What is wrong with the so called "gay lifestyle"?

Question

Please, someone tell me what is wrong with falling in love with someone, supporting them, caring for them? I am gay, and have struggled with this inner turmoil for some time now. I am ready to "come out of the closet" as they say, but I don't like the label "gay lifestyle." I mean, I eat, work, drive, walk, breath, and live just like any straight person would do, but am discouraged that I will have to put up with discrimination just because of who I am attracted to and who I love. I am what you would call "straight acting" I'm not into being effeminate, I like sports and cars just like any "normal" straight guy would. I am only 22 and have known I was "different" since I was 6, so I don't think I had a choice in the matter and know I was born that way. I just don't understand how the religous right can preach love but turn on and hate someone because of who they love? And why so much focus on the sexual aspect of it? Sex is not the only thing on gay peoples' mind ya know!

Answer 1

The only people who talk about "the gay lifestyle" are people who don't know jack sh*t about being gay. I saw f*ck em. I'm here to live my life, not to play into anyone's ideals, expectations, or condemnations of what they think my life should be.

Answer 2

So don't use the label "gay lifestyle." I'm out, have been since I was a teen and have been with my partner for nearly 15 years, I don't call it a gay lifestyle. I call myself gay, or whatever else strikes my fancy -- but it isn't a lifestyle, its what one is.

The moment someone starts a "witness" by saying they "lived the life" or were "in the lifestyle" you know that they are lying and making it up. No one who is really gay, that I know, uses the phraseology.

Don't sweat it. You come out as a gay PERSON, not a lifestyle.

We are gamers. I swore when I was 14 years old that I would never be with anyone as a b/f who didn't play games (like real games, board games, bridge, d20 --etc). Well, I kept it, Jonathan and I met at an RPG table. Our friends are mostly straight, but they are all gamers and have no problem with gay people. The gamer/sci-fi community is one of the most accepting communities in the world.

Likewise we are active in community, and are accepted in community because of it. We have jobs, lives, etc.

The Religious Right is a joke. Fundamentalism, the birth-mother of the Religious Right emerged in Christianity after the emergence of Higher Criticism in Germany in the 1800s -- it emerged to reaffirm the fundamentals of the faith -- but of course, more and more of them are disproved.

I'm Christian but I don't believe in a laughable bronze age book that says the earth has corners (Isaiah 11:12), sits on pillars (I Samuel 2:8), and is on top of the water (Psalms 24:1-2). The book says beetles have 4 legs not 6 (Leviticus 11: 21-23) and states that rabbits chew cuds (which they do NOT) (Deuteronomy 14:7). (those few examples barely scratch the surface -- the Bible is rife with errors in math, physics, biology and history -- not to mention the odd failed prophecy) Few people actually study the book truly for themselves, something I urge people to do, and they simply refuse to believe that bible-god really says what he says about committing genocide in god's name [Joshua 10:40-42 and Joshua 11: 18-23]; about accepting a human sacrifice [Judges 11:30-39]; about a successful land sacrifice (looking EXACTLY like the land sacrifices being offered by other pagan kingdoms) [II Samuel 21] and about causing cannibalism among the people [Deuteronomy 28: 53-59]. (again only a few examples)

There are lots of more rational branches of Christianity that recognize that the Bible is indefensible, and as his Gracious Eminence, the Right Reverend John Shelby Spong says, the fundamentalists feel really large right now, and they are flailing about -- but they are flailing about painting a corpse, and no matter how much you paint a corpse, it is still dead.

"Biblical" Christianity has nothing to do with historic Christianity, and it will fail. In fact, if we all start just ignoring it, it will fail even faster.

Regards,

Reynolds Jones
http://www.rebuff.org
[e-mail]

Answer 3

Hi. I posted a similar question a week or so ago, and got some inspirational answers, along with a few from the typical, "you'll burn in hell" letters from people who profess to be religious but who have not looked at the scripture they quote closely enough to derive any meaning from it.

I do think that we suffer from being case in the mold of the guys who wear feather boas on floats at the pride parade, or the boys on "Queer as Folk," who sometimes subscribe to hit and miss anonymous sex, drugs and while parties.

People know we aren't all like that, if they think about it. Think of some of the more flamboyant straight characters we see in the news and on TV. If we were to judge the straight world by those examples, we'd all run and hide.

There is no real "gay lifestyle." If they want to say the "bar crawling, easy sex lifestyle" then that applies to a lot of straight people too. But we call them playboys and party girls. Otherwise we probably are more into the "suburban lifestyle" or the "yuppie lifestyle," or the "gym body" lifestyle, or any one of a hundred other lifestyles that applies as well to straights as it does to LBGT folk.

Answer 4

Understand this; no matter where you go, live, work, play or whatever fill in the blank space; people will always have an opinion and will speak negative about whatever makes you happy. Learn to block out the white noise and listen to those around you, who are a true inspiration into your life and the one you choose to love. Or you can simply hate yourself and be miserable. I think you'll you make the right choice. Good luck!!!

Answer 5

being gay is a sexual orientation, not a lifestyle, people live different lifestyles regardless of being gay or straight. I am gay, but not into anything that make's the stereotypical gay person that society associates with being gay.

Just be who you are, just because you are attracted to me, like me, doesn't mean that we have to mold ourselves into a lifestyle that society expects.

And yes the think cause we have sex with one another that we automatically take masculine and feminine roles in our relationships but that is completely wrong and not true.

Short answer be who you are, not what society expects.

Answer 6

There's nothing wrong, with the lifestyle. It's just the anti-gays and bible thumbers that try to preach to us about how we should live. And I agree with you on how is it that they can preach love one minute, then hate someone for who they love. I mean GOD teaches us to love everybody. So all the anti-gays need to stop judging because in the end GOD is the only one who can judge us. I hate how they think that the bible will justify their acts of hate.

Answer 7

Me too.

People are afraid of what they do not understand.
That's why so many people say, "it's not normal".
To them...."normal" is everyone who acts and believes as they do.
They have no other recourse but to play the "abnormal" card,.... like we don't already know that....LOL.

To hell with those that bash you. Luckily, like me, you're straight acting, so you won't get any guff from onlookers at a glance.

Come out, come out, wherever you are.
We need you!
Best of luck.

Answer 8

The point is; You're NOT STRAIGHT!! YOU"RE GAY!! And you're living in culture that likes to put labels on things. It's only a label... why should that bother you? Get over it, be yourself, and live life as you see it.

Answer 9

You are the same as anyone else. Dont listen to what they say about you, you are you and thats all the matters. If people dont understand, they dont matter.

Answer 10

There is nothing wrong with making happen whatever you think your lifestyle should be. Whatever it is, it is. Enjoy!