My husband had sex with his niece who is 15.He has been sentenced to 5-15 years in prison.How do you deal with the pain of betrayal?I am filing for divorce and he keeps harassing and threatening me from jail.
2006-07-18 08:07:21 · 15 answers · asked by Theresa T 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you gotta sever ties
2006-07-18 08:10:23 · answer #1 · answered by h_wallbanga 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't think of this as being your fault. Don't put the blame on yourself. I'm sure all your family members know exactly how you're feeling, and no one is condemning you for what he did. I'm sure they will all stand behind you. Getting a divorce is absolutely necessary in this case. You have to sever all ties with this man. How is he harassing you and threatening you? Is he calling you? If so, tell the police and they can put a wire tap on your phone. He will get more time added to his jail sentence for harassment. Tell the people in the jail that he is no longer allowed any contact with you (via phone or mail). Ask them to make him aware of that. Make sure that when the time comes for him to be released, you have a "protection from abuse" charge placed against him. God Bless You and Best of Luck! I hope that you find someone who will love you the way you should be loved!
2006-07-18 08:21:23 · answer #2 · answered by trueblond195 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thank goodness he'll be behind bars for a while. I'm so sorry - that really must be devastating. But you must move on and realize that what you have been through with him is NOT the norm. His thoughtless selfishness has cost both you and I'm sure many other family members, including the niece, a great deal of heartache. Just understand that it is not your fault, there is nothing you could have done to stop it.
You will live and learn to trust again. There are a lot of truly good people out there who will help make life easier for you as time goes on. Best of luck/
2006-07-18 08:14:32 · answer #3 · answered by beadtheway 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Save the harrassment and threats he sends or puts on voicemail or answering machine. Tell the police about it.
As for the betrayal....was it the first time he did something like this or were there other times?
Facing the betrayal and feeling all the emotions that went with it helps. Finding a group of people who have been through the same thing may be helpful too.
2006-07-18 08:15:35 · answer #4 · answered by KeeCee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This would be so difficult because he committed such a horrible crime. It is definately going to take some time for you to heal. The best advice I can give you is to take it one day at a time. You should remove anything that reminds you of him from your house. Get rid of pictures, gifts, anything that makes you think of him. Don't accept his calls and change your phone number. Return any letters he might send you. You might even want to get away for a little while. Take a trip to give yourself a mental break. In time, it will get easier. What he did was very horrible and he is a horrible person but, don't let his actions make you shut down. Good luck to you and you are in my prayers.
2006-07-18 08:23:14 · answer #5 · answered by Peace2All 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
move. make sure he doesnt have ur new address. change ur no. u need to start a new life. these type of men r not even good enough to spit on. having sex with a 15 yr old and tht also a neice. he is such a dog. no separation is easy but at this point u have no choice. peace of mind and soul. that means as far from this dog as possible. contact only through lawyers where u dont even have to see his face
2006-07-18 08:17:13 · answer #6 · answered by in ur face 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must stop answering his calls from prison and change your number. The pain will be there for a while unfortunately. But you must try to pick up and slowly 1 day at a time start rebuilding your life.
2006-07-18 08:17:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, so sorry for you. I'm sure your beyond angry with him. Just remember what he did to his niece, that will help you to get over him real quick. If the harassing and threats get to be too much, contact the authorities. Don't let him punish you for what HE did. Bless you.....
2006-07-18 09:08:45 · answer #8 · answered by older&wiserforit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
time will heal your pain just be patient. As for him harassing and threatening you from his jail, inform the prison as someone should be vetting his outgoing mail. good luck
2006-07-18 08:17:56 · answer #9 · answered by chinablue_8 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wouldnt just hate him for betrayel,id hate him for doing it to a minor, thats sick he deserved 5 to 15 even more and a good **** kickin, report him to the authorities about threats theyll do something about it, hes monitered when he makes calls, plus they read his mail going out, if he keeps it up they wont allow his mail to leave the prison.he can be charged for saying threats to you,and get another year or two
2006-07-22 02:03:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
follow through with the divorce and report all threats and harrasment to the authorities. Time will heal and I hope the nasty ******* never gets out.
2006-07-18 08:13:28 · answer #11 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋