There's this woman I like. She happens to be a lesbian so I'm thinking about approaching her. The thing is, I'm not out to my parents. What should I do?
2006-07-18 11:28:51 · 23 answers · asked by jill45690 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Just so you know, I want REAL answers, no "you're a sinner, turn straight" stuff (you know who you are). Thank you!
2006-07-18 12:12:49 · update #1
im in the closet but i still b with other females - because i let that female know that im bi. i just dont go around telling everyone - especially not my family. my man knows im bi. my best friends know im bi. but thats it. i just dont feel like being judged by all the azzholes in this world so i keep it quiet.
so to answer ur ?
u can still be lez/bi without coming out of the closet 2 ur family
2006-07-18 14:34:35 · answer #1 · answered by BOSS 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Depends. Do you live with your parents? If you do, and you come out to them....what is their reaction likely to be? And if they find out while you're dating this woman, are you financially sound enough to live on your own (NOT moving in with her???) I know that seems way ahead of the game, but you know the old jokes....
I'd be cautious. Is she out? Will she expect that you show outward signs of affection (which she has every right to). When push came to shove, would you be willing to defend/stand up for the relationship?
The reason I ask is this. There is already a lot of pressure on gay and lesbian couples. And not being out of the closet might add a whole new set of pressures and headaches to the relationship.
I would look these questions over and answer them the best way you can. Based on that information, you should be able to come to a decision. And, the final question. Does she know you're interested? If so, just talk to her. Tell her you like her, you'd like to get to know her better and see where she would stand on the issue of you not being out.
2006-07-18 11:48:18 · answer #2 · answered by Autumn BrighTree 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start going to church. See a shrink. Ask God to forgive you and get a man. Peace. Homosexuality is an abomination. If you still choose to be a lesbian. Stay in the closet and don't come out. If being a lesbian is so great then why are you so ashamed. Peace.
2006-07-18 11:33:07 · answer #3 · answered by cave man 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can date while in the closet. It's not a crime. However, while many of the women you meet may be ok with you not being out, some may care a lot. There's only one way to tell so I say, go for it. I hope this helps.
2006-07-18 11:37:35 · answer #4 · answered by Girasol 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all come out of the closet. I would not date an one who was in the closet, it make a relationship very difficult.
2006-07-18 12:04:11 · answer #5 · answered by Mark F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was exactly in that situation. I was seeing a girl and she was bi and i was lesbian and i hid it from my parents until me and my friend had a big fight and told my mom and while she told my mom i was at the girls house cause i was scared. my mom called there and oh my god my mother was sooooooooo upset i told her i was gay and she kept insisting i wasnt gay. my parents cried. i went home and talked to my mom. Now it turns out am not gay and i have a boyfriend now. We love each other very much but i still think about that and it really scares me. I still have fantazies about it though
2006-07-18 13:38:27 · answer #6 · answered by Sandra 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her out and tell her your in the closet. Alot of people understand that you will tell when the moment is right for you - however, if you are prepared to be in the closet forever...you might want to say that you are closeted and THEN, ask if she will go out with you.
2006-07-18 11:32:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can date her, but eventually she's gonna expect you to come out of the closet. Because if you want the relationship to continue then you are gonna have to be honest.
2006-07-18 11:46:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
two women can be friends..without anyone suspecting they are lesbians. if you act appropriately in public. what you do behind closed doors.. out of the eye sight of others is your business. i would get the announcement over with to your parents..if i were you. sneaking is tough..and living a lie is even worse. we have conseguences with our choices.. so let the chips fall..
2006-07-18 11:34:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As most relationships start as friendships, I would say it would be ok to get to know her! Go have coffee and talk or go to movie more "friend" orientated things. And you should tell your parents, they will be there to love and support you. It is not fair to you or them keep that from them as that is who you are. You may want to take them aside separately to tell them-if that helps! Good luck!
2006-07-18 11:35:00 · answer #10 · answered by Cloudy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋