Although the wedding is years off, I often find myself wondering how I am going to pull it off. I am Wiccan, my boyfriend is Atheist. My family is a mix of liberal and conservative Christians, his family is mostly more of the conservative Christian type (to my knowledge). I want to incorporate ideas of a handfasting, but not so much that it becomes obvious to those attending. I would prefer not to have a minister, or preacher, etc (although perhaps a minister from a UU church would work), and I don't want a whole bunch of "God this, God that, amen amen." Does anyone have any tips, personal stories, or ideas on how to do a wedding such as this? I still want it to be personal and spiritual, but anything but Christian. Some ideas I had were things like replacing the popular "Unity Candle" with the tieing of hands with an explanation of what it means to us.
2006-07-18 08:03:51 · 14 answers · asked by xenomorph_girl 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why not base your wedding around that which all weddings should be based on. Love. I mean regardless of religion, isn't that why you're getting married? Because you love another?
Love is non-denominational and doesn't care whether you are black or white or red or pink with blue polkadots. It doesn't care whether or not you believe in God, Buddah, Muhammed, or whatever dogma you claim as your own or by what name you call your God or Goddess as the case may be.
Honestly, I believe that love is the only thing common in all religions. And in my opinion, is the true religion.
2006-07-18 08:37:46 · answer #1 · answered by genetic_traitor 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I know what you mean. I'm not wiccan...actually I have no idea what I am. I guess the best way to describe it would be spiritual. I'm still trying to find my way. I do know, however, that I am not christian or any of ther many branches. My hubby and I are already married but were quite young at the time. I was 15 and he was 18. Guess you could say it was a "shot gun" wedding! Anyhow...he and I are planning on renewing our vows. I want to make everything perfect because the first one was thrown together quickly and all of the elements were decided by our parents. I just have no idea on what to include and how to do it in such a way that it doesn't offend anyone. Both of our families are christian. If you come up with any good ideas I would love to hear them! To be quite honest....you seem like a nice person and I would rather enjoy speaking with you about this subject and hopefully becoming friends. If you would like someone to talk with as well please sene me an email. Take care and I hope you have an amazing day!
2006-07-18 15:13:08 · answer #2 · answered by silent.peace 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I first must say Wiccan! I didn't know anyone still practiced that. Good for you. You say your husband is also Atheist. Well who's wedding is this? Your family's? His Family's? No it's your wedding and his. Don't worry about pleasing both families do what you want to do because it's your wedding. Everyone else already had their chance to get married and have a wedding. As far as how the ceremony will go...my advice is many Wiccan books can tell you how to incorporate such rituals in a wedding or how certain cermonies are performed. You can also look online or go to a library and look up book on different sort or ceremonies or weddings. Good Luck and Best Wishes :)
2006-07-18 15:10:49 · answer #3 · answered by trish_1109 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My husband and I are Christian... but I wanted to include several Pagan "rituals" in our ceremony. When you read about their meaning and history some of them are so neat (especially the handfasting)!
To me, none of the Pagan wedding ceremony stuff was ANTI-christian.... as a matter of fact lots of current Christian wedding practices came from Pagan roots (the term "tie the knot" comes from handfasting). So I don't think that anyone would be offended by the presence of a handfasting ceremony or anything else. It is a beautiful ceremony.
What I WOULD recommend is creating a program for the ceremony. Many people use this to explain what songs are being played and the order of the ceremony and who is who. But you could include in your program the meaning of the handfasting ceremony or whatever else you use. Don't hide it... explain it!
My uncle married us and we wrote our ceremony by picking and choosing things we liked from all sorts of sources. (It began with a monologue from Captain Corelli's Mandolin). We also did the "sand ceremony". And we explained the symbolism of the wedding ring and why it goes on the ring finger. In the end it only had one or two mild references to God. It was more personal and meaningful to us than the typical scripture verses people use and our whole family loved it!
PS: I think the movie Braveheart included a handfasting ceremony
2006-07-18 15:44:10 · answer #4 · answered by CJ040103 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all...I too am wiccan and my husband is not...There truly is no "wiccan wedding". A handfasting is literally only for one year and one day...You should have a handfasting and then after the year and a day is up, if you've lasted *divorce rate is unbelievable* then you can have a "traditional" wedding...I really like the idea of a representative from a UU Church, that way no one is offended...UU Churches have no dogma, good idea!! Kudos to you...Besides if you really wanted to have a wiccan wedding you'd have to find someone that is ordained...AND WICCAN WEDDINGS AREN'T RECOGNIZED AS LEGAL IN MANY STATES!!! better check into that one....
2006-07-18 15:17:19 · answer #5 · answered by Monica S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
keep it simple, simple themes, simple ideas, simple imagery. A lot of the Christian imagery works well for pagans as well. I have an alter set up in my house, but for my Christian friends I show them that the candles are for the Trinity, but also could be for the Lord, Lady, and Spirit as well as the Tri Goddess, The bowl of salt for earth can represents Jesus since he is the salt of the earth. The bowl of water can also represents Jesus since he is the water of life. The elements represents the elements of creation. Things have a lot of different meanings to a lot of different people. So keep it simple and if someone asks, explain it in a way they will accept. I know this doesn't exactly answer your question, but I hope it helps
2006-07-18 15:10:59 · answer #6 · answered by kethan_wererider 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get on a cruise ship and have the Cpatain marry you.
Maybe 2 ceremonies? One private for your wiccan beliefs and one to keep the folks happy.
2006-07-18 15:11:48 · answer #7 · answered by RenagadePriest 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Darling it is your wedding... for YOU TWO!!!! Do what you want to do and if they are offended then they have a problem! I am sure you sat through many church weddings that you felt uncomfortable in. There will be no way to please everyone and if you try, everyone will still find something to grip about... just do it for you.
2006-07-18 15:12:07 · answer #8 · answered by Mike Hunt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Los Vegas baby
2006-07-18 15:08:00 · answer #9 · answered by Legalia G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and your man should quit being silly and embrace the TRUTH like the rest of your family. Then you can have a wonderful church wedding where all enjoy.
2006-07-18 15:08:11 · answer #10 · answered by JoJo Pnuckle 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋