welfare of your son than what your wife has done to you.
2006-07-18 20:36:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Considering the reason for divorce you should have some rights in this issue how long were you marred?? Talk to a lawyer.
2006-07-18 20:01:13 · answer #11 · answered by conundrum_dragon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋