My son's father won't marry me after 3 years, should I stay??

Question

I have been with my son's father for 3 years. He keeps making excuses of why he can't marry me. I love him but this is important to me. What should I do??

Answer 1

you need to decide how important it is to you try explaining why its important to you to him if he still says no then ask his reason why and listen to his words as he explains with out butting in i think marriage is just a piece of paper and trading names but i been married and wished there was an easier way out divorce is costly make sure marriage is what you really want.

Answer 2

I have been through the same thing. I got pregnant then we were living together and now we have a 15 month old and recently got separated. You feel like he doesnt love you enough to marry you and most likely it hurts but that is what it is. You cant get inside his brain and heart to know what he feels and what he thinks. You could only look out for your own feelings. i knew i loved him but i also felt guilty within myself because i felt like was settling to be with someone who wouldnt even marry me. 2 Months ago he decided to get separated and there was my answer to why he never wanted to get married. He wasnt there. I was ready and he wasnt. I dont think you should play that whole leave him and see what he does. If you do leave him dont expect him back be ready to be on your own no matter how hard it would be. If he does come back make that a rule. No reconciliation unless you guys tie the knot. The reason why you left him in the first place. If you decide to stay with him do not bring it up in every fight, this will only lead to more problems and separation in the first place.

Answer 3

I think you need to sit down and make a pros and cons list. List the reasons that you love him, and the good things that he does for you and your son on one side. On the other list the bad things and the things that could be better. Look at your two list very closely and then decide if you are willing to stay in a relationship that appears it will not lead to marriage. You could also ask him what it is about you that makes him want to be with you. Then ask him if you were good enough to have a child with, why are you not good enough to marry. Ultimately you have to decide your own fate. If you are unhappy in your current relationship with him, and you need more out of a relationship (something that will lead to marriage) then you should really move on. It will probably be one of the most pain full things you will go through especially because you share the most precious thing GOD could ever give you, a child. But believe me that it will get better with time, and the pain of staying can sometimes be worse than leaving. Hope that GOD will guide you in the right direction. Pray on it, it does more than you will ever know.....

Answer 4

ok girls. this is a clue.
What your suppose to do is meet a guy, fall in love, get married, have sex, have a baby.

Instead girls have sex live with a guy, have a baby, move in together, fall in love, and wait and hope that he marries you.

See, by the time you guys are three or four years in to the relationship, the guys realize what it takes to support a family.
Being married sets that financial responsibality in stone. By this time you guys probably argue a lot, You probably nag him and he can't do anythig right. How does that make a guy want to get married?

You know the old saying....why buy the milk when you can get the cow for free. ?
And that goes both ways. Why buy the sausage when you can get it for free?

Answer 5

You have his son and he has probably been getting all the fringe benefits of a married man, so why should he rush now, just because its been three years? You said its important you "you", and that sounds selfish. What is important to him? After 3 years, you should know. No one can tell you what to do.

Answer 6

Only you know the answer to that. If you love him and want you son to have his father, you will stay. If you have fallen out of love with him, move on and find a man that will be a good father and husband. Sometimes when you tell someone that you want to split they come around. He might change his mind if he knows he is going to loose you. Good Luck!

Answer 7

Well, I think you know the old saying..."why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?" You've been playing wife...you have a kid together and I presume you must live together as well. He's got what he wants. If being married is something you truly want, you need to speak to him about it. Tell him you want the stability of marriage for you and your son, and if he can't make a commitment to you, then you will leave and eventually find someone who can.

Answer 8

Find someone who wants to be married. Trying to talk someone in to marriage is not a good idea, it won't work and you might as well skip straight to the divorce. It doesn't work half the time when people think they really want to be married.

Not to state the obvious, but shouldn't you have figured that out before you had a child together? it's a child, not a puppy, and you brought him in to the world knowing he didn't have a dad that wanted to be around.

Answer 9

here's the thing. if he is still working towards a goal, such as opening a business or finishing school, then it's understandable. but, if he's secure in where he is in his life, then you better thell him to shitt or get off the pot. although, three years is not that long. i was with my ex for three years and marriage never came up...nor did the idea of living together.

Answer 10

Is a piece of paper and a ring more important than being with him?