Please give me information on what to do or how to help my friend. A friend of mine is continually having issues with her son. He doesn't want to follow the rules of the house and every time she gets on him or his step dad gets on him about doing something he want to get mad. He constantly runnin away from home just to go over his father house. (he can do what he wants over there) He has been in trouble in the streets over and over again. She has done all she can do and don't know what to do any longer. She also took him to counseling. (ordered by the court) When counseling completed, he went back to his same old selfish ways. He has been caught with dope and driving someones elses vehicle twice. She feels guilty as a mother b/c she feels as if she didn't raise him right. I told her there is only so much she can do. If he doesn't want to follow the rules in the home, he need to get out and provide for hisself. She agree but any one who has a child knows that is easier said than done.
2006-07-18 08:04:20 · 8 answers · asked by jetta 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
What she needs to do is get rules to be set up at the father's house. Make it impossible for him to run away. No door on his room key locks on his and all windows. Deadbolt that requires a key to be opened and don't make the keys available to him. Security system if any door or window is opened then alarm goes off, call the police and report a run away, he he does get out.
Change his schools so he is not hanging out with the same crowd. pick him up from school, let school know you and your spouse are the only ones allowed too.
If father does not want to straighten up, then take him to court, most likely they will tell him to provide a better environment or not see the son at all.
24 hour supervision, no friends over no going to friends.
Be strict, be what he will say is unfair, do it. No more games.
Tell him it is your way or a bunk in juvenile hall.
2006-07-18 08:15:16 · answer #1 · answered by The Invisible Woman 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one ever said parenting is suppose to be easy. The answer is never to just give up and cut a minor child lose. If counseling helped and the behaviors came back after counseling was terminated then perhaps he still has issues he needs help dealing with. If he is running with the wrong croud then maybe they need to move. She needs to everything in her power to help him straighten up his life before he ends up another young man doing a long jail sentence or one who is enjoying the revolving door system of our jails. If she hs to walk him to the school door everyday and pick him up and keep him in her house the rest of the time to make sure he is doing what he is suppose to be doing then so be it. Better she teach him that she is the warden in charge and either obey the rules or live in her prison than for a court to send him to one. Also when he runs away the parents need to work together and present a united front. Dad needs to immediatly bring him home to mom and tell him it is not okay to disrespect her or the rules. Parenting is the hardest job on earth and sometimes you feel like throwing in the towel BUT you can not b/c you are all your kids have standing between them and a horrible life.
2006-07-18 15:13:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there like a teen reach program they have one here. Where they do things like trips,or crafts,sports its free. Its somewhere for them to go to stay out of trouble, I find some kids just get bored and find they rather get in trouble cause they cant keep themselves occupied. they even help with homework. Maybe something he can do he likes might help. And try counseling again and set rules and i would talk with his father who lets him do what he wants. Both of them need to come to some kind of agreement on how to handle his behavior, how old is your son, cause the big brother program is awsome and it give him a mentor someone postive in his life that spends time with him and take interest in what he likes, or talk to him to see what is bothering him. I dont know if kicking him out would be the answer if he is still younger than 18. And its sounds like dad just dont care. I would check in to some programs and maybe he will come out of his shell. maybe something is bothering him and he needs to talk to someone he likes and can open up too.
2006-07-18 15:16:18 · answer #3 · answered by hopelovesu2004 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he is totally hurting inside about something in his life! It could be something about his real dad or step dad! He doesnt think his mom is HEARING him at all when he voices his thoughts and opinions and he is taking his anger and frustrations out on everyone else! She shoud sit with him and just have a total heart to heart talk! Tell him exactly how she feels and give him the chance to tell his feelings without getting yelled at for them! He may have what we consider silly feelings BUT they are not silly to him! To him they hurt just like ours do! Talk with him as mother and son. Let him know she loves him more than life itself and she wants to help him anyway she can Good luck
2006-07-18 16:07:30 · answer #4 · answered by cstinkerbell6969 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that he feels more connected to his father, but you must show him that why he shouldn't visit very very often. You should show him that you are still his mother. You can't let him scare you. YOu must show him that this is our house and i intend to get you to follow the rules. If that doesn't help, talk to him when the stepdad is gone he may feel spaced in.
2006-07-18 15:10:10 · answer #5 · answered by babysmarts4ever 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
16 or older can live on their own. Tell her to kick his a s s out
2006-07-18 15:16:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if hes 18 kick him out of the house and when he comes crying back, thats when you know he learned his lesson.
2006-07-18 15:08:14 · answer #7 · answered by Harezichi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what about dose camps where they will teach them to act right
2006-07-18 20:06:18 · answer #8 · answered by rocha510 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋