I had an argument with a friend over something stupid but I think she and I both said some things that were offensive. I tried to apologize and move forward but she is ignoring me. I feel really hurt now and I didn't even start this argument. How do I move forward and past this hurt?
2006-07-18 16:39:51 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
1/st of all, go to the public library in your town. If you don'ty have a library card, apply for one. Check out some movies(witch ever you have-DVD, or VHS); TAKE HOME SOME COMEDIES TO WATCH ALONE!!! IT'S ALWAYS TO WORK THIS TYPE PROBLEM BY YOURSELF!!!
You've done your part to resolve the problem, there don't telephone/email/or write her; it will only make the problem even bigger!!! If she is to resolve the problem, she'll do it because she values you as a friend that she doesn't want to lose!!!
Please email me your responce to my wisdom to you at petroslove@yahoo.com
Sincerely yours,
Milton Kent Chalifoux
2006-07-18 18:07:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She might need a little more time to see that you both said things in anger that you both regret. Keep the lines of communication open so that she knows you are ready when she is willing to resume the friendship.
If you really feel that it is beyond repair, or it turns out that way, it will hurt for awhile. The deeper the friendship was the more it will hurt and make you sad that it's over. That's all normal. It's a grieving process. But like all processes, there is a beginning, middle, and eventually an end. The pain will lessen until one day you will be left with memories and that's all.
I'm sorry for you and your friend that this happened. Learn from it and be wiser.
Good luck little one.
2006-07-18 23:46:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry you are feeling hurt. Do your best to remedy the situation. you said you tried to apologize, that's a great start. Do the best you can with the situation.
If she stops ignoring you, great. you can take it forward from there and both need to forgive each other and yourselves.
If she still ignores you, make peace with that. at least you did everything you could and you wont look back one day and say "I wish I had done something more." Who knows? maybe time will take care of it all. Remember to forgive her, but also forgive yourself. As long as you've done your part, don't beat yourself up over what happened in the past.
My best wishes to you.
2006-07-18 23:52:14 · answer #3 · answered by FaithinJude 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All conflict is an opportunity for us to learn something about ourselves. If you examine what issue in your argument caused the hurt you will see what your own beliefs about your self are. Things that are said by others only hurt us when at some level we believe them. If you did not believe some of what she said your response would have been to allow her to vent knowing that it was her own pain that made her lash out at you.
Leave her alone while she works through her own stuff, I'm sure it will blow over, you apologising should have let her know that you are there if she needs you. People work through things in there own time.
I hope it all works out well for you. Take Care.
2006-07-18 23:59:39 · answer #4 · answered by Intuitive_vortex 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well maybe its her fault, she knows that it was dumb but she doesnt want or know how to apologize. Is there any thing deeper than the one argument that may be bothering her? I would just dust ur shoulders and move on, tell her if she cant be a bigger person and apologize or except yours then she's not mature enough to be your friend :)
2006-07-18 23:44:30 · answer #5 · answered by navigator_girl_1982 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have already apologized.. no worries.
That happened to a really good of mine, and myself. Oh my, did she take it to extremes! I apologized, sent her some cute emails.. but, the friendship never truly recovered. We do talk once in a blue moon now, but it definitely is not the same. I have no desire to go through that again, and am tired of walking on so many eggshells.
Maybe you could send her a small token of friendship.. Or bake some cookies and invite yourself over..
2006-07-18 23:47:14 · answer #6 · answered by sassy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try one last apology and if she doesn't respond, move on with your life and make other friends.
I had one friend that changed religion 6 times in one year. She asked my opinion about her last change and I said that she was part of the religion of the month club. She did not forgive me and we haven't spoken in 20 years. Yes I should have been more tactful but I was upset about her getting involved with a cult.
2006-07-18 23:46:20 · answer #7 · answered by redunicorn 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time heals a lot of stuff. Try it again in awhile. Some people like to hold grudges. If she doesn't want to in a few days or weeks, do some self talk and realize she wasn't a true deep friend. Good luck
2006-07-18 23:45:17 · answer #8 · answered by GP 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgiveness is the key ingredient...... loving someone unconditionally, and know you are loved in return. That is why it hurts so much, because you want so much for her to accept you and love you the way you are. Know that it is not you, but her that is the broken one if you say you're sorry and she doesn't forgive you. SPEAK UP AND HAVE COURAGE
2006-07-18 23:50:28 · answer #9 · answered by planetjanetjesus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgive. Especially when it isn't deserved. Forgiveness frees us from the pain that we inflict upon ourselves everytime we remember something unpleasant.
In this particular case, remember that you were friends before, and that in time you will probably be friends again.
2006-07-18 23:47:24 · answer #10 · answered by Gideon 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋