At what age did you come out of the closet and how did your parents take it?

Question

I am still "in the closet". I want to tell my mom but I don't know what to expect. I am relying on her for college money for the next few years and I don't want to screw things up.

My sister goes to my school also and we don't get along.

Answer 1

I knew and decided it was my life by seventeen, and soon after that most of my friends knew (aside from ones that already had figured it out). I came out my senior year in high school, and was pretty much wide open in college.

I did (and do) have a couple of things going for me. One --my mom. She's really smart and totally cool. She's also a biologist. Still, it took her a while to really accept my life.

The second thing I have going for me is how my mom raised me -- to think for myself, to believe in myself and my convictions. Like I said, she's a cool mom.

I won't lie and say it was always smooth. It wasn't, especially in high school, and at first with my brother,and there were times I -- well, it never is easy going against that social "norm." And, people have a way of finding how to get to you, no matter how strong or smart you are, especially if they matter to you. I've parted ways with some family and friends, but I've moved on. My mom and my brother are with me now all the way.

Today I live a good life with my lover of more than one year, and looking back over the 7+ years since I came out, I can honestly say that I'm a lucky girl (and I do say so all the time.)

I hope you find the same, but I know it won't be easy on the way. You're young, still sussing out your world and you have a more difficult journey than most your age.

I know you want an open relationship with your mom, but try to remember that it's okay to gradually move into that. After all, you're wanting her to grow into something that she may not be ready for.

Try not to let money be the reason for holding back, however. I understand about the college money, and no one would question your motive there. That's okay. I just mean that if you need to hold back, it should be to allow her and yourself time to grow, you know?

Okay, I hope you find oodles of love and support here and along the way. Love and kisses, Sunshine.

Answer 2

Hey. I am so sorry that you have to go through this. I am still in the closet too, and it sucks doesn't it?

well, if i were you i would see where your parents stand on GLBT issues. see if they're homophobic or not. if they are homophobic, i wouldn't tell them just yet.

when you're in college, you're more than likely not going to live at home. you can have a girlfriend and say she's your roomate and they would never know.

if i were you i would wait until after college, but some say it's easier to come out before.

good luck, and i hope it goes well.

Answer 3

i came out when i was twenty-three i had moved out i got drunk one morning after work and called my mom and told her she said she was going to come over and cast the devil out of me lol
we still talk and i am in a wonderful relationship 3 years now my mom has gotten to the point where liveing in denial works best for her so at least she is still in my lifei give her credit for that and to you i am gonna say if your ok with the closet for now finish what you have to do but if somewhere along the way you meet someone that is right for u grab on to it and hope she will be ok with you closeted at least to your family till your ready to come out but it just might work out that in the end they might already know about you my family did i underestimated them it is a miserable place being in the closet i am glad i came out.

Answer 4

I came out just a couple months ago....My mom acted like it was fine but anytime I mention anything like Pride, she automatically tells me that I shouldn't flaunt my sexuality to everyone......I think she is homophobic but won't admit it......I would tell her it is much better to be out the closet than in.........but before you tell her try to get her opinion on some gay issues like Gay Marriage and such......

Answer 5

i'm sorry to hear that. unfortunetly a can't give you any advice cuz i'm a closet bi. i kind of want to tell people but i'm just to worried about the out come as well. so if someone helpful answers this can you tell what they said.

Answer 6

me myself im locked in a closet with no light ant the key has fallen through the floor bords and im getting blinder by the day...theres light under the door

Answer 7

21. A year later my mother still just thinks its a phase and my father is still in denial. Who knows how your family will take it. They will always love you. My father probably thinks that its issues that I have and my mother has just convinced herself that Ill eventually come out of it. Its just something that isnt discussed around here.

Answer 8

i have only "come out of the closet" to my most closest best friend and boyfriend and i've announced it on my yahoo profile to strangers. (im bisexual) but nobody - and i mean nobody - in my family knows! so u can still "come out" without certain people finding out

Answer 9

I was 19 when I came out as bi to my mom. I still have yet to come out to my dad (I am 25 now). She took it really well, but she was open to it to begin with.


As far as outing yourself to your mom/$$$.


You have to ask yourself this.... is it worth denying who you are and lying about it to get the money?

Answer 10

I WAS 16 AND MY SISTER TOLD MY MOM THAT I HAD A GIRL FRIEND AND SHE WENT CRAZY I MEAN BANANAS IT WAS CRAZY GUYS