My wife and I have been discussing having a second child and I am ok with it, but then she sprung on me that she was pregnant. We havent had sex in a while and well, she assures me that its mine but i am really worried that it isnt. What and how should i approach the situation?
2006-07-18 12:23:10 · 11 answers · asked by guttermouth029 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
She is 12 weeks along and it has been like 5 months since we did anything so it doesnt add up. I have noticed that she takes showers right after she gets home from work? I am screwed. I love her and well I dont want to have to do this.
2006-07-18 12:37:42 · update #1
If you have not had sex in a while, I believe that you have to ask yourself one very specific question: "Is my wife a whore?" I will answer this for you: "yes". Now you have two options, one would be to raise the kid as your own and shut up about it. The second would be to wait until the baby is a year old and then go on Maury Povic and ask for a DNA test. This is harder on the kid, but makes for good entertainment. I love watching white trash problems on television.
2006-07-18 12:27:22 · answer #1 · answered by VantheMan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure it has been 5 months, sometimes three months can seem like five. And if you are fairly sure then I would definitely get a DNA test when the baby is born. But you have some things to think about between now and then. Like what you will do if the child is not yours. And what you two will do in that situation. My husband and I where split up for a year and I got pregnant and we are back together and he raises her like his own but that was a different situation since we were split up. Hope things work out for you.
2006-07-18 19:56:38 · answer #2 · answered by nitekitty3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess it just depends how long "a while" is. Don't say anything until after she sees a doctor (unless she already has). After the doctor visit, find out exactly how far along they think she is. They are pretty good at getting pretty close. Then try to remember if you guys slept together around that time period.
If you did, then I wouldn't worry about it. I wouldn't base my claims of her being unfaithful on just one thing alone. If there have been other things in your relationship that lead you to believe she is cheating, then it would be a bigger concern.
If you don't think you've had sex within the time period that the doctor says she got pregnant, then confront her, but be as civil about it as possible. Try to talk things out and keep them calm, remembering that you have another child together. I'm not saying that you have to stay with her if she cheated on you just because you have a kid together, but a divorce will be alot easier on a child when there's as little yelling and screaming going on as possible. I hope everything works out for you.
2006-07-18 19:33:51 · answer #3 · answered by autumnfaerie8 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on how far along she is as to where or not it's yours!!!!!! If the time frame doesn't match up; you have to wait until the child is born to do a paternity test but you may fall in love with the child by then; if you are having doubts about it then you really need to sit down and talk to her about it!!!! It is a very delicate situation to "accuse someone" of being unfaithful but if you LOVE her you have to be honest with your feelings or it will turn into a very UGLY situation for not only you both but both of the CHILDREN!!! Good Luck and congrates on being a father again!
2006-07-18 19:31:34 · answer #4 · answered by wolfpack0810 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
um.. find out exactly how pregnant she is, and count back to when you last had sex?
if it doesn't add up (and if you're having problems in your marriage, which is what it sounds like if you're not having sex), it sounds to me as though she has been bringing up the *idea* of having another baby so that she could conveniently then spring it on you that she was already pregnant (unfortunately, w/someone else's baby).
but make sure you get all the facts straight before (or if) you accuse.
good luck.
2006-07-18 19:31:09 · answer #5 · answered by melon_rose 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you not believe her? She is the mother of your child! You are the father...maturity is needed here. What do you mean how should I approach her? Has she given you any reason not to believe her? Do you trust her so little? Who is having the problem here? You are getting ready to be a new dad, again...rejoice, and help her...she needs it!
2006-07-18 19:29:42 · answer #6 · answered by BowtiePasta 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's a while?
You suspect that she had time to cheat on you? With one child and a household to look after?
Reason to be suspicious?
How many months has it really been since you last?
Why would she have to assure you?
Too many unanswered questions.
2006-07-18 19:27:34 · answer #7 · answered by Pondering Reality 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could get a blood text or DNA test to determine the father, but what will you do if it isn't yours? Will you leave her or stay with her? If you would stay with her, would it make a difference who the father was? These are some tough questions to answer...
Hope everything is okay!
2006-07-18 19:26:34 · answer #8 · answered by merigold00 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when the child is born insist on a dna test just to be sure i would and if she has a problem with it she probaly cheated on you anyway if she knows in her heart that she is not lying then she should not have a problem with a dna test yay i just got to level 3 see ya
2006-07-18 19:26:46 · answer #9 · answered by abramelin_the_wise_mage 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well....how far along is she? Not to get personal or anything. But maybe she has been pregnant for a while?
2006-07-18 19:27:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋