how can i get my wife to be more affectionate?

Answer 1

Pay attention to her. Respond to her needs and spoil her a little bit. Good luck man.

Answer 2

Life seems to be a system of checks and balances, when I am feeling extra affectionate my husband doesn't and vice versa. I know it is not a game or contest, but try backing off so she has an opportunity. Try a romantic night with massages, draw her a bubble bath. Help her around the house and with kids if you have them more. Make her feel attractive throughout the day - and this does not necessarily include touching. Try complimenting her, communicating. Anyway, some people are more affectionate by nature than others. When she is affectionate do not interpret it as you are automatically getting lucky, but TELL HER how it makes you feel (i.e. when you hug me I feel loved, fortunate, secure, whatever). Appreciate it. Maybe she shows her love and affection in a way you are not recognizing. Ask her to let you know what she does to show her affection/love. Maybe she shows her affection by asking how your day was, making your supper, packing your lunch, cleaning the house and doing your laundry, whatever.

Answer 3

First response is to say "yeah! be more affectionate back...." but honestly that may not be the solution here. I think you should just be honest with her - remind her of the importance of your marriage and the meaning of the vows you two took on your wedding day - tell her that this is an area in your marriage that you would like to change and that you feel somewhat neglected...She has two options - she can be defensive and point out your faults (which you can then fix and then she'll have no choice but to become affectionate after all your hard work) or she can be sincerely apologetic and then there you go!

Answer 4

Speaking from a newlywed wife's point of view, it can be hard. I love my husband soooo much, but sometimes I am a grouchy person. I am borderline emotionally abusive, I'd think. I'm trying to change.

I've been researching this, and here's a couple things you could do: give her hugs once in a while. Not the hug from behind and grab her boobs kind of hug, but a loving hug that says, "I'm here for you, and I love you." Do it for about 6 seconds to overcome any awkwardness (especially if you guys don't do it much). Give her a kiss on the cheek and walk away - just to show her you're thinking of her. Give her little notes to tell her how much you love her - cute things. Do nice favors for her - "let me take care of that..." Smile at her when she looks at you.

Don't belittle her for not being affectionate, and don't go "smile for me!" because that's just annoying. We're not babies.

In my family, you were affectionate because you wanted something, and so my family really wasn't "warm" and I think that bleeds into my marriage. I'm trying to learn that affection is a way of showing love - what it's supposed to do! It'll come along, it just takes time.

Answer 5

Do you have kids? Does she work outside the home? How is her health? Maybe by the end of the day, she's exhausted.

Fact: Men are stronger than women. They were made that way for a reason. Even tho' you've worked all day, I bet you still have energy left over.
Help the lady out. Give the kids a bath or read them their bedtime story. Fold the laundry or do the dishes. Give her some time to herself. You'd be surprised what a little help & appreciation can do!

Answer 6

Try being affectionate towards her first.

If you've already tried that, try talking *with* her, ask questions and just listen, don't try to solve anything unless she asks you to.

Do something around the house without having to be asked. Do it again. Keep doing it until it becomes a habit. DON'T seek acknowledgement that you've been doing it.

Remember some of the things you used to do when you were courting her. Try some of them again. Try something new.

Relationships take work, by both parties. Often we forget that, and fall into a rut. Somehow you need to get your relationship out of that rut.

Good luck!

Answer 7

Be her partner and her friend - on a regular basis, not just when you want affection from her. Think about what your life was like when her affection was there all the time. Did she change? Did you change? Did something about your lives change? Is there something you can do to get back to the way things used to be?

I'm glad to hear that you are concerned enough to want to be closer to your wife and I hope she is responsive to your efforts. It may take awhile, but be patient and don't give up!!!

Answer 8

OMG are there more men like you? You could be with me and I could give you all the affection you need. LOL. No really, talk to your wife over a romantic dinner, when you do something she may want to reciprocate. If you can not get through to her maybe you may need some professional help.

Answer 9

Be a gentleman and show her that she is the most important person/friend/lover to you ....... let her know some true feelings I.E. how she smells good, how you love the way she kisses, how when she looks at you time stops etc but only tell her these things if they are true ...true feeling other wise she will see right through you and will take it as a tactic for you to get in her pants

Answer 10

Gifts are lovely but when it comes to affection, you get what you give. Be kind to her. Listen to what she has to say. Ask her how her day went. The small things make such a huge difference. The very fact that you're asking is a big deal - good for you and I wish you luck.

Answer 11

Diamonds