I have a dilemma and do not know what to do. I work about 55 hours a week currently. My Father is in his 80's (I am his caretaker)...thing is...I have this opportunity to gain part time work..(about an add'l 15 hours a week)--but I want to be able to take care of my Father and sepnd quality time with him. If I take this opportunity...I will be forced to sacrifice time with him and will have to arrange for someone else to shuttle him to his physician visits..which are numerous. Then the other side of the coin, there are bills I could pay and things I could buy for my Father and myself IF I take this opportunity. I just feel as though either decision I make...I will regret.....what would YOU do??????????
2006-07-18 10:07:30 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
PS...I have no other family members around to help...or that will help.
2006-07-18 10:14:33 · update #1
As nice as the money would be, you can never earn more time. In five years, you will regret the decision LEAST that gave you the most time with him.
My hat is off to you for all you are doing and juggling. God Bless you!
2006-07-18 10:11:31 · answer #1 · answered by Love2Sew 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Thats true love from u for ur Father. I dont know how old r u, married or single? I have the same problem thats y i try to work mostly in night. If u want to work in day time u can seach for a caretaker or may be ur friend who can take care ur father. U can pay them ( Friends doesnt take much money. So find a friend who can take care and find a good job so u can pay them and also ur bills. And i really feel respect for u that in this generation u love ur father so much. May God help u in every problems u have..
2006-07-18 10:16:40 · answer #2 · answered by Moh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all as a women if you dont create me time than there is no you. I dont see where you have listed quality time for yourself.
Second: Time waits for no one including you, The bills will be here long after your gone.
Third: This is your father, who most likely have done his best by you so therefor the best thing you can do for him is give him his special time with you before he go and meet his creator. That way when he goes bye, bye, you will have no regrets cause you have done your best.
Fourth: With out you nothing is going to happen, again make time for self.
Fifth: create a budget, make little sacrifice like cooking instead of going out to eat or wear jeans and t-shirts to accomadate shopping for clothes. I hope this help
2006-07-18 10:17:25 · answer #3 · answered by butterfly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you work yourself to death or become over stressed due to working the extra job.. what good will you be to him at that point? Bills will ALWAYS be a part of everyones' life... However, since your father is in his 80's please value the time you have with him. Nice that you care enough to think of the relationship.
You don't need the extra hours... you need the extra time.
You can always get another job.. you can't get another father and you certainly can't re wind the clock and re-coup the time and memories you'll miss being with him.
2006-07-18 10:15:53 · answer #4 · answered by 247 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your Dad is in His 80's, You have no idea how much time You have left with Him. Someone else might be abusive to Him. Many times They are afraid to tell. NO Money in the World is worth losing the time with Your Dad, and the possibility of Him being hurt and afraid. That is why People use Nanny Cams, They think the Person is good, and then They watch the tape, of some Person beating Their Child. Please think long and hard about it.
2006-07-18 10:14:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How sharp is your father? Ask him if he is lucid. I would bet he would tell you to advance your career because you will have it longer than him. I've told my kids I don't expect them to wipe my butt if I can't do it for myself, they have my permission now while I can make these decisions clearly.
I will say this, having him alive this long is a great thing. But by now you have heard all of his stories that he is willing to tell you.
My mother cleared her conscence with me when I was almost 30 and died when I was 35. My father died when I was 14 so there was a LOT I missed out on.
2006-07-18 10:17:23 · answer #6 · answered by i wear one button suit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You asked me what I would do.... so, here's what I would do... I would decline the job offer for now. Tomorrow is totally uncertain, wouldn't you feel better knowing that your father got to spend time with you while he was still there? I don't think he has any material needs that would be more special to him than this time with you. Best wishes
2006-07-18 14:28:05 · answer #7 · answered by colorist 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would spend as much time as I could with your father. Money might buy things but money does not buy the simple things in life. Take the opportunity to spend as much time as you can with him - there are many people who wish they could spend time with their parent.
2006-07-18 10:12:22 · answer #8 · answered by middle aged and love it 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would take the job. There's no harm in finding out later tht it's not going to work out. Get some bill spaid and if you're not happy with your situation, you can always quit. Nothing ventured nothing gained!
2006-07-18 10:12:59 · answer #9 · answered by court 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Instead of working more hours, maybe you could concentrate on finding a better job and decrease some of your hours. You also need time for yourself. We should be working so we can live, not live to work.
2006-07-18 10:13:23 · answer #10 · answered by fortuitousoppty 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋