Is it fair that women choose to keep the baby but the partner is required to pay child support regardless?

Question

This is hypothetical and doesn't apply to me or anyone I know.

Given that a couple have sex and the woman gets pregnant accidentally, they have a choice of having an abortion. Now, the man doesn't want a baby for whatever reasons it may be. However, the woman does not want an abortion. Given that she has the baby, the man will be required to pay child support. How is that fair considering he cannot partake in the choice of aborting the pregnancy? I realize it is her body and it's her choice, but she should raise the child without the support payments if she wants to keep it. However, this would only work if the man is against the pregnancy upto 1 month into pregnancy, but should pay child support if he changes his mind too late in the pregnancy.

This way, it is fair to men who get trapped into child support or parent hood by deceptive women, and innocent/victimized women still get child support if their partner leaves them with a child.

To the males: Given that the condom you chose to wear broke, and you were stuck in this situation. OR, she gave you a condom that she happened to put a hole in it. This may be farfetched, but WHAT IF?

Answer 1

I agree almost entirely, JUST because of deceptive women. I hate when women have a baby just to sucker the man into paying for it, which DOES happen, because often enough, child support payments are for much more than the child actually needs. Women can be very deceptive sometimes. Like if the woman just wants a kid and isn't interested in the man at all. She ties him down to 18 years of child support, which she could keep most of the money. If he sends $800 in child support, and only $200 is used for the child, the woman gets to keep that other $600 for herself which isn't really fair because the man probably has his own apartment to pay for, car insurance, other family, his own food, etc.

Although it wouldn't work out perfectly because the man might be against it, and so is the woman, but the woman doesn't believe in abortion. While adoption is always an option, some women can't do that (I know I wouldn't be able to. Knowing that kid is growing up thinking "my parents didn't want me, they didn't love me, I was going to mess up their lives, etc." would just crush me). But if the woman gets pregnant accidentally and really does want to keep the kid, the man shouldn't neccessarily be trapped into child support payments if he's against it all the way and isn't planning on keeping in touch anyway. It would be too hard on the child to see his dad in the form of a check each month instead of as a fatherly figure in his life. I would personally rather my mother raise me proudly on her own, then have my father send money each month and remind me each month about how he didn't want me. (Which wasn't the case for me, but that's how I would have prefered it if I had been in that situation).

This makes me think about Kanye West's song "Gold Digger" lol! If anyone's heard that song, you know what I mean. I'll post a couple lines just so people understand the type of "deception" you're/I'm talking about:

18 years, 18 years
She got one of yo kids got you for 18 years
I know somebody payin child support for one of his kids
His baby momma's car and crib is bigger than his
You will see him on TV Any Given Sunday
Win the Superbowl and drive off in a Hyundai
She was supposed to buy ya shorty TYCO with ya money
She went to the doctor got lipo with ya money
She walkin around lookin like Michael with ya money
Should of got that insured, GEICO for ya moneeey
If you aint no punk, holla We Want Prenup
WE WANT PRENUP!, Yeaah
It's something that you need to have
Cause when she leave yo butt she gone leave with half
18 years, 18 years
And on the 18th birthday he found out it wasn't his


(And for those of you that don't follow hip-hop lyrics well, that means that he was paying all this money for child support and the mother was using it for herself. And in the end he found out that it wasn't even his kid, the woman just used him to get more money because she wouldn't be able to get as much from the real father)


But in the long run, if a couple wants to have sex, they should both be prepared for any and all consequences, and if they're not, they're not ready to have sex. Men shouldn't go around impregnating women, and women shouldn't be going around letting themselves get impregnated then expecting to live off the guy's child support payments. If it's an honest mistake, the man should have SOME say in the case, but he shouldn't be in all ways cut off from his duty. He IS the father, and one day that child will want to meet him and have a relationship with him. He should be prepared.

Answer 2

No its not right!!! Why should the women have the option to have the abortion and the male just has to live with it? That's like if the women wants the abortion and the man doesn't, does the man get to keep his child? While the mother pays child support. No that doesn't happen some women can be such hypocrites. It is not the mans fault women have to carry the baby. That's gods doing, not ares. Everything happens for a reason. Theres every day stuff that men have to deal with to, just like women. What if the man and woman decide if they get pregnant they would have the abortion, but if the time comes she changes her mind. At least she had a choice. Some women want to complain about so much, but at least they can make that choice were men can not. We just got to live with it.

This is what I have to say. If the man has no right or say over which the baby is born and women want to be hyprocrites then take away the aportion and make a law against it. If she wants to give her child up for adoption let her make child support payments. Because the same can be said about her as is said about the man. You make your bed know sleep in it. I dont care if you have to carry the baby or not. You should have thought about that when you were not useing protection. It is not like us men one day decided, oh yeah I dont feel like carrying the baby lets make women do that.
If you dont like that go to church and ***** to God.

Answer 3

No matter how you cut it, if a guy doesn't want a child, he better either rethink his sleeping around or make sure he is always protected. A woman is the one that gets pregnant and has that burden. It changes everything for her, but really nothing for him. Yes, it is her decision because it is her body, not his. He won't have to get the abortion, deal with the possible physical problems, but more importantly the emotional backlash. So, if a guy is concerned about child support, best to keep his pants zipped and live a higher life. This 'trapped' garbage doesn't hold water, who's trapped? Guys are the dogs that usually push women into the bedroom, so tell me who is the one getting trapped there? Hmmm???? I say, he pays for any child he fathers until the child is 18, period.

Answer 4

Yes it is absolutely fair for the woman to recieve child support if the man does not want the pregnancy or child. Poor planing leads to decisions no one wants to make. The man could have used a condom, the woman could have used any number of forms of contraceptive.. The decision is made for you both from the moment of conception. That is when life begins.. when egg meet sperm. And once the child is born it may desperately need the support the father is paying. A child should not have to go without because their parents were irresponsible.
Safe sex... is the real answer here

Answer 5

Until we can improve on methods of immaculate conception whereby we no longer need a man to create a pregnancy, that man is 50% responsible for bringing that baby into the world. You need to put the shoe on the other foot. Would it be fair if that same man tried to avoid child support obligations by writing off his parental rights, for example (which you may be suggesting), then less then 24 hours later, impregnates another woman who in turn decides not to abort ... and would it be fair to allow this man to continue putting his instrument into the wrong holes without paying the price? How would this be responsible?

Answer 6

if the male didnt want to have a child he should have abstained from sex. a fetus is a life and should never be disregarded and if had the child should be taken care of , the male chose that chance. i personally think both the man and woman should make the decision of life. this is the sign of people who think consiquinces are somthing for other people and not for themself its the moral fabric in which this country was built on and its the single key in whichholds this country together....you wrote that as if you actually believe this would work..?

" if you cant do the time dont do the crime" a real man knows this and pondering all sorts of ways out and schemes instead of saying what can i do to not get in to a spot like this would be more productive morally effective......


people raise your boys to be men not just boys in a mans body
and your girls need to know how to be a lady ( not just woman) and the word lady is soooooooooooo not used correctly some females think its a title they have aright to just becuase they have busts and know how to have sex.......

Answer 7

is it fair that women get pregnant and men don't? is it fair that women have to make that agonizing decision? is it fair that they both consensually agreed to have sex and then only one has a physical consequence? if you have sex, you should be ready to support a child. period. no one is stupid enough to think that any kind of sex is 100% pregnancy fool proof. then again, is it fair to a child who was conceived this way? is it fair to have a prat for a dad? is it fair to have a mom who doesn't provide a stable home? that baby should be up for adoption. then no one has to worry about abortion or child support.
someone further down said that a man doesn't get any say if a woman chooses to abort but that is not true. in most states a man can petition the courts to disallow an abortion of a fetus that is proven to be his.

Answer 8

you want the sex you take the chance of getting pregnant. we all have the rights to do with our bodies as we wish. since the woman wants the baby as many feel its apart of them and want to keep it. there never has been a challenge of any law that the man doesn't have any rights as the woman has more than the man. its never been put to challenge to the supreme court.

Answer 9

Absolutely not. There is no way a woman should the option to terminate her pregnancy.

Answer 10

nope, its not fair. Then again, life in America is really all about navigating the muddy waters of double standards. In other words, life is not fair.