Trouble in Paradise.....I have a problem with my fiance'. We get along great and love each other very much.

Question

He treats me like the queen of the house and I the same for him. The problem is that when something goes wrong with our dog(Border Collie) it's always me who takes the majority of the verbal thrashing! he bought the dog for me for my B-day, last yr. she just turned a yr old. She has made some big mistakes along the way(Chewing new wooden furniture) and he has threatened to kick me and the dog out. She has been good tho for about the past 2 mo. and I thought she was over this. Till last night when we left her outside( not unusual) to run to the store. Came home and she had chewed the hoses to our above ground pool, broke an adaptor on it too, where the hose fits to the pump. He went off at the dog and then turned on me! Verbally! It's my fault because she is my dog! He came at me over and over till 2am this morning and I tell you it was worse than physically being hit! He left for working telling me he will no longer have this in his home. He works hard, doesn't need this in his life

Answer 1

if he acts like this there is no way hes treating you like no queen believe me hes verbally abusing you and you don't need this in you life just tell him its a dog hes going to do things like that and your not in any way responsible also next time he might find other reasons to take something out on you don't put up with it tell him to get help or try to change or its over. Also might want to make sure hes being faithful guys treat wifes like **** when there cheating been thru both in my past. Just cjheck all your options and go for it.

Answer 2

The dog is not the problem. He is, getting rid of the dog would only be a band aid fix, the problem would still be there. It sounds like he has control issues. If he is not out right controlling, he is using the dog to do it. He likely takes control in other negative ways that you may not have noticed (yet). Does he manipulate things so you go to the store when HE wants to go to the store? Do you find yourself cooking what HE wants for dinner regularly, and never having your first choice? Does he control the finances? If these things don't happen now, they likely will, it can be very subtle changes and you may not clue in until it is too late. Sometimes letting your partner make decisions for you can seem nice, makes your life a little easier, you are doing what makes him happy right? This can turn really bad when he tries to force his opinion on you, and make you feel bad for not agreeing with him. I would exam the reasons you have for doing the things you do that make him happy. Are YOU happy and not just putting aside your true feeling to keep the peace?

Answer 3

Well it sounds more like his a little jealous. He may not tell you but if you give the dog a lot of attention that's attn taken from him. The same happens when there's a baby. The man feels left out. It doesn't help if the dogs does things like you explained. Consider him and give up the dog if is bothering him so much. Neither you or your dog need to be treated that way . It will probably hurt to let go but the way it sounds is only going to get worst with your fiance. Give the dog to some close to you so you can see her from time to time. Best of Luck.

Answer 4

Your dog is a year old now and should be getting over chewing things up as he or she has been cutting teeth. It sounds like your letting your dog get to things that it can destroy. Perhaps limit the dogs run of the house and yard by putting on a chain or in a pin with a dog house and give it the things you want it to chew on. Raw hide bones, toys, so on . I had a dog that done the same and can't remember what age he got it out of his system. So just limit your dogs reach of things until it gets over chewing everything in sight.

Answer 5

I grantee you he does not mean most of the things he tells you.He's a man and when men get anger we sometimes get very verbal and it's not worst then being hit.Sit down and talk to him about him being too verbal and about taking the dog to obedience school or train the dog yourself through discipline meet each other half way that's what relationships are about especially marriage

Answer 6

pretty bad when he takes it out on you for the dog. And then a dog he got you.
A dog is only 7years old at his one year. Hummm a child would be being naughty also. You must think of the dogs that way.
My concern is if you had children with this guy. Will he blame you for them being naughty. It maybe worth thinking about.

Answer 7

if the dog is the only problem u think u have u r wrong...is he gonna act this way when the kid pukes on his new suit? he should go to anger management and mayb u both should go to a counciler.
if u dont wanna do that...then is the dog more important than yr fiance'? do u wanna get married...or have a dog? if they both cant b together than ull have to choose one
good luck...u have my sympathy

Answer 8

first get rid of the damn dog, or send it to obidience school....

second, it sounds like anger management problems.... you need to talk to him about it when he has chilled out.....and thigns are normal.....

... just brign it up and say something like "Honey, i'm kinda bothered by what happened the other day. You really hurt my feelings, can we please figure out a better way to handle that kind of stuff?"

...i mean whats gonna happen when yall have kids.... because you shoved out is everything they do wrong going to come back on you? or worse, it he going to flip out on one of the kids one day for something he didnt know any better about?

you need to talk to him about this reguardless of if the dog stays or goes..... he shouldnt have gotten it anyways if hes gonna be a baby about it...

Answer 9

something else seems to be goin on with him all this ova a dog, i think not i think something else is goin on there but if the dog is causin all this trouble get rid of it, i couldnt see u 2 havin a kid n all n it doin something wrong.

Answer 10

Get rid of the stupid dog....duh...