I have a guy friend whose now really confuse about his situation. He has an 8year relationship with her gf and got engaged last year. That time, things are that easy and going smoothly for him, until time came that he and his girl colleague became friends. Before he thinks that their relationship is just a plain friendship, but time came that they became closer to each other and through their friendship, they became lovers. He's really in love with this new girl in his life and almost forgotten of the girl he's engaged with.He's very happy being with his new girl because he realized that he's really in love with her deeply, he knew that this is the first time he became in love that much and that he never felt that way before.He became confuse abt his situation especially when the time came that he needs to choose among the two ladies he involved with. He choose the first one, but the result is that he is sad and unhappy because he's still very much in love with his 2nd gf.Pls help!
2006-07-18 19:22:59 · 11 answers · asked by HisAngel 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
actually, the thing here is that im the 2nd girl...
2006-07-18 21:18:58 · update #1
He really needs to straighten this out before he marries the wrong girl. His first discussion should be with girl number 2. He needs to know how she feels. If she loves him and he indeed loves her then he needs to be straight up with girl number 1 and explain it as gently as possible BEFORE he gets married. Once he takes those wedding vows he is committed. Your "friend" needs to get busy before he looses everything. Honesty is the best answer yet again.
2006-07-18 19:32:08 · answer #1 · answered by AK 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honesty would help in this situation.
The two girls need to know about each other and though it would be best for him to stand up and be honest, I'm guessing from what you wrote, he is not really that strong or honest.
We are all here to make our own mistakes and learn from them. This means you should probably stay out of the situation. If you find it difficult you might even consider cutting off contact with him until he can resolve his issues...but being supportive of him doing the right thing is probably a better course to follow.
Worst case...if you really feel you must meddle...then tell the girls about each other. It will cause lots of pain...but the longer it goes on, the more pain there will be.
2006-07-18 19:36:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first girl deserves to hear the truth. After that, he should take some time to think things over...if it is true love, the relationship will be there, if not, he is better off without either girl. As far as a relationship with girl # 2 goes, however, it is never a good idea to begin a relationship through deception. That's just bad karma.
2006-07-18 19:27:00 · answer #3 · answered by benjilove 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this man was looking for a way out from his first girl when he picked up with the second one.
he's doing what he thinks he should do and acting out of guilt.
the first relationship can only end badly. it's not fair to her or him. You care about your friend and you should take him out for a lunch or dinner and have a good talk with him. Ask him if he's thought about it clearly inside and if you can help him sort it out if he hasn't.
Maybe some time away from his life and a good friend to talk with will help him understand what life he wants to live - the one for honesty to all or the one of duty to one person to avoid guilt.
good luck with everything!
2006-07-18 19:28:56 · answer #4 · answered by tami 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have a valid component, i'm handling a disaster like this suitable now in my existence. My father has been out and in of the emergency room for coronary heart problems the previous 2 weeks. None of my 'friends' have called me to be sure how i've got been aside from one, and he's genuinely my purely ultimate chum who has continuously been there for me with the aid of thick and skinny. each time ANY of my friends are having concern, i'm suitable there, as a shoulder to cry on, I in specific situations ignore my very own needs as a fashion to be there for them! i've got only dealt with it with the aid of ignoring the others habit and attempting to maintain my head up, because of the fact it is a time in my existence the place i'm no longer able to concern approximately their strikes in direction of me because of the fact then i could have two times the load, and that i do no longer could desire to rigidity approximately it. it is person-friendly for others to wreck their friends because of the fact they do no longer placed themselves in one yet another's shoes adequate. they do no longer attempt to be sure the international with the aid of their chum's eyes, and in specific situations it makes them heartless. while you're handling this concern, only please understand which you're actually not on my own, and that i wish you the final! :)
2016-11-02 08:05:19 · answer #5 · answered by belschner 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your friend should have been true to himself. in the first place, why get involve with another when he've been in that engagement state? now he's in a mess he created but good that he chose to honor his commitment. he's sad, sure, it's his karma... but then, he should have straighten it out first... whom does he really want to spend his life with... if he committed to an engagement he couldn't get out with, then he has to be a man and face the consequences... either way, he must face his decision bravely and pay the price...
2006-07-18 19:31:26 · answer #6 · answered by VeRDuGo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave them alone, it's NOT your business! Let him figure it out for himself, and stop talking to him about it. You're feuling the fire! If nobody's fanning it, it will either go out, or it just might get bigger. Either way, let it go, it's something he's gotta do on his own. WITHOUT ANY HELP! When he brings it up, tell him it's on him and you don't wanna talk about it. If you're "friend" is you, man up and fiure it out~!
2006-07-18 19:26:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi there
stay out of it if you want to help him let him follow his hart
just be there for him and supot him in his chose,
he is going to need it if he breaks the engagemant
its a messy case thou but in time like this its when sombody needs friends
even if its just to talk too , just listen to him when he talks he will find his own answers
trust me
2006-07-18 19:41:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
is the 2nd g.f u.....rn't u....well what he did is right...he must choose for his 1st g.f...cpz he is now engaged...n the 1st one loves him..what's her fault...dear.....why shud she suffer......he made a gud decision.......its his mistake by having another affair.....instead of sticking to one....he shud suffer now...
2006-07-18 19:30:07 · answer #9 · answered by shiny_sweet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go with 2nd girl...
2006-07-18 19:25:52 · answer #10 · answered by michael k 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋