I need nothing but Adults to answer this question?

Question

Ok, I got married when I was 18 and I have been married for 13yrs Im not that happy but im staying in the relationship because i have kids and I do love my husband but I dont really think im in love with him any more. I dont wanna hurt his feelings.
On the other hand I have meet a very nice guy that I do like and wanna get 2 know better but he lives in another state and wants me to leave my marrige and go be with him and even though it is tempting I dont think I would or could do it. So I was wondering if anyone had any comments on the subject? Im 31 now

Answer 1

I know there’s something in the wake of your smile
I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yeah
you’ve built a love but that love falls apart
your little piece of heaven turns too dark

listen to your heart
when he’s calling for you
listen to your heart
there’s nothing else you can do
I don’t know where you’re going
and I don’t know why
but listen to your heart
before you tell him goodbye

sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile
the precious moments are all lost in the tide, yeah
they’re swept away and nothing is what is seems
the feeling of belonging to your dreams

listen to your heart
when he’s calling for you
listen to your heart
there’s nothing else you can do
I don’t know where you’re going
and I don’t know why
but listen to your heart
before you tell him goodbye

and there are voices
that want to be heard
so much to mention
but you can’t find the words
the scent of magic
the beauty that’s been
when love was wilder than the wind

listen to your heart
when he’s calling for you
listen to your heart
there’s nothing else you can do
I don’t know where you’re going
and I don’t know why
but listen to your heart
before you tell him goodbye

Listen to your heart....mm..mmm

I don’t know where you’re going
and I don’t know why
but listen to your heart
before you tell him goodbye

*listen to this song.. and youll know the answer...im serious!

Answer 2

Grow up u took a vow now live up to it, if ur not "in" love with him find ways to fall in love stop thinking the grass is greener on the other side cause im telling u , its not.. this other dude lives in another state.. what are u going to do.. Leave your husband and kids to go be with a man u hardly know???? or are u going to rip your kids from their father so u can persue another man????? Why on earth would u even consider killing your marriage especially when u still love your husband, ur just bored, and instead of actually putting work into making ur marriage better with ur husband ur going to believe in some dude that has ZERO feelings attached to ur family and could care less about the pain he is going to cause your family if u chose to be stupid and leave your husband?????????? GROW UP! sorry u were so young when u got married at 18 that u didnt get to have an adult life and now u have to suffer the consequences of your decisions, but why should a man that has been devoted to u, is obviously decent to u since your so worried about hurting his feelings.. so he must not be an azzhole.. why does he deserve to have his family pulled out from under his feet just because your not woman enough to handle your own bordom ???????????? Geeze all these women wishing they had a man that stood by them.. or that treated them nice.. ..and u have that and your willing to walk over a dude that lives in another state lol.. you dont deserve your husband..

Answer 3

First of all, if you've never met this guy, you're just falling in love with the idea of things being better. Besides, do you remember how you felt when you first got with your husband? It was new and it felt wonderful. That's what you're experiencing. If you don't love your husband, that's understandable and by no means should you stay in a marriage if you're unhappy. Not even for your kids. Because, in the end, they'll be unhappy too. So, find out ON YOUR OWN if you really want to end this marriage BUT NOT BECAUSE OF ANOTHER GUY. Find yourself and your happiness first, then after you divorce and find out how it is to leave alone, you can see if you really are ready for a new relationship.

You can use a guy to get out of bad marriage. It's not fair to anyone. Not you, not your husband, not the new guy.

Answer 4

Get divorced if you are not happy and especially if you have feelings or think you might for someone else. Divorce is a miserable thing to go through, which is why alot of people stay in a bad marriage because it is easier than going through all the intense emotions and everything like moving out, ect., ect. Age 18 is young to get married. People grow and change. You only live once. If you want out, don't waste anymore of your life being in an unhappy situation. If your kids are too little to understand, they will eventually when they realized you were unhappy and that is what you needed to do to be happy. Don't have an affair. You're kids will hate you for doing that to their dad, not to mention your husbands feelings(affairs always get found out) leave before it gets bad so you and your husband can remain on good terms for the kids. It is hard but I say follow your heart. Do it now why you're still young instead of waiting. Good Luck!

Answer 5

Honestly, why don't you talk to your husband about the way you feel? It sounds like the two of you have grown apart. He may be feeling the same way. It happens. People can still stay friends and be divorced. Don't talk about divorce just yet though. Just sit down one night when the kids are in bed and the stress level is down. I had this talk with my husband once too. We have been close ever since. We found out that there were things, emotionally, that were blocking the way of our growth in relationship. We worked them out and are very close and loving now. You have to have good communication for marriage. I made my husband promise that if he ever even thought about having an affair that he would talk to me first and then we could go our seperate ways if need be. I made that promise to him too. I don't think we tell each other everything but the important stuff like that we do. He has even told me when he was attracted to another woman.

Answer 6

It's a shame to throw 13yrs of your life away without talking to your husband. There is so much at risk here... take the time to think it through. If you move to another state, you'll be completely re-arranging your kids lives. I would say before you leave to be with someone that you barely know, maybe it would be a good idea to see if counselling would help. By the way you say "i don't really think i'm in love with him" tells me that you're not sure how you feel. Figure out how you feel about your marriage and about your husband and take it from there. I recommend following your heart once you're absolutely sure you know what you want.

Answer 7

I honestly think you should try marriage counselling or something before you do something that drastic, especially if there are kids involved. Now if he won't go for counselling and has totally alienated you, or is mean to you, or something like that that's different matter, but if it's just because things have gotten a little boring you owe it to both of you and your children to try to reignite the fire. It isn't unusual to find yourself attracted to someone else after being married that long (and that young) but this is quite often you attracted something new and exciting, not necessarily the person. Work on what you have first, then, if it is irreparable, get out. It's better not to leave because there's somebody else, if that goes wrong you'll always be wondering, what if you stayed? It's a tricky situation, I feel for you.

Answer 8

lets just say you left your husband for who you have been with for 13 yrs go through divorce (lets say its a very LONGGG process) not to mention aggravating!!! Known ALOT of friends who's went and going through it. Anyway, you go through all that MOVE what about your children?? Who's to say this NEW guy wont become a jerk or cheat on you down the road and then what???? If your husband has never cheated and treats you good then i think you should stay. If its not a bad relationship, but on the other hand do what your heart tells you and maybe right now you are thinking ummm change but sometimes change or a different scene isn't the best. Follow your heart and your ending statement you say you don't think you could or would. That should tell you, you really aren't ready. Good luck in whatever you decide!

Answer 9

Just remember that there will always be something enticing about a "different" situation. The guy is someone you don't know, from a different location, everything's different.

Try this, go on a short vacation with your husband, either on a cruise or to another country. The change in scenery will probably revitalize your feelings for him and make you see him in a light different from what you're used to.

Compare this to what you feel for the other guy, and see what you're left with.

I mean, sure a vacation takes planning and work, but you either save your 13 year marriage for the price of a cruise, or realize that the other guy IS better, and you get a second honeymoon before you end it all, right?

Answer 10

no one can give u the 'right' answer. There are so many uncertainties in life.

Sure, they say "take chances", "live your life so as not to leave any regrets". But there are many cheaters and swindlers also. (The 'nice' guy may not be that nice).

But he gives you the excited feeling, doesn't he? He makes your heart flutter, he keeps you smiling for no reason. Maybe it's not "him" that you like. It could be anybody. Maybe it's the excitement that you seek. 'He' represents an escape from your routines.

No one can predict the future. But I promise, many couples go through this stagnant stage.

Love is gone. Life is good but mundane, and predictable.
There are no more excitements between you and your husband. No more surprises.

But don't you think this stage will eventually surface even if you are with another person?

It takes effort to maintain a working marriage. Effort to create romance, excitement, surprises.

That's why so many people get married and divorced, over and over. Or affairs. Whatever makes their hearts flutter.

But, if you're looking for that constant loving feeling, that excitement, they never last. And you will switch from person to person.

But I'm not the best person to give u advice. After all, I am not married.

Answer 11

Wow, I can relate to your feelings and the reason you are still with you hubby.. well i think that we all go through stages in relationships and we all grow up . We change as adults also as women..we know exactly what we want. Any relationship your in will have things you dislike about them. Are you willing to start all over? Also the children are very important.They will be effected. If you would leave your husband it should not be for someone else it should be because it is your decision only. It is easy for another man to make you feel special and feel a spark it is all lust, although you might feel that you and this new man have many things in common.... I am sure there are other things you will not have in common. After 13 years of marriage things change sometimes. Talk to your husband or maybe think about counseling. I do not think it is normal for you to find happiness within another man. I am not sure if your present relationship is safe? Does your husband provide everything your family needs? Does he love you? Do you think someone else can love you more? I personally think if you do not desire to continue your marriage you should make your decision..but it should not be made based upon your feelings for another man.