I'm going to be 18 this year I really love my boyfriend but I don't want to have a baby yet so I want to say (NO) but I don't want him to leave me either cause i love him what shoyuld i do??
2006-07-18 13:16:55 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Women's Health
I was in the same exact boat as you, except I chose to have sex. I am 17, and I felt the same exact way as you do about my boyfriend.
I honestly regret doing it. I thought that he wanted to have sex with me, and if I did he would be happier. I was wrong. A few weeks later we had a conversation about it, and I found out that he really didn't care about the sexual part of our relationship. Sure, it is a plus, but it also has its downsides.
Its miserable sitting around waiting for your period when its 2 days late, praying that you aren't pregnant, and I also felt so guilty after we had done it.
We aren't having sex anymore, and I've found that we are actually closer now that we have sat down and talked about everything.
So my advice to you is don't do anything until you and your boyfriend sit down and have an honest talk. It may be painful or hard to talk about, but trust me it WILL be worth it. And if after you have that long talk you still want to have sex with him, go for it. Just make sure you have protection.. but don't let him make you feel forced into anything. Just remember.. it is your body!
2006-07-18 15:42:15 · answer #1 · answered by EmmaLee 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I am a Christian so obviously I'm going to say no, wait till you are married!!!!!
But before you assume I'm some prude, I can speak from experience. I have messed up in the past and not been pure before marriage. And it is the worst feeling in the world.
Even if you aren't Christian, sex is a very special and intimate act, (even oral). You will feel attached to that person more and more by doing it, but it is not a healthy attachment. Plus if he leaves you or you get sick of him, you will regret it. Sex will not keep you together. True love and respect for each others purity and bodies will keep you together. If he doesn't care enough about you as a person to stay with you regardess, then he is only a horny guy who wants your body and can't keep it in his pants.
I'm sure you love him, and he may love you too. BUT, a baby could not be the only consequences of sex. Emotional stress, depression, STD's, and sorrow are all posibilities as well.
I only say this because I can speak from experience. Stay strong, and ask him to prove his love to you by waiting.
You won't regret it, ever.
2006-07-18 20:27:22 · answer #2 · answered by Thomas H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a man and what I've seen is that girls who have sex too soon end up regreting it. For women it is a very important moment and want to share it on a special occasion with someone special. For men it's nothing "special", it's just pure sex, we are very very hot, especially as teenagers, so don't think he'll remember as a sweet moment as you'll probably will. I know you love your boyfriend, but I can feel that you will do it only to please him and you'll regret it.
I would advice to wait, if he trully loves you he will understand. However I must say that you are still very young, wait, you won't regret it. I'm not saying necessarily that you must be sure that the man you're gonna have sex with is the man you're gonna marry.
Just wait, when the moment comes to give yourself to a man, YOU WILL KNOW IT! And then you will be satisfied with your decision, because it was YOUR decision!
Good luck!
P.S.: If you want to avoid a baby ask him to use protection and use it yourself as well. Never have unprotected sex!!!
2006-07-18 20:32:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, please don't do it! I've been through this before, especially when I was your age. I had sex when I was your age thinking it would make the guy stay with me. It never does! Guys don't think the same as women as far as sex goes. To guys it's no big deal, and to women, it's highly emotional. LIke the other poster said, if you have to ask for advice, then you aren't ready. If he loves you, he will understand and won't leave you. Just remember you are young, and there is plenty more guys out there that will respect you, your body, and your decisions.
2006-07-18 20:30:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your question boils down to this answer for me: If you're afraid that he'll leave you if you don't have sex with him, then he's shown you that there is no way that he is even remotely worthy of giving that level of yourself to him. No worthwhile guy who loves you would think of leaving you because you respect your body. A worthwhile guy would think even more of you because of it.
Have more self-respect than that - you deserve better, and you can get better.
At this time in your life, concentrate on your career goals and your "purpose" in life, and the relationships will fall into place more securely.
2006-07-18 20:27:01 · answer #5 · answered by sugarpine25 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you shouldn't. If your boyfriend really loves you then he will wait until you are ready.
I don't believe people should have to wait until they're married until they have sex if they want to, but you shouldn't do it because you feel pressure from him. You should have sex when YOU feel you are ready. Any man who truely loves you should respect that.
On the other hand if you really want to go for it. Discuss birth control options with him ahead of time. Go down to planned parenthood together to get birth control if you must.. Be responsible about it.
2006-07-18 20:35:15 · answer #6 · answered by herdoula 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you feel you need advise on whether or not to do it, DONT. if you are ready you will know right off. if he loves you, he will not leave you over this. it does not matter how old you are. when you are ready, you will know. NEVER sleep with a guy as a way to keep him. he will end up just wanting that and not wanting you (as a person). in fact, i suggest you wait until you meet the right guy. one that you dont have to worry about him leaving you if you dont have sex with him.
2006-07-18 20:21:33 · answer #7 · answered by lnglidewell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you shouldn't.
If you think the only way to get a guy to stick around is to sleep with him you better think again.
If that's the only reason he's with you then he's obviously more interested in what's between your legs than what's between your ears.
He just wants to "nail" you then he'll dump you and move on to another virgin.....it's a little game the guys like to call "cherry picking"...and guess who gets hurt? The girls that are dumb enough to think that just cause a guy wants to sleep with them that means they are in love with them.
Men give love in the hope of getting sex.
Women give sex in the hope of getting love.
Both are cheated.
2006-07-18 20:28:15 · answer #8 · answered by Jennifer B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
based on much experience, i must agree that *you know u.w* has the right approach. of course he wants to, its totally natural at his age and pretty much beyond voluntary control. YOU must decide what's best for you, and not based on what he wants. if he truly does care, and there are some boys his age who are actually disciplined, reflective, not overly selfish, and sensitive, then he will wait. if he leaves because of your requirement to wait, i assure you, you will, nevertheless, have made the correct decision and will survive the loss.
2006-07-18 20:31:15 · answer #9 · answered by drakke1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
say no if you don't want too, but having sex doesn't mean you will have a baby. I think, because of the way you asked this question, you are not ready and should educate yourself before you have sex.
2006-07-18 21:03:17 · answer #10 · answered by stlquetea76 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋