A few months ago my daughter wanted to see what life would be like if she lived with her dad so she went there to live.
I find that she is loving and affectionate when she comes to visit me but when it comes time for her to leave she becomes physically withdrawn from me.
2006-07-18 16:55:41 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
It sounds like she loves both Mom and Dad very much and may need to build up some defenses in order to deal with having to leave you.
2006-07-18 17:01:15 · answer #1 · answered by Daphne 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
13 Is a confusing age for any child, it would seem that although she obviously loves you both her loyalties are split, when she prepares herself to go back to one or the other parent her reactions are potentially the same?
Have you tried asking her? or is there some one else, may be grandparent, close friend that has not taken sides when your split from her father took place, that she trusts?
I have been in this position, and can only say that if your patient, there is light at the end of the tunnel, and as long as you resist the urge to be confrontational then time will give you all the answers.
You both love her, and as long as you show her this by not over reacting, you will all get through, best wishes and give yourself a hug.
2006-07-18 18:42:53 · answer #2 · answered by valeire_bushell 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is missing her Mum and its perfectly normal. She loves her dad equally and perhaps sje doesn't understand why you guys aren't together anymore. My parents divorced when i was 8 and at the time i didn't have any choice.
Although I saw my dad twice a month but there was never any confusion and i suppose i never asked them why. At 13 this is a very tender age especially with school issues etc. Have you sat her down and spoken to her heart to heart? I think perhaps it may be a good idea. She doesn't want to have to choose- she wants to spend quality time with you both.
I think thats where the problem lies
2006-07-18 21:47:59 · answer #3 · answered by Scatty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speaking of confusion, there's no way to tell if you're the mom or dad with the convoluted way you asked this question.
In either case, if she's acting this way when it's time to "switch" parents, she's probably physically seperating herself as an outward sign that she's emotionally switching to the other caregiver. May not be pleasant, but if you've got to choose a coping mechanism that you have to deal with, that sounds like a pretty easy one.
2006-07-18 17:01:22 · answer #4 · answered by You'll Never Outfox the Fox 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I agree with "Zelda" the only way I could leave my dad to live with my mum for a few weeks was to completely cut contact with him, it was really hard, but if I didnt i'd be a nervous wreck when I had to go
2006-07-21 02:10:29 · answer #5 · answered by shadowrunneruk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is at a hard age. Try to talk more to her about her living situation and make sure everything is working out with her. Don't treat her like a child. She is growing up.
2006-07-18 17:01:45 · answer #6 · answered by noseygirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am the same as your daughter.I love my mum and dad so much.But do you think there's something more to it.?
2006-07-19 00:36:19 · answer #7 · answered by Honey 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think zelda is right.
2006-07-18 17:02:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋