LONG QUESTION, but I really want help. Please answer if you are LDS, especially if you're married.?

Question

I'm 18 and I'm LDS. I want to serve a 2-year mission. I have 11 months left until I can leave. I want to try to date/marry my best friend, we'll call her 'Carol,' when I come home. Carol has had this platonicfriend, 'Frank', who leaves for his mission next week, (which means he'll be back before I am) for three years. Carol and I have been dating since September of last year. Carol and I have done things that the LDS church deems inappropriate, but we've tried to work it out.Carol has promised Frank she won't be married before he comes home from his mission, and I asked her why I don't get special privileges like that and she said it's because we've messed up. Carol saved me from committing su.icide (she doesn't know that) and is the best friend I've ever had. We did inappropriate things again today and I'm afraid she's going to abandon me. I am trying to salvage this relationship, but I can't figure out how to stop messing up like we do. I've tried everything! Am I going to lose her?

For Lindasue: We tried the bishop thing earlier in the year. We kept messing up. She had this same problem with a previous boyfriend; she abandoned him and he is serving faithfully in Switzerland. It's not TOO big of a problem, the worst did not happen. I am struggling with my testimony. If I can have her, I want her. I am not going to miss my mission. I've been planning on it since forever. Am I going to be able to salvage this relationship? How do I make the most out of the next 11 months?

Answer 1

HI I AM LDS AND HAVE DONE THE THINGS YOUR TALKING ABOUT MY SELF AND EVEN THOW IT MAY BE RONG IT IS SOMETHING THAT ONLY YOU AND GOD CAN WORK OUT.ABOUT YOUR FRIEND IF YOU LIKE HER THAT MUCH YOU NEED TO TELL HER AND COME CLEEN WITH HOW YOU FEEL AND IF SHE REALLY LOVES YOU THAN SHE WILL TELL YOU AS FOR YOUR FRIENDSHIP THAT IS SOMETHING YOU WILL NEVER LOSE NO MATTER WHAT MY BEST FRIEND HAS BEEN THE ONE I DID THOSE THINGS WITH AND IT HAS BEEN 15 YEARS AND WE STILL DO EVERYTHING TO GATHER THE WAY FRIENDS SHOULD.I HAVE ALSO TRYED SU ASIDE TRUST ME IT IS NOT THE WAY TO GO BEING LDS YOU KNOW THAT WONT GET YOU WHERE YOU WANT TO BE THERE IS HELP OUT THERE IF YOU NEED IT AND IF YOU JUST NEED A FRIEND TO LISON THAN IF YOU WOULD LIKE E-MAIL ME AT [e-mail] ok i would love to help you anyway i can.i have done some rong things in life but i have done a lot of right things too and i am shoure that you have done a lot of good in your life too.i hope this helps you out at lest a little.

Answer 2

Nick,
First, you need to talk with your Bishop. NOW. It would be a good idea for you to take Carol in with you. He may be able to help you work out your problem, but if you have to BIG of a problem, you may just have to forget the mission and get married before Frank gets back. Listen to the bishop. Have the courage to do what is right.
One of the worst things you can do is to lie in your interviews and go on a mission without a full confession of what has gone on. Your mission will be a living HELL and you won't last for the full two years, promise.

Answer 3

u have lost her, she is using u to get that inappropriateness out of her system but it's the other guy she hangs on to. if u stay around u will only start feeling more worst and she will keep using u as her scape goat of why she is so naughty. leave her and start fresh with a lady that will return ur caring feelings and also get help, if u haven't already therapist sounds real good right now.

Answer 4

don't try to control her. it is meant to be, it will happen. God has a plan for your life, let it unfold without trying to control how it happens. The times when we try to control what WE want is when things go wrong..ALL things work for your greater good even if they seem painful at the time. Lost love means a better love somewhere down the line for you.

As for 'inappropriate' behavior...we all fall short, every day, in various ways. Only your faith in God and His grace will carry you through.