She is very open minded about things and is really wild, but I think she's holding herself back. Any suggestions? Not looking for whips and chains, but a BJ or some back door would be nice again some time. She has done these things and enjoyed them, but gets ashamed or weird after and says it's something she doesn't think she wants to do again. What does that mean. And ladies, before you jump on me, I'll let you know that I attend to her special needs often and well. I just want her to lose her inhibitions a bit more.
2006-07-18 16:15:47 · 7 answers · asked by Jester 2 in Health ➔ Women's Health
You should tell her that she shouldn't feel weird because making love is a special thing and you shouldn't be ashamed of it. That's what my b/f said to me and it worked. If it doesn't maybe you want to bring some x rated videos and maybe she will see something and want to try it. Having a few drinks to loosen up works too. And if she really doesn't want to do it respect her choice and maybe one day she will be willing. Good luck
2006-07-18 16:28:57 · answer #1 · answered by butterfly7583 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when my husband wants to get me "wild" he gets me slightly drunk (wine works good for me, makes me giddy and horny, and up for ALMOST anything). I like it that way too, because I think it DOES allow me to do the things I like and want to do, but wouldnt because I feel self conscience. Don't like that idea? Well, you're going to have to be gentle about coaxing her into things, don't pressure her or you'll backfire and she'll close up on you, tell her when she does something experimental and new that you liked it and it REALLY turned you on, and she should do it more often, it will give her the confidence to do it again and maybe take it further. As far as things she does, and seems to enjoy and then later seems to regret, WELL... it may have to do with what she thinks as inappropriate, or dirty, in the heat of the moment her hormones are in control and she's not thinking about what's proper just what feels good, and that's obviously where you WANT her to be, there's nothing to be ashamed about what turns us on and what feels good (l personally get turned on by a little bit of pain, which logically to me doesn't make sense, but hell if it gets me into orgasm, who care!) If after an act, she does that acting weird and says she doesn't want to do it again, be upfront with her, ask her why? ask her if it FELT good, and if she says yes ask her why she doesn't want to do it again? You're her husband and she should feel comfortable talking to you about her sex life, her fantasies and everything else, if not you then who??? IF you are newly weds then the good news is that over time she will feel more and more confident with you on her own and get more experimental and all that feeling funny about taking pleasure in "odd" things will fade. For now try alcohol (if you and she are "cool" with that), not too much, you want her to be loosened up and relaxed, not so drunk she doesn't remember or enjoy the experience.
2006-07-18 16:31:15 · answer #2 · answered by Kat__hleen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Courageous? Is there something fearful in bed she needs to stand up to?
Sounds like she's willing to try new things, but if they aren't her cup of tea she just doesn't feel like she should do them again.
You should stop being the person to come up with new ideas to bounce off of her. That's a one-way street and soon you'll run out of ideas. A relationship is about mutual trust and ideas. Ask her to come up with ideas, or to perhaps tell you her fantasies. But prep her first--don't just spring it on her.
Good luck.
2006-07-18 16:21:07 · answer #3 · answered by PermDude 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like I am very similar. I will do those things but go funny after... It makes you feel dirty & wrong doing those things. I don't care what anyone says...
2006-07-18 16:18:29 · answer #4 · answered by Dasher 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very simple............... don't tell us......... tell her! Although for me, advice #1 would be that you don't insist about asking on something she feels ashamed or weird doing. Good luck!
2006-07-18 16:29:06 · answer #5 · answered by silviux 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
got to discuss it with her and make her feel that no answer she gives is a wrong answer or one that will disappoint you. make her feel very comfortable about being completely open and honest.
2006-07-18 16:18:56 · answer #6 · answered by J Somethingorother 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a new wife
2006-07-19 13:24:12 · answer #7 · answered by MaryAnn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋