And i love him and he loves me... and we plan to marry..
But, one of my friends is very much agaist our relationship...
How should I handle our friendship..
2006-07-18 08:50:47 · 49 answers · asked by Thin White Duke 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
we were in the same boat. I am 40 my wife is 26, my friends where against it at first. I told them if they are my true friends then they would support me if the woman i now call my wife makes me happy.
2006-07-18 08:54:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 8⤊ 1⤋
Don't listen to anyone else. The only thing that matters is the love that the two of you share and the feelings that you have when you are together. I have been dating someone for almost four years now. He is 54 and I am 30. I met him obviously when I was 26 and he was 50 and two people could not be more in love with each other. Sure, I hear the critcisms all the time, but they are not important. Some relationships just work and others do not. It would be best to point out to your "friend" that while you appreciate her advice, it is your life and it is necessary for you to live it the way that you see fit. Also, please point out that a true friend supports you no matter what the issue. Friends may not always agree, but they understand. Be proud of your relationship and never worry about what others may say.
2006-07-18 08:59:27 · answer #2 · answered by Tytania 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, this really all depends on the age of not only the older man, but your age as well. If you are old enough to consent to this type of a relationship (in other words, you are an adult mentally and physically) then your friend will have to except your relationship. If you are not, your friend is probably just looking out for you. You should deeply evaluate why your friend feels the way that he/she does, and give it some thought to see if there is any merit to it. Be greatful that your friend cares that much about you, and try to explain your position. If your friend still doesn't come around, give it time. Your friend will either learn to accept your relationship, or will simply tolerate it. If neither takes place, it is still possible to please both your boyfriend, and your friends at the same time.
2006-07-18 08:56:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't mention how old you are or what the age difference is. Often young women are flattered that an older man finds them attractive and appreciate the greater financial security--but these men also come with baggage. An age difference of 20 years would suggest he can't handle a woman, and feels he can control a girl easier. Either way, the relationship will never be an equitable one.
2006-07-18 08:56:47 · answer #4 · answered by Singlemomof10 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend is not a part of the relationship. Your relationship with the person you love is yours and yours alone. If your friend really cares for you, he/she should try to be accepting and supportive.
But, having said that, give careful consideration to the reasons that your friend has given for being against it. Take a step back and try to look at this man objectively, and ask yourself if perhaps your friend is trying to keep you from making a mistake.
If all seems right when you look back at the relationship with an objective eye, and your friend just can't deal with it, you may have to make the difficult decision to let that friendship go.
2006-07-18 08:54:58 · answer #5 · answered by zartsmom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only a friend is going against your relationship. God, I wish our situation was switched. I'm going out with a guy 27 yrs. older and I too love him and recently have discussed marriage, the only problem is that all my friends are against it and so will my family if they found out, which I'm guessing is pretty soon. My only advice is tell your friend that either he or she accepts you and your boyfriend or you will not be able to be friends anymore. I know this sounds bad, but are you willing to give up the man you love and will be happy together for a frienship. I gave up one friendship cuz my friend will never make me feel like the way my love makes me feel. If ha or she is your true friend than she or he will respect your decision in wanting to be with this guy. Good luck
2006-07-18 08:58:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't listen to what people say about your relationship..they aren't it in and they don't know how you feel. If you love this guy and he loves you then I hope you have a good life. Its none of your friends business...yeah they think they know best cause they are your friend but they will grow to like it and if not then all well. You are the one that decides who makes you happy and who you spend your life with not them. Just don't include her in the wedding details and so forth. Don't tell her about your relationship. Let her know that she is your friend but she has to let you live your life too and that no matter what you will always be there for her. Maybe she is jealous of the relationship you have with your man. Let her know how you feel about her being against you and this guy. Ask her how she would feel if you was being like that towards her?
2006-07-18 08:57:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you have to do what is best for you! Forget what friends think. I am 26 years older than my wife. I'm 48 she's 22. Best relationship I've ever had. Same for her too! We have been married for 4 years in October. We also have a 3 year old son.
2006-07-18 08:55:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Handle your friendship the same as always. And when it comes to YOUR relationship, if she doesn't have anything nice to say, tell her don't say anything at all. Why is she against it? Has he done something awful to you? If not, marry the man who loves and takes care of you. My hubby is 15 yrs older than me, we have been together 6 years. The only complaint I really have is that sometimes he acts like he is my father and gets grumpy sometimes. I deal with it though because I love him and he takes good care of me and the kids. Good luck to you...
2006-07-18 09:06:28 · answer #9 · answered by Poetess_4U 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would depend on the age difference. But don't let age get in the way, remember it's only a 3 letter word. Love is much more important.
My husband is almost 8 years older than I am and I love it. Men mature slower than women do in general. We have been married 16 years in September.
Good luck! and remember it is YOUR decision and no one elses.
2006-07-18 08:53:47 · answer #10 · answered by Deana G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on the age difference.
Depends on how old you are.
Ask your friend why she objects. Does she have a point?
If there is a big age gap then she may be right.
But the truth is that it is you who is going out with this guy not your friend so it is up to you in the end.
Just tell her that you understand what she is saying and thank her for being concerned and just ask if she will be there for you if it is a mistake. Making her feel wanted will make her feel better.
2006-07-18 08:51:56 · answer #11 · answered by n 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋