I am just not happy with my marriage. For 8 years I have done EVERYTHING!! We have 2 children, a four year old and a one year old. I just don't think I love him anymore. He has changed though, He helps me a whole lot more than he use to. Any advice? or should I just go ahead and leave?
2006-07-18 09:36:19 · 12 answers · asked by Cutie B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
follow your heart, if your heart says leave, then leave if not then dont, because once your gone u will realize how much you really do miss him.
2006-07-18 09:42:14 · answer #1 · answered by ~*Jenny*~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the spark is not there, then it will never be. I know it's hard, but it is possible to fall out of love with someone. People change over time. Sometimes when u are so mad at someone for a long time, you just say one day "I HAD ENOUGH!" and leave. If you would be happier, go ahead and leave. It is also good for the children not to grow up in an unhappy environment. But you could try marriage counseling if u haven't already. Good luck to u both, and god bless.
2006-07-18 16:42:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you honestly say that you don't love him anymore?
That's a pretty important question to think about.....divorce isn't some casual, easy way to get out of things or trouble....I just hope your making the better decision, don't get me wrong, some people just don't love eachother anymore BUT I would try to make it work if you loved him at one time.....let me tell you, there's not a whole lot to pick and choose from on the other side of the fence.....I'm 36 with a 15 yr. old boy and I would give my right hand to have a sincere and honest relationship with my soulmate....I'm not telling you to stay with him just to stay with him, because that's bad in itself too but do a lot of soulsearching and thinking before you just throw everything out the window.
If the worst he does is not help as much, just tell him in no uncertain terms that you've had enough and if he's not going to start doing something about the problems then you will be forced to take action by seperating from him and possibly getting a divorce. With that being said, I would hope that he could find it within himself to try to compromise with you and give his 50%...
Good Luck to you, overall you still are a lucky woman, it could be a lot worse.
2006-07-18 16:47:49 · answer #3 · answered by Blue_Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are just unhappy, not necessarily with your marriage, but with life. Having two little ones is draining, especially if you think you are the one that has done EVERTHING. He probably thinks he has been doing EVERTHING. The fact of the matter is marriage/raising kids/living is hard. Two do it much better than one. Do you really think your life will be easier divorced? You will have all the old issues plus many more (his new girlfriend/custody/$ problems/visitation/your new bf's kids...etc). Take time to smell the roses. Just say "no" to friends and family that are too demanding of you. Take a class for yourself, something that interests you. Plan time alone with your husband (bet you haven't been alone, without the kids in months). With a little work your marriage will be fine. You are just going through a normal stage that we all go through.
2006-07-18 16:56:43 · answer #4 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is an excellent question to be asking your spouse in front of a marriage counselor!! If you still have respect and can Love him then decide to...re engage with him...fight for this...it's not just you but your kids as well you are fighting for. Until you do everything you can to save the relationship...you really can't leave with good concience eh?
2006-07-18 16:47:52 · answer #5 · answered by Cadman1965 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not uncommon after 8 years to be unhappy - try sparking up the relationship (and it does not have to be sexual) try new interests you can do together etc. Try talking to him and see if he is also unhappy. The stress of children also makes it hard on couples. My best advise to you is to give it a chance a little longer and see if you can just get over this hump in the road.
2006-07-18 16:48:08 · answer #6 · answered by middle aged and love it 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Search deep within your heart if still love if anf you can see yourself living with him for the next 10 years. If you think you can't visualise this, you should consider options to re-connect with him, start dating again and socialise. And if all else fails, you should seek counselling. Best wishes.
2006-07-18 17:21:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are these new feelings or have you been having them awhile. If you have had them awhile then why did you have another child with him. If they are new feelings hold off for a little while and see if they pass. Unless of course this is abusive in that case leave immediatly. Best of luck
2006-07-18 16:41:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I didn't. She left me. The best people to answer this question is those that have been together for decades. Why? Because they did something right or their minds were in the same place. Simply taking the opposite would answer your question.
2006-07-18 16:43:07 · answer #9 · answered by ntoriano 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can't determine that from a couple sentences...... I divorced my spouse because she cheated on me twice..... "first time, shame on you...second time, shame on me."
2006-07-18 16:42:48 · answer #10 · answered by BrownTown 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋