Tell me a good joke!?

Answer 1

There are 3 blondes and a burnett. The first blonde tryed 2 swim but drowned. The second blonde tryed 2 build a raft but it sank. The third blonde tryed to call her friends but decided 2 meet up at the mall in 5 minutes. The burnett laughs at them while she walks across the bridge

Answer 2

Two factory workers were talking.
"I think I'll take some time off from work." said the man.
"How do you think you'll do that?" said the blonde.
He proceeded to show her...by climbing up to the rafters, and hanging
upside down.
The boss walked in, saw the worker hanging from the ceiling, and asked
him what on earth he was doing?
"I'm a light bulb" answered the guy.
"I think you need some time off," said the boss.
So, the man jumped down and walked out of the factory.

The blonde began walking out too.
The boss asked her where did she think she was going?

The blonde answered, "Home, I can't work in the dark".

Answer 3

One day God told his favorite angel he was going to destroy earth because there were too many things that bothered him. He said he was tired of all the bad acts humans did.
The angel begged God to allow him to come to earth for 3 days. He asked if he could make a list of good things and bad things people did. He asked if the good list out weighed the bad, would God give earth another chance. God agreed!
Three days later the angel returned to God and told him he had good news. "There is more good then bad, you do not have to destroy earth!" The angel then looked down and said, "There is one thing that bothers me! Too many people have anal sex!" God agreed with the angel and they decided to send a plaque of merit to those who did not have anal sex.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE PLAQUE SAID?????

Answer 4

Check out my blond guy joke

Answer 5

Fortune Teller says - "You are about to be discovered by a big movie producer and will soon be a star."
Teenager says - "But that's the same thing you told my friend Loren."
Fortune Teller - "I can't help it. You girls nowadays just won't be satisfied with anything less."

Answer 6

An Asian couple had a blond haired baby.
They called it Sum Tem Wong

Answer 7

The President, First Lady and Dick Cheney were
> flying on Air Force One.
>
> George looked at Laura, chuckled and said, "You
> know, I could throw a
> $1,000 bill out of the window right now and make
> somebody very happy."
>
> Laura shrugged her shoulders and replied, "I could
> throw ten $100
> bills out of the window and make ten people very
> happy."
>
> Cheney added, "That being the case, I could throw
> one hundred $10
> bills out of the window and make a hundred people
> very happy."
>
> Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes
> and said to his
> co-pilot, "Such big-shots back there. Hell, I could
> throw all of them
> out of the window and make 56 million people very
> happy.

Answer 8

Three men are standing in line to get to heaven. When it comes their turn, St. Peter says- "we only have one slot left today boys, so i'll grant it to whichever one of you had the worst day when he died" so the first guy steps into Peter's office and says-
"i was trying to get some fresh air and exercise at the same time, so i had the dumb idea of doing lunges on my 83rd story balcony- and you guessed it, i slipped and fell. The worse part about it is, i grabbed onto the balcony below me and was going to pull myself to safety, when this guy comes out and starts banging my fingers with a hammer. So then i really fell, but i landed in the bushes and was very bruised and broken, but still very much alive. But that same guy came out onto his balcony with a refrigerator and threw the damn.....um i mean darn thing down on me and killed me. It was horrible!!!!"

"Damn!!" St Peter said. "wait outside. Next!!"

So the next guy comes in and says

"i came home to my 82nd floor apartment and i knew my wife was cheating. i could smell the sex in the air!! so i looked all over for the bastard....umm jerk, and the clever guy was hanging off of my balcony hiding from me. so i got a hammer and pounded his fingers till he let go. but do u know he landed in the bushes and lived?? well i wasn't standing for that!! so i somehow grabbed my fridge and dragged it out onto the balcony and mustered the strength to throw it down on him. it worked that time!!"

peter immediately pushed the trap door button and sent the man to the appropriate place.

the next guy had already stepped in "so", peter said "what's your story?"

"well", the man said frowning "imagine you're hiding in a refrigerator...."

Answer 9

there are 3 tomatoes the baby is falling behind and the goes back an sqashs the baby an says kecatchup

Answer 10

THREE GUYS shipwrecked on a deserted island find a magic lamp. A genie pops out and says, "I'll grant each of you one wish."
THE FIRST MAN says, "I want to go back home." He disappears immdiately.
THE SECOND MAN says,"I want to go home too." He also disappears.
Now the THIRD MAN feels lonely. He says, "I want my 2 friends back to keep me company!"