I am a heterosexual female and my boyfriend (of three years) and I would like to start a family some day without getting married. Can I get some feedback from other hetersexual couples who have done this? How does not being married affect things (i.e. children, relationship, etc...)? I've heard so many people say they were happy until they got married. Is it the marriage that ruins these relationships? By the way, we have been living together during most of our relationship.
2006-07-18 19:18:49 · 7 answers · asked by chiquita 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Being married shows the other that you have the commitment to stay around. Married people try harder to work things out and make the relationship work when something goes wrong. It's not the marriage that makes the relationship go wrong it's the couple not working things out and compromising. If they were not married they would have left earlier. Children feel more secure if mom and dad love each other enough to be married and it's easier on them when dealing with their friends. There will always be some people who will think less of your family if you are not married and why would you want to put your children through that? Marry for your children's sake.
2006-07-19 10:58:29 · answer #1 · answered by # one 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
!Oye Chiquita!
I will only say that starting a family raises things to a whole new level. I have been in a very similar situation, with a girlfriend of three years.
I implore you to read the book, Before You Live Together by David Gudgel. I am aware that you two have been living together for some time now, but the book insightfully addresses the correlation between love, sex, and marriage. It explains the importance of commitment, an idea that has come slowly to a dumb guy like me!
Think about it. If you do not get married but go ahead and have kids, it makes it that much easier for one of you to walk out and leave the kids behind. I will be a bit worried for you if this idea belongs to both of you. I would surely warn you if it started with him.
2006-07-19 02:34:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know people in this same situation, and it's not always too good if a problem occurs when there are children you have together. It also makes the child insecure in many cases, and it's easier for the partner to leave, because there was no marriage in the first place so no divorce will be involved. He or she just has to walk out the front door, maybe with the child.
2006-07-19 02:23:34 · answer #3 · answered by misty_blue2u 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No its the commitment and responsibility that ruins the marriage or any long term relationship. I personally don't see a difference but for a small piece of paper. If you get along well, you will likely make it whether you get married or not.
2006-07-19 02:24:28 · answer #4 · answered by Donna M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not think there is any problem with this. You should go ahead if you feel that he is the right person for you. However, be vary of the family pressures and things of your culture (some cultures are really different from the west). Living together as dating couple is a great thing to do. If you guys were ok as live-in mates, you should be ok as "partners" also.
2006-07-19 02:24:10 · answer #5 · answered by Isha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may get alot of negative vibes from religious bigots who preach about having kids outside of a marriage as a sin. Don't listen to them and don't let negativity influence your decision. Nothin wrong with having a family without being married.
2006-07-19 03:02:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i plan on adopting a child with my gay best friend if i do/do not get married..
2006-07-19 02:22:22 · answer #7 · answered by khukhu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋