We just had a bad thunderstorm and now I think I can hear the alien toads getting closer. What should I do???

Answer 1

Well, I sit on the porch with a cold beer and enjoy the music.
(I've heard if you lick the frog, you get a better buzz than from the beer alone.)

Answer 2

HOLY ****! Ok, let's stay calm. . .. How many condoms do you have? You'll need at least six. Tape them together in groups of three with scotch tape (duct tape won't work, trust me) so that they form a kind of cirlce. Now, slip your ear into the holes that are formed between the condom groups. DO NOT leave the lobe sticking out.
Done? All right, now get the biggest tube of crisco you can find and rub it into your hair. All of your hair. Make little spikes out of it if you can. Turn your shirt inside out.
Next, take some regular old plastic wrap and twist it onto your nose so that it forms a cone that's kind of arching downward. Some people will tell you to use foil, but it's not as effective. It does help if you have that purple plastic wrap.
Get the largest spatula you can find and attach a small stuffed animal to it (a green and pink zebra if you have it).
Start making a sound like a dying bird ("kkkkkkkkkkaaaaachchaaaakkkkaaaaaa!!") over and over agian.

These steps should make you appear to the toads as their natural predator, the blargag. Alien toads are petrified of these creatures.

NOTE: If this doesn't work, try throwing unpopped pop corn at them. Toads love corn.

Answer 3

Tell them that you know of a good pool where they can "hang" & have some BBQ snake( A little payback for them) & a few martinis.

Alien Toads get drunk really quickly and fall asleep for over 12 hours.... when they go into their golden slumbers, have the authorities help you to 'round them up! But dump any of that ganja you're smokin' before you call. Alien Toads are so gullible!

Answer 4

Wrap all your doorknobs in aluminum foil, it keeps them from opening your doors. Call your mom or dad and tell them that the Pickle Train is on the loose. This is code, the toads will not understand, but hopefully you have drilled with your parents, and they will understand. Stand inside a ring of cornstarch, holding up two beef hot dogs, and repeat the Gettysburg Address. If you can sucessfully pull this off, the toads will pass by your house, and just kill the first born of all the Egyptians in your neighborhood.

Answer 5

Go placidly amid the noise
And the haste and remember
What peace there may be in silence?

As far as possible without surrender
Be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly,
And listen to others,
Even the dull and ignorant,
They too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
They are vexatious to the spirit.
If you compare yourself to others
You may become vain or bitter,
For always there will be greater
And lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as
Your plans, Keep interested in
Your career however humble;
It is a real possession in the
Changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs,
For the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you
To what virtue there is;
Many persons strive for high ideals,
And everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself, especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
For in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
It is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years gracefully
Surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture the strength of spirit to shield you
In sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself
With imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue
And loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline,
Be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe, no less than the
Trees and the stars: You have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt
The universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you
Conceive him to be; and whatever your labours
And aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life,
Keep peace with your soul.
With all its shams, drudgery and
Broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Answer 6

Lock your doors, board up the windows, and quickly, hide in your basement!! Make sure that you have enough beer and supplies to last you for at least a few days! If your phone lines are still working, call a priest to come out and perform an exorcism, pronto!

Answer 7

Don't stand there man! Hop to it! And do it lightning quick. Don't be thunderstruck. Between cats and beavers and alien toads you are a virtual menagerie. Do you live in a zoo? You are such an animal.

Answer 8

First off make sure your tin foil helmet is in the on and locked position.

Then call your local shrink and ask for a room with pads and Thorazine.

Answer 9

alien toads make good frog legs.. fry em up;;

Answer 10

you guys got it all wrong! put the tin foil around the frogs! get the webber going and have a frog-be-que! pardon my french! good eating!