Why get married...?

Question

just to end up reiterating the old, overused line i-wish-i-can-turn-back-time and getting a home hit everytime the oh-it's-sad-to-belong-to-someone-else-when-the-right-one-comes-along is being played?

just to end up reiterating the old, overused line i-wish-i-can-turn-back-time and getting a home hit everytime the oh-it's-sad-to-belong-to-someone-else-when-the-right-one-comes-along is being played?

Answer 1

Judging from the extended part of your question, I assume you are speaking of traditional marriage in which a man and woman pledge to be monogamous until they die. I can’t realistically answer on behalf of humanity, so I will just tell our personal story. Neither my wife nor I expected to get married. We both knew that a commitment to life-long monogamy would be a sort of emotional and spiritual poison for us because it would require us to sacrifice our sanity and self-worth by conforming to a system that we both felt was an oppressive hold-over from ancient times when women were property (and everything feminine was seen as either inferior or evil – but that’s another story). Nevertheless, my wife (who was, of course, not yet my wife at that time) needed the sense of emotional security that comes with marital commitment – not commitment to monogamy, but commitment to life-long partnership. So we got married with the full expectation that we would eventually open our relationship to non-monogamy, and after 4 years of what I call “honeymoon” monogamy (where you are just so caught up in “new relationship energy” that you have no motivation to think erotically beyond the pair-bond), we opened our marriage to swinging and polyamory. This is exactly the best path for us. We love each other more deeply each day, and our lives are vibrant with erotic energy. People cast a lot of stones, but they just don’t have a clue. They think that their limited imaginations somehow define the limits of all human behavior – as if WE couldn’t possibly be happy and fulfilled because THEY cannot imagine being happy sharing their mate. What they don’t understand is that we don’t own each other, so in sharing each other, we lose nothing, but we gain the joy of knowing that we are living true to each other, and true to ourselves, despite the scorn of mainstream society. Bottom line: We got married because we found a way to make the institution conform to us and contribute to the growth of our relationship. This, I think, is far better than us conforming to the institution and letting other people’s expectations deaden our adventurous spirits.

Answer 2

Dear Lioness,

I'm not completely clear on all of that but would like to address the basic question, "Why get married...?"

Getting married is a commitment between two people and not something to be rushed into. It means you agree to work through things together and remain dedicated to having a successful long-term relationship.

Unfortunately, some people are unwilling to do what it takes to maintain a healthy relationship. They end up miserable but that doesn't mean you have to. Many people who have divorced parents are concerned they too will have an unhappy marriage. That doesn't have to be the case. Make your marriage all you want it to be. Find someone who has the same passion and concerns as you. Discuss these concerns as communication is key.

Obviously, finding the right person. You can't change people so make certain you are willing to live with their quirks.

Although you are a couple you cannot survive as a couple. You need to retain your individuality. It is you individuality / personality who makes you who you are. Sometimes the concern with individuality is actually a lack of trust in the other, so one tries to control the other. You must have absolute trust in each other. However, if either abuses that trust then it is over. No second chances. No excuses. It's over.

Think positively and keep smiling.

Take Care,

Answer 3

I'm sorry that you're so damaged, but here's my opinion. Why the hell not get married at some point in your adult life? People get married because they fall in love and when you're in love, you want nothing but to be with that person for the rest of your life, to share a life together and even start your own family. People also do it for practicality (sharing finances, etc.). Really, who wants to be alone their whole life? That doesn't seem like a very happy way to live to me. Besides, everybody will end up "old and retired, and wishing they could turn back time," married or not. Wouldn't it be even worse to be old and lonely? Not everybody feels the need to whore around their whole sad lives pretending they are happy, so instead of criticzing just accept other's choices and live your life. Nobody will force you to get married, so don't worry about it.

Answer 4

Well I guess if you have to ask the question "why get married" then maybe marriage isn't for you. Marriage is a commitment of friendship for eternity. When all your friends are married or gone and your kids are grown, there will still be that one person there who will always be by your side. Also, marriage should be based on trust, commitment and the feeling of freedom that your spouse will not judge you, but love you for who you are.and what you do, (including your faults). Now, you maybe able to find this without being married, however, marriage is just a another step to take to reinforce the fact that you love this person and want to share your life and experiences with them. Life is a journey, why travel alone?

Answer 5

I used to be against marriage. I thought what's the point but now that I'm getting older, I like having a husband and children. I know, I know it's cause I can't party anymore so might as well enjoy family life and couple things but I really am happy being married.

Answer 6

To get Tax Breaks... and to be seen as a couple in the Law's eyes so if yall are ever both stuck in a rest home yall get to share a room if yall want, people who aren't married don't get that choice...
Oh and they don't get the tax breaks either...

Um, I'm not really sure what else... other then personal reasons, spiritual reasons, or/and religious reasons...

:)
Me and my BF live happily together, and we're not married...
Don't have the funds anyways to get married, so why bother till we got enough money to do so... (same issue with even havin' kids, I aint got no money to support them, so why have them now LOL)

Answer 7

Well, if that is your mindset going into marriage, then no doubt, you'll be singing those tunes. Marriage is difficult enough, even when it's your soul mate (I assume, not being married myself), negativity should be avoided at all costs, give the marriage every chance possible of lasting. After all, if you don't believe in it, then why do it? (no need to answer, it's a rhetorical question)

Answer 8

Love... forget about love. Look for compatibility. Relationships are like. You have to keep throwing fuel in there to keep it going. After so long, you either run out of fuel, or get too tired to keep adding it. In that case, you wouldn't want to sleep somewhere that it's cold right? Looks fade, love fades. Get married to someone you get along with, for the tax break.

Answer 9

You can't take it with you. You might as well leave it to somebody. And you love solving problems because they make you feel alive. In other words, you like the image of being married even if it make life more difficult for you.

Answer 10

One gets married because they want to enter into a pact with another person for the rest of their lives. Whatever that pact may be.